• my supervisor was finally promoted and has left our lovely branch hooha! not the best of times, not the worst of times. before he left, after a very sincere talk about how he is my mentor, he said that i was a pleasure to work with. from the moment i stepped into the banking centre, and he referred me, he wanted to work with me. he said that he knew i'd go far, and that no matter what supervisor i'd get, i'd work well and i'd exceed. he really believed in me. he said he'd keep in touch. he said that if he could, he'd take me with him and through that last week, there wasn't a day he didn't mention how lost he'd be without me. i was his right hand man. i helped him with everything. "what am i going to do without you," he'd say, and heave this big sigh like he wanted to whine but he knew he was getting a better deal at the end of the day. he gets to leave. he gets to leave and he gets a promotion!! he really thought i was swell.

remember that, alex.

you're not too bad, kid.

• tumblr RP is the lucifer. wrestling is the lucifer!!!! ugh i still really love wrestling, despite all these years. it's kinda silly, it's mostly fun, it's the 'goodnight moon' to my little kid, all tucked in and ready for bed. in real world news, today i left work early!! WOWZA i haven't done that in 38473282 years. jk, it's mostly been like 23839 months. but whatever!!! i left early, and we have our new supervisor, kimberlee. she's half chinese, half cuban! and we mistakenly thought she didn't speak spanish lololol she does. she's nice and cute and with a really strong and abrasive sort of personality. every time she asks me something and i don't answer to her satisfaction, she has this look about her like she thinks i'm stupid. though, i think it's mostly an unconscious thing...i'm not that psyched about her, tbh. but she seems to be on the same train as the rest of us when it concerns the trainees and she's really helpful in the line, which i personally really appreciate. it's a load off. AND I'M STILL GOING TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW MONDAY AUG 18!!!!!! HOLLA AT YO GIRLLLLLLL
• HA HA HAAAAA SO TODAY I HAD MY PA WITH MY BOSS (that's Personal Assessment) AND IT WAS A TOTAL RIOT!!! A+++++ LOVE MY JOB so basically, he tells me i had a stellar second quarter woohoo, totally reached all the goals i had from first quarter you go alex so bomb.com and that i'm doing GREAT. despite our shitty numbers as a team, i still EXCELLED. that's some real hustling right there. talk to yo girl. so then, i compare my scorecard to his, how i feel i did versus how he feels i did and he says i cheated myself on some things because i am so Modest and then comes the Where Do You Want to Go From Here talk like he's actually concerned about that shit. the whole WE WANT YOU TO BE READY FOR THE NEXT ROLE~~ WHAT DO YOU WANT THAT ROLE TO BE? i say, i don't really know. he says, you applied for this other role, were you not interested in it? OF COURSE I WAS????? BUT YOU DIDN'T LET ME GO??????? which comes out like: yes ofc i was, it's everything i wanted to do but recently, i haven't given it much thought as to what direction i want to take because i'm not much of a seller, you see... which really means I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK I'M GOING TO SCHOOL THIS PLACE IS NOT MY PRIORITY ANYMORE and he goes what?? what worries do u have abt selling? then i spew all this garbage about my personality not being cohesive to selling and how i don't rly think that's my ~field of expertise~ b/c yuck SELLING and then he comes out with his whole WELL WHEN I WAS IN YOUR POSITION I THOUGHT THE SAME THING BUT LOOK AT ME NOW spiel and i could NOT live with myself listening to his shit. you're not convincing anyone. i don't like you anymore!!!! you're mean and a bully!! and then i come out with the Big Guns. Mr. Boss Man, i still want to go to school. as a matter of fact, i need you to let me go early on monday and tuesday because i have class at 6 PM. he says, 5:30? i say, more like 5:15... THAT'S A FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTE DIFFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he stares at me with his most blank-est look. do you know what that means, he says. do you know what time you'd have to start balancing for that to work..? uhhhhh yes, at 4:45 so??? I WOULD NEED A TELLER FOR THOSE FIFTEEN MINUTES THAT YOU'D BE BALANCING, he starts, WHEN DO MOST OF OUR CUSTOMERS COME?? AT THE BEGINNING AND AT THE END, SO YOU SEE HOW THAT WILL CONFLICT RIGHT? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU KIIIIIIIIIIIIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???????????????? i scream. mentally, ofc. i can make the commitment of 5:30 he says but not 5:15 AS A FULL-TIME TELLER YOU SHOULD EXPECT TO BE HERE FROM START TO FINISH SO NEXT TIME I WOULD SUGGEST YOU CHOSE A CLASS AT A LATER TIME BECAUSE YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY HERE and then this GUY ACTUALLY STARTS TO TALK ABOUT HOW WE MUST ALL DECIDE FOR OURSELVES HOW IMPORTANT SCHOOL /REALLY/ IS BECAUSE HE WANTED TO GET A BACHELOR'S WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER BUT HE NEVER DID BECAUSE HE WAS SO FOCUSED ON WORK AND LOOK AT HIM NOW~~~ SCHOOL IS DEF IMPORTANT HE SAYS BUT IT DIDN'T STUNT MY GROWTH HERE AT THE COMPANY WHEN I DIDN'T GET IT. i'm just like bro. please. fucking stop. so much fucking nonsense!!! I'M STILL SCREAMING IT'S TWO DAYS???????????/ AFTER EVERYTHING I FUCKING DO FOR YOU I'M ALWAYS FUCKING AVAILABLE TO DO SHIT TO HELP AND I HAVE ALL THESE EXTRA RESPONSIBILITIES AND I MANAGE THE TELLER SIDE AS BEST I CAN BY MY FUCKING SELF BECAUSE I'M YOUR ONLY ACTUAL TELLER ON TOP OF IT ALL AND??????????????? (not that i don't have help, because i did. tremendous help from my coworkers but fuck mang) i just can't believe. i can't fucking believe that he wouldn't do this one fucking thing for me. i'm just. so floored by everything. by how selfish he is. what about me??? what about what i want? seriously? he said, we have to do the best work we can in our job and hopefully we'll be compensated for it. hopefully??? hopefully????? jesus h christ. you expect me to do all this grunt work and just /HOPE/ that i get rewarded? how about fuck you. how about fuck your shit working me to the point of fainting and crying every time you spew more crap at me because i can't handle how much of a SHIT boss you are. how let-down and disappointed and brushed aside and small and unappreciated i feel. i do work for you. i've stayed an hour or two every fucking day for the past several MONTHS excluding only when i'm actually OFF and yes, i do get paid for them but guess what? maybe it's not the most pleasant thing to do. maybe i'd like to leave a little early and not be at work 12 straight hours. i'm so disappointed in you. in the leader you are. you kept repeating, you can go to school but not at the expense of the business. i have a business to run, you said. well guess what? i have a life to run, too. and i can't believe that all this hard work i do for you means nothing. i can't believe you can't be considerate to my situation and to my /sacrifices/ (i gave up a promotion. you didn't give me a choice, i guess, but i accepted it and i still worked hard after i got over how butthurt i was that you basically cut my chances) and let me leave 15 mins earlier on two days. really. you can't do that for me?
• went out with raymond and alejandro to a gay club, much to alejandro's chagrin at the fact that we couldn't choose a straight club to go to. (when 2/3 of the group is gay, it seems like a no-brainer) he was afraid he'd be hit on lololol and funnily enough, he's the first one to get hit on LMAO followed by me and a guy pressing his dick to my butt I'm NOT JOKING tho ig it could have been smth else since i didn't turn around quick enough to look but rly. at least it was an exotic dancer so it was less creepy and more funny??? anyway it was suuuuuuper fun, lots of drinks and dancing skdjfsdl lots of gay guys lmao and some qt girls. got cosy with alejandro UNFORTCH but i couldn't help myself????? it's like idk i just like the attn, esp when he cleans up so well that he's actlly cute and not annoying as fuck lmao u__(\ i think that's it. u____u nothing else eventful sdkjfsdf
• RAW TONIGHTTTTT HELLA FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my throat is so sore from the weekend of drinking and today full of shouting. i screamed so loud and marked SO HARD FOR RYBAXEL!!!!!! they did their version of DX's signature pose, I COULDNT' HELP ITTTTTTTTT THEY WERE SO COOOOOL AHHHHHHHHH and ryback is vegas' kid, which i didn't know???? so he got such a huge pop from the crowd and so many fucking cheers and chants, literally the whole match was ryback chants and randy played into it and tagged him in when we started chanting WE WANT RYBACK it was sooooo coool and sfjkdsjfs ALSO MY BROTHER MET CHRIS FUCKING JERICHO?????????? I'M SO PISSED????????????? THAT OCULD HAVE BEEN MEEEEEEE WHY DO I HAVE TO WORK WHYYYYYY ughhhhhhhhhhhh he said chris was super chill and cool and thanked him for buying his album and coming to his fansigning i'm jusst so SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ofc he's chill as fuck I'M SO MAD WHY NOT ME but anyway i think i screamed the loudest for ryback and randy keke faves!!!!!!!! oh and steph and aj ofc hehehehehehe
• so i haven't written anything in here for a whileeeee and i really wanted to do the whole 'blog a day' shit but anyway. stuff that's happened: tumblr rp happened. it's not the greatest shit ever. it feels like most r/l's are superficial because of the /superficial interactions/ lmaoooo so it's not rly my cup of tea. andddd i'm also ON VACA HOLLA AT YO GIIIIRLLLLL and what else what else dfjdlkfsd omgggg my english class is so BALLA i love it!!!!! i feel like my professor really wants to help us and she gives us all this time to do shit and i'm not as dumb as i feared i would be!!! i'm still pretty spot-on when it comes to grammar and writing so talk about a relief!!! i've also got 2 mos before i can get out of my banking centre hehehehe and what else what else i'm in loooooove with dean fucking ambrose. a wrassler. he's amazzeballs!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh ok i'm done i think
• still LOVE THE SHIT OUTTA DEAN AMBROSE GOOD GOLLY GOOOOOSH!!!!!!! MY BABE!!!!!!!!! and ofc my family thinks my taste is disgusting, gross etc etc and let's see!! i'm on day 3 of vaca kekeke and i hope that my boss doesn't expect me back until monday because going in saturday is stupid tbh ???? but anyway i went out with my gay bestie raymond on friday for pride week and it was kinda a nightmare lmao. sooooo we went out to our normal gay haunt, and we took alejandro the only straight dude in our group HAHA i think he just likes the drinking and 0 judging for dancing or maybe the fact that dudes hit on him like craaaazy lololol but anyway, it was our 2nd time out as a trio and we were psyched beyond belief for the night. we danced at the club for an hour or so before raymond meets up with this guy he knows from who knows where and he leaves me alone to go canoodling with that guy. anyway, we eventually find him at a whole other bar across the street, and we go and meet up with his boy-toy. he buys us shots and then we all go to this gay mexican bar LMAO never heard of SUCH A THING but anywayyyy there's a drag show going on and there's apparently a drag queen champion or smth??? and for the first time ever, a mexican drag queen won and she was there to party with us at this club and put on a show so it was pretty awesome. and raymond's boytoy paid our entrance too lmao (and our breakfast after we left the club btw HAAA) so the show came on and then the dancefloor opened and that's when shit happened. so as soon as alejandro leaves, a guy approaches me. i see him coming too, which is the fucking crazy part, right? and he just has this look like idek fucking predator status. he grabs my arm before i can think twice and starts tugging me toward him, just straight up his grip on my arm hurts and i don't know what to do but try and yank my arm back. the girl we're with (she's a faux-queen), she tells me he's the club owner and that he's harmless, so just dance with him. i'm so fucking embarrassed to admit i was peer-pressured into it because he's like fucking 40 or some shit and he finally pulled me close and istg and started humping me. i'm just /god/ i couldn't rip myself away fast enough. and when i finally did, i noticed he made the rounds around the room, going to other girls so it made me feel less disgusting lmao anyway, we finally made our way out and to a taco stand outside. our faux queen was eating while we waited for her and suddenly he's back again. he comes up to our table and starts singling each person out with a gay/straight verdict "you're gay you're gay you're gay" and then he finally gets to me and he's like "not gay, you're straight". i've never said no so fucking quick, "i'm gay" and my friend chimes in with yep she likes the pussy. he laughs and he's still eyeing in this super fucking disgusting way, looking at my chest like jfc i can't, dirty ass fucking perv and he says "you just need to give my dick a chance. i'll fuck the gay out of you." and i actlly say NO FUCKING THANKS LMAOOOOO "no thanks?? what do you mean no thanks, you don't want my dick? i'll leave your lips purple after i'm done with you. i'll fuck you" and he starts humping the table our food is on just so. fucking. done. fuck everything. i've never wanted to die more than in that moment. i feel so fucking ashamed and embarrassed and i just wanted it to be over and find a fucking ditch to die in and never see anyone ever again. and my friends said nothing. and i think it pisses me off because ///i/// said nothing, you know? why couldn't i speak? why couldn't i just flip him the bird and tell him to fuck off?? why why why
• in other news, wrestling rp is kinda making wrestling this thing i don't like as much and i hate that. why am i too fucking stubborn to quit stupid shit that bugs me?
• so i got back from vacation and i really enjoyed my long ass vacation. i got a tattoo of the elephant being digested by the snake in le petit prince, and it was both impulsive and something i've wanted for a loooong time so. everyone says it looks qt and i hope it does. it's fun to tell the story every time someone asks huhu. anyway, i got back to work and i guess i was hella refreshed or smth because one afternoon, my boss is like "we should give you a vaca every other week, you're mood is just lovely" and i'm like lol ok..... all i did was sing out "who dat who dat" because he was asking about a cashbox lmao u________(\ like i'm not some crazy bitter betty ok. but i did feel pretty good being back @ work and looking forward to fucking october because FUCK YEAH ONE MORE MOOOOONTH and then i can fucking dip out and try and get that promotion. truthfully tho, i know that it's going to be super hard because i'm currently working my ass off @ school so i don't know how realistically i can juggle a new job position but maaaan, i really hope this works out for me so so so bad. even tho i'm not really doing much to make it happen as far as my #s go :( can you believe i've been slacking??? i have.... fuck, this sucks. but i can bounce back and i can make shit happen here with work and stuff. gooood just gotta get that drive back!!!!!!!!! i can do it. alex, don't give up. my supervisor, kim... man another bitter note. so she speaks spanish pretty fluently, and now, she's been telling our customers that she doesn't speak spanish, so all spanish speaking customers, she redirects to me. it's pissing me the fuck off. now, don't get me wrong.. i don't mind taking them, but it bugs me that she flat-out denies speaking spanish and just sorta shoves them in my direction like she can't even be bothered. it's fucking childish as fuck and it's not professional behaviour and it's petty as all get out so fucking put on your big woman pants and stop being such a fucking douchebag. like seriously????? why do you feel the need to do that? what about them annoys you so much? god, it's so /offensive/ honestly. i hate it.
• there's this position available that i know i'm ridiculously NOT qualified for, but i want to try it. the only issue is that my coworker does, too. actually.. SHE was the one that told me about it. i feel like i'm gonna burn her if i try to apply for that position. not to mention that she's ridiculously more qualified than i am so she'd be an easy shoe-in over me. the only deciding factor is interviewing and how well i can manage that IF they were to even try and consider me. i can't stop worrying over whether i'm doing the right thing or not here. i can't stop worrying over how this will affect everyone around me and whether or not it's worth it even trying. because what if she finds out??? what will i do if she finds out and i've burned a bridge there? is it worth it to step on her toes when it's a looooong ass shot anyway? my brother says my problem is that i worry too much about people that don't give a shit about me. but i just don't want to be this person.. idk. this bad person. but it's not fair. if she gets to move up the corporate ladder when she's only been here six months and i was forced to stay, that's not fair. the only thing holding her back is me, and she thought of getting me to take her role and she could be free to move up. but i don't want to stay in this banking centre anymore. i'd still be a promotion though, so why can't i just be satisfied with that? am i doing the right thing here???? am i? why can't i just be as ruthless as she is and fuck everyone there?