• the in-between of summer and fall
• my dog, bandit
• waking up before the sun, making coffee, watching the sunrise
• riding horses
• picnics
• sun on skin
• swedish fish
• playing guitar / singing late at night
• dancing to old vinyls
• my reptiles and bird
• pomegranates and figs
• the moon and stars
• peppermint matchas in the winter
• ice skating at joan kroc
• finding new music
• sharing headphones with a friend
• mountain trips
• my grandma and grandpa
• baby farm animals

once, we were grilling zucchini from the garden. it was summertime.

and I was about to leave you.

a praying mantis landed on the grill He was bright and beautiful even as he fizzled and I burned all my fingertips trying to save him.

You cant tell when an insect is in pain but he must have been and you put him in the grass so softly

where I found and stomped him.

And I think it surprised us what we each defined as mercy.

there's coffee and cinnamon buns on the table, all the ranch hands cowboy boots by the door.

the sky i do my chores under is orange and blue and the smell of tobacco on the thick corduroy jacket i borrow is stronger than the thoughts I have of him today.

i take my break, the day has gotten hot so i lay by the creek, in the bentgrass. some of the others join, always starting a philosophical conversation.

i'm asked why i reject the good hearted men i do if i am single and want a good relationship. i laugh, "i'm waiting for someone i love"

they tell me a cowgirl never waits. I tell them a cowgirl stays true.

the silence is near deafening, if it wasn't for the bullfrogs singing. teo lights an American spirit. i take a swig from my flask.

"is he waiting for you?" I grab teo's cig...

• compliment more
• make jewelry
• learn a new language
• take more photos
• watch more documentaries/read
• practice makeup skills and different styles
• law of affirmation
• start a blog
• write essays on whatever you're interested in
• make new playlists / update old ones
• workout/stretch/go for a walk
• talk to yourself with kindness
• update wardrobe
• try new coffee shops
• decorate / rearrange room
• journal journal journal
• manifest / visualize
• reach out to friends more often (battle that new social anxiety)