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16. Scottish & South African. Gay as a daffodil. Corporation-hating commie with a vendetta against the rich. I love Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé!

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  • Not only do I work for a meagre wage, but my boss is a callous and exploitative scrotum who singles me out for abuse.
  • I'm absolutely OBSESSED with Nicki Minaj. She inspires so much self-confidence in me and, contrary to what the unoriginal pissholes who despise her say, she's really talented and gifted. Those record sales don't lie!
  • I volunteer at my local foodbank, and even though I LOVE meeting new people and hearing their stories, it's hard seeing the corrosive effect poverty/sanctions has on their dignity. It makes me unbelievably sad and angry.
  • Apparently, I'm good at telling stories. People have told me that my accents, hand gestures, voice tones and presence are perfect and make a wee tale so much funnier.
  • I find stupid things absolutely hilarious, like people falling over (just harmless slips, not actual injuries) and accidentally opening front camera.
  • I was born in South Africa but haven't spent a substantial amount of time there, minus a few holidays. I've spent 95% of my life in Scotland (which I love and wouldn't change).
  • People assume I'm intelligent (and I am, in some subjects) but I'm generally quite goofy and dim.
  • I'm a really awkward person. I always embarrass myself.
  • When I saw BeyoncĂ© in Glasgow I screamed myself hoarse and absolutely savaged my voicebox. I ended up visiting the doctor a few days later because my larynx was on fire.
  • I identify as Christian, but I'm not a bible-bashing intolerant dickhole. As a matter of fact, I'm just a gay, pro-choice, pro-feminist universalist who thinks Jesus is great.
  • I love discussing politics, as literally everybody who knows me will testify. I think people's views are so interesting. My hatred of labels means I'm not sure how I'd politically describe myself, but everyone calls me a communist, ha. Which may be true. I fucking hate rich people and capitalism is so infuriatingly unjust. If that makes me a Red, so be it!
  • I'm gay. I came out expecting it to be an earth-shattering revelation and surprise, but the standard response I got was ''well DUH!'' -- which is funny, but weird at the same time.
  • I want to travel so badly. I've been to a few exotic locations, namely Cuba and South Africa, but my ultimate ambition is to backpack around Latin America and follow in Ernesto ''Che'' Guevara's footsteps. I love that man!
  • I'm addicted to caffeine. The number of coffees and Red Bulls I have per week is astounding, and won't bade well for my soon-to-be-shrivelling up kidneys in the future.
  • I'm grey and monolingual. Besides basic ingrained French and Afrikaans, I only speak English. I'd love to learn a foreign language one day (esp. one that doesn't use a Latin alphabet, like Greek or Chinese) but sadly I don't have the time or dedication to knuckle down and do so.
  • My favourite alcoholic beverage is vodka and red bull, although these days I'm developing a taste for beer.
aug 24 2015 ∞
jan 3 2016 +