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16. Scottish & South African. Gay as a daffodil. Corporation-hating commie with a vendetta against the rich. I love Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé!

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  • I want to be cremated. The thought of being sealed in a box underground for eternity worries me as a claustrophobic person.
    • I'd also like to donate my organs and whatnot to medical research.
  • I'd like to be clutching a copy of I Am... Sasha Fierce as I'm being cremated. I also want a plane ticket, because that implies that I'm off on a journey.
  • I don't mind where my ashes are scattered, so long as its pretty. My preferred place would be a little secluded waterfall and stream at my auntie's farm.
  • I'd like a Catholic ceremony, but it CANNOT be too dominated by the holiness and pomp. I'm a heretic and blasphemer myself so it wouldn't feel appropriate.
  • Guests can't wear black (unless they *really* want to). I don't like the negative connotations with it and would much rather see the guests wearing rainbow colours. They're lively, happiness-inducing colours and take away from the sadness and stuffiness of usual funerals. I want my funeral to be FUN, and a celebration of my life — not solemn!
  • I'd like Love The Way You Lie by Eminem ft. Rihanna played as I'm sliding into the incinerator. It's kinda relevant.
  • Other songs I'd like played include:
    • Crazy in Love — Beyoncé ft Jay-Z
    • Anaconda — Nicki Minaj
    • She Wolf — Shakira
    • On The Floor — Jennifer Lopez ft. Pitbull
    • Umbrella — Rihanna ft. Jay-Z
  • I would like pancakes, chocolate cookies and ice cream served afterwards. Thirst quenchers on offer would include Red Bull, Blue WKD and Buckfast. I want my guests pished.
may 28 2015 ∞
sep 5 2015 +