• Today, I was walking down the hall alone and looked up to see my old teacher. I was just about to say hi when he flipped me off and said, "no one will believe you." New favorite teacher? I think so. MLIA
  • Last week, I was out driving with my mom and we saw a bumper sticker which had a lot of tiny little black type on a white background. Neither of us could figure out what it said until we pulled up beside that car at a red light. It said, in Latin, "If you can read this, you are both overeducated and much too close." MLIA
  • Today, I was drinking ginger ale and I noticed that on the can, it said "made with real ginger." Being a ginger myself, I was scared for a few seconds. MLIA
  • Today, I realized that my period was over a week late. I got rather scared until I remembered I'm a virgin. MLIA
  • Today, in English class, my teacher was going through a bunch of words, including the word motto. I jokingly asked: "What's a motto?" The quiet kid in class said: "Nothing, what's the motto with you?" It's always the quiet kids. MLIA
  • Today I was on MSN, and my crush signed in. Trying to get him to talk him to me, I signed out, then signed back in. He then did the same thing.. this went on for a while.. until he started a conversation with 'I know you want me..' MLIA.
  • Today, I decided to watch the streets of New York from a high balcony. I saw a woman drop her purse and a man picked it up and gave it back to her. The woman proceeded to walk and helped an old lady through a large crowd. The old lady then gave some change to a homeless person. Happiness really DOES run in a circular motion. MLIA
  • I was eating milk duds today in the little packs. Usually, I get four but I only got three this time. I got so angry and called "The Hershey Company" on the back of the box. I complained to them and they asked for my name and address, town, phone number and zip code. Only a few days later I received a box filled with styrofoam. After going through it for about a minute, I found one lonely milk dud at the bottom. MLIA.
  • I attend Miami University. I never really wanted to go there. Today I found out that my school has a quidditch team. The players run around with brooms between their legs, throwing quaffles, and try to catch the cross country runner dressed in yellow. I now desperately want to be the snitch. MLIA.
  • Today i was at the hospital being wheeled out after my surgery and we were waiting for my step-dad to bring the car around. all of the sudden, i hear someone yelling at the top of their lungs, "that does not please me!" Who is it? A 3-year-old boy yelling at his mom when she tells him to walk on the sidewalk. MLIA.
  • Today I was at a grocery store with my girlfriends and I went to find the bathroom. The girls one was full, so I went in the guys bathroom. Right as I came out, my crush walked out of the girls bathroom... we are so made for each other. MLIA.
  • Today I received a phone-call from a tele-marketer, asking if I was interested in buying genuine Persian carpets. I couldnt think of a decent excuse so I said, "sorry! I'm a vegetarian!" the lady on the phone said. "Oh I fully understand." and hung up. MLIA
  • Today I couldn't remember a word but I knew the definition. I wish there was a backwards dictionary. MLIA.
  • At a school assembly, the younger kids came to my middle school. These 3 second graders sat behind me and my friends. I turned around and said "hi". One of them told me he was a tater tot. Another one told me that "old guy doing the presentation" was going to die. 10 minutes later, he fainted. MLIA.
  • Today, my toaster strudle popped out of my toaster. What did I do? I opened the microwave. MLIA.
  • Today I was riding in a van and my alarm went off. I didn’t remember setting my alarm and spent 5 minutes trying to turn it off. Then I woke up. MLIA
feb 10 2010 ∞
jul 18 2010 +