- My New Year's kiss. It's lovely to have somebody around I can kiss whenever I want. Listening to a weird Siberian song at midnight. It's been stuck in our heads for days now.
- Going on a long walk on the first day of the year. Findus the cat kept following us. Frozen ponds with interesting air bubbles and plant patterns. Ice crystals on every twig and leaf of grass. Crunchy steps. Breaking the ice. Literally.
- Cuddling with Mara. Reading a book together in bed. Making her a cute ponytail.
- Starting the year with a health food challenge. No sugar, no flour, low carb. And I don't even have to do it alone which helps a lot!
- Eating big bowls of salad with delicious dill dressing.
- Watching The Substance - Body Horror at its best.
- A fun way to think about relationship dynamics.
- Slow days playing board games, watching animal documentaries, coming up with tasty low carb recipes, painting and drawing together, doing housework. Simply existing together in this little domestic bubble.
- Solo cuddle time with Findus. Sinking my face into his belly fur.
- Greek yoghurt with milk and fruit for breakfast. Almost tastes like ice-cream.
- Lazy TV massages. / Another amazing massage from Ploy.
- Spooking a few deer on our snowy forest stroll.
- Watching birds trying to fly in heavy wind.
- Tinned mushrooms as a low calorie snack.
- Long, trippy dreams.
- Nightly painting sessions listening to the Cosmic Matrix podcast.
- Petting, scratching, cuddling Thea. Such a gentle little black cat. She was really into it that evening.
- Bringing two whole containers worth of snacks on the train. Eggs, olives, cheese, veggies, apples.
- Two nights at a hotel in Würzburg. The crisp white sheets.
- Mushroom burgers and a cute art store.
- Playing the piano with Georg.
- Standing at a laptop in the living room at Claude's party. Adding songs from 20 years ago to the queue. Singing along to Such Great Heights by The Postal Service. C. remarked what a beautiful song it is. I feel down a 2000s Indie Rock rabbit hole and made a whole playlist on Spotify. How great is Staring at the Sun by TV on the Radio?!
- Ripping apart my sudoku book because I was too obsessed.
- Buying a bunch of Sennelier soft pastels and pastel crayons at Gerstaecker. Getting new paper, too.
- Discovering Agnes Lawrence Pelton's art and the Transcendental Painting Group. I ordered a gorgeous book about the painters but it's not available yet. I'll have to wait up to three months for it to arrive...
- Those little moments when I feel seen. Appreciated. Cared for. When C. commented on the amazing smell of my lavender marjoram hand cream and wanted to try some. When he noticed that my lipstick didn't really match the colour of my shirt. And when he ran my finger over a little naked patch of skin on my love handle and said he'd discovered a nice spot. When he carried my backpack because my shoulder hurt. Checked if I was keeping up when we were running for the train. And he already thought about ways to check in at the hotel without my involvement because he knows I hate that. And he added a song I played to his favourites. And kissed me at the bookstore because apparently I looked very intellectual which made me even more attractive.
- Signing up for the info event at the art academy. Thinking about applying for visual arts, too.
- Cutting train rides very short by sleeping most of the way.
- Meeting Franzi and Marie! A cozy evening with a crazy cat, Indian food and easy conversation. I love it when people just get each other and still feel super close and familiar even though you don't see them very often.
- Getting to know Anja. Being weird together. Coffee walks in the morning. Watching rom-coms in bed, singing along to Britney Spears songs.
- The warm shower of compliments at the end of my Gestalt therapy training. I learned that what people admire about me is my humor, authenticity, intelligence, strength, wisdom, creativity, my voice. I know who I am. And many said they wish I could be a little more calm, relaxed and self-assured. Focus more. Tone down the drama and the fireworks and let my fragile, soft essence shine through as well.
- Squeezing fresh lime over veggie curry. It adds so much flavor!
- Peeling off the whole face mask in one piece.
- Little signs along the way. The same drawing I'd made the day before on a house in a village I was driving through. Angel numbers. 222 everywhere.
- Such a cozy and crazy last evening with C. We played a sexy card game and ended up roleplaying (I was a massage therapist in a senior home). Then I was reading from his 2009 US roadtrip diary while he showed my some photos from back then. It was so interesting to see that some things haven't changed: he's still passionate about music and DJing and still has interesting (business) ideas and conversation topics.
- Dota - Für die Sterne / "Ich bin nicht hier um mich zu bemühn, ich bin hier um zu blühn."
- A very active Friday. My first Nordic Walking unit (I meowed at a cat and it immediately came to me to be petted!), the first time in the gym for a while. And a yoga class. Felt surprisingly good.
- Meeting a bunch of new people at the clinic. Feeling much more secure and open. This time it only took one day to fully arrive.
- Music night with clarinet and guitar. Singing harmonies with Sebastian! Compliments for my voice.
- Coffee and cheese as a treat.
- Hot pink loafers. Soft and comfy.
- Blooming tulips.
- The joy I feel when I spot an animal somewhere.
- People opening up to me. It's nice to see that they feel safe with me and value my observations and input.
- Sending lots of letters and postcards.
- The Diva Dance scene in the movie The Fifth Element.
- Painting something I hated at first but loved in the end.
- Another go at art therapy. I have a good feeling about the therapist!
- Lena talking to me about all her creative endeavors. Breaking the ice.
- Being helpful for others. Mirroring them, explaining, offering resonance.
- Talking to W. about my way out. Which is: taking on a tapas. Self-accountability. Being honest and calm. Using my time with him to stop functioning so I can observe myself and heal.
- A 45min walk despite the wet snow and cold wind. Feeling my body tingle and warm up afterwards. Also: when I came back I found a collection of old rusty puzzle cubes on an electrical box.
- Caressing the bony part over my ankles.
- Floor heating.
- Watching the cranes flying over the lake illuminated by the warm light of sunrise.
- Unlike mammals, birds breathe through continuous one-directional flow of air through the respiratory system. We take air in and breathe it out, sort of like the tide moves in and out of a bay. As a result, our breathing system is said to be tidal. Avians have a non-tidal respiratory system, with air flowing more like a running stream. (I didn't know!)
- A beautiful sound bath with lots of crystal singing bowls and tuning forks that made my brain tickle.
- A feast of damn fine veggies with tofu and nougat-filled dumplings. Celebrating every bite. Allowing myself to eat.
- Boxing training. I loved the activation, aggression, using my whole body and strength. The psychological effects of having a partner (or opponent). But my whole body hurt the next day.
- A few lines towards the end of Marianne Eloise's book obsessive intrusive magical thinking made me feel seen. A little mentally ill, too. But they made me think of my exiles. The parts of me I abandoned. And how I used to be as a child.
- Painting an unexpected family portrait.
- Starting to read a book about... soul travel. Trippy and fascinating.
- A long, heartfelt message from Becky. And a thoughtful gift from my Gospel Choir: a sketchbook, a set of pencils, a novel (with the number 22 in the title!!) and some chocolates. I feel loved.
- Dancing like nobody is watching. And even though I'd felt like shit all day it actually brought my energy back. And someone said the thought I had a really good feeling for my body and movements. And a lovely voice.
jan 2 2025 ∞
jan 31 2025 +