- Singing at Sarah's wedding. I got to drive Peter's car back and forth. We had a lot of fun during the ride talking, singing and engaging in friendly banter. It was a gorgeous day to walk through the Nymphenburg castle grounds. Sarah was visibly moved when we sang the song she had written herself as a surprise. On a more self-centered note: I felt very confident, had fun singing and thought we all looked cute in the photos.
- The psychologist Heidi Keller on Eigensinn.
- The milk dancing around like sinister storm clouds when poured into a cup of fresh coffee.
- Baking Bergsteigerbrot (trying to use up all my nuts and dates) and zucchini cake. Nostalgia recipes.
- Finding Danika as my subtenant. I had a good feeling about her as she was the only one I would have liked to become friends with and it seems as if I made the right decision!
- Peter trying to fix my bike pedals, spontaneously asking me to come over.
- Making a birthday video for Doris, even blowing out the candles on her cake and singing, when had to stay home with Covid on her birthday.
- Finding the best raw food bars at Rossmann.
- Pub quiz, meeting Ina from Margit's DnD group. Nerding with Raphael, quizzing each other on foreign languages and alphabets.
- Warm breakfast. Verival porridge or, the royal treat, runny eggs and avocado on English muffins, summer tomatoes. Nigella seeds and toasted sesame.
- Reading a book about inner-child-work. I used to belittle the concept and didn't think it had its place in "proper" psychology but I've come to terms with the fact that it might actually be an issue I should have a closer look at as it definitely affects me personally. The difference between weakness and gentleness, the Ego and the Higher Self - it all makes so much sense.
- Visiting Kathrin's choir concert with some of my friends from my own choir - mostly older, some seniors (which is why taking the subway together was an adventure but I started a little harmonizing exercise on the escalator and everyone sang along!) It was lovely listening to their interpretation of some truly fantastic choir pieces. Beer afterwards. I liked the friendly gossip but didn't care much for evaluating and criticising every last decision the choir had made like including lots of solo parts for example.
- Appreciation for my own mother when Andrea started questioning my every decision before the concert (are you sure you don't wanna change / don't you want to bring a jacket and lock the door / no you can't throw away these bottles, we can reuse them / ...) AND realising how far I've already come when I stopped myself from just taking on all her rushing anxiety and managed to keep my mental distance. Was THAT an emotional boundary? Did I actually find one? What a great lesson. If feel like I'm making progress in terms of self-worth too, because I've been feeling proud of myself in the last weeks whenever I noticed how much more considerate and sensible I acted compared to my usual approach. I'm slowly becoming the person I want to be which is a great feeling. However, I guess I still have the need to prove something through excellence and peculiarity - my right to exist. It's hard to accept that I'm okay just as I am, even when I'm not doing anything, not playing any role, just being me.
- Practising Viva La Vida and Caresse sur l'océan at my kitchen table one Saturday morning. Getting all emotional because these songs just WORK. The Coldplay song is perfect for my vocal pitch and I'm dying to perform it on karaoke night. I've also grown more comfortable with hearing my own voice. It's actually a rather pleasant one if I do say so myself.
- Talking to my students about Pride Month and LGBTQI issues because I was honestly interested in their opinion and their reasons for having a, let's call it... controversional, point of view. I hope I managed to make clear how I respect everyone's opinion and feelings but don't want them to discriminate against anyone for whatever reason. It's funny how different it is to discuss something with my students in German since I'm only really used to my ESL classroom and the language barrier really does inhibit some to express themselves freely I suppose.
- An internet deep dive inspired by reading Yerba Buena: Creole language.
- Raphael visiting me at school for the first time. Indian dinner outside. Talking about going sailing soon. He seems to be warming up to me again. I love that.
- Talking on the phone with Sash. Her photos of her cute new short haircut and the rainbow glitter hair accessories.
- Finishing my mosaic project despite all the stress and pressure. Or maybe because of that. Balance is key.
- Playing SingStar with my class. Painting the classroom walls. I loved how I subtly forced Ivano to become a post-modern artist.
- The weekend Doris and I went to LA to visit my mum and transport a few moving boxes. Making friendly fun of mum for getting our numerology wrong. Trying to fix our clarinet. Dinner at the Mexican beergarden, ice-cream with roasted almonds and Yogurette. Walking along the river and over the graveyard. Badminton, pumping water, stealing redcurrant from the neighbour. Meowing at cats. Watching the final episode of Killing Eve in the middle of the night because we couldn't sleep. Doris looking like a burrito baby, wrapped in a white blanket. I woke up hardly able to walk because I'd pulled a muscle but we still got on with our day and it got better. Playing the piano, getting the Music and Lyrics song stuck in our heads for days. The local bakery. Spending the morning at the best fleamarket I know. I bought mirabelles, tomatoes and zucchini from an old Russian lady. A bathrobe, a kimono and a dress. Then we got milkshakes and went back to Munich for the CSD parade. It was really hot but a lot of fun and later we ran into Chickie and Luca, had iced coffees in a patio cafe. Doris and I went to Lake Starnberg for a swim (okay, mainly me clinging onto her for warmth most of the time, teeth chattering, taking in the Alpine panorama during golden hour). Dinner at one of my feelgood restaurants in the area. Kisses during sunset. Choosing my bed over CSD-clubbing was a regrettable decision but we just didn't have enough energy left.
- How great the student's linocuts turned out. Putting them all next to each other is very photogenic.
- Ich bin ich und du bist du / wenn ich rede, hörst du zu / Wenn du sprichst, dann bin ich still / weil ich dich verstehen will. Aya, my chattiest student, taught me this little poem.
- Opening my old ear piercing. Getting a labret stud at Tollwood.
- Finishing the papier mâché trash bin covers. The dinosaur is my favourite.
- Sorting all the glass beads by colour. I love making rainbows.
- Doing the partner track at the forest ropes course with Ella. Overcoming fear, again. Just doing it, really. Walking through the woods with the kids who acted like they'd never walked off the beaten path before.
- Raphael picking me up from physio. Sharing a giant tropical ice-cream sundae with lots of whipped cream and fruit. Walking through the English Garden trying to memorise facts about the 80s.
- All the people I met through Raphael's contacts when they visited me at school to get some tools and furniture. Ralf from Kleines Spiel, Stefan the ceramics artist, Armin and Dietmar from Rationaltheater. I actually visited the latter at their theatre and enjoyed myself very much surrounded by an old American jukebox, excellent pianists and barkeepers (Espresso Martini!).
- The pottery class I took with the gang. Actually getting the hang of it, suddenly just feeling how to pull up the clay. Experiencing a state of flow, especially finalising and perfecting the semi-hard pieces in the end. The studio was in the middle of nowhere and I loved the old farmhouse. Learning about marbled clay hand-dyed with mixed-in pigments. Eating together in the evenings, going for a walk during a very dramatic sunset. Taking my author portrait with stolen literature. Harrassing some cats. Becoming a sheepish cult leader for a minute. The eerie area around the mill, all the lovely flowers. A long swim in the lake, reaching the island, playing around with Sash and Yanch in the water.
- The fact that we were able to find a way to keep the kilm. I actually have my own kilm now, how incredible is that? And all the boxes of art supplies and tools that are sitting in my basement now, waiting for me to organise a workshop or studio. I also got old textile maps and wall charts, lots of wooden drawers and kept my favourite roll car. Abundance. I could start screenprinting now, batik or woodcarving!
- Doris. I'm so grateful for her support. I don't even know how to pay her back, I'm deeply in her debt.
- My choir's summer party. New people to talk to, downing a bottle of red with Peter (of course we kept the neighbours up talking until late in front of his house), DJ-ing, breaking into song. I love when that happens, it's such a new experience for me to spend time with people who love singing and aren't shy about it. Wolfgang, charming as ever - I love that dude - wishing for Petit Bonheur (and I realised I knew it as the pony song from TikTok).
- Kevin sneaking into my classroom, subtly forcing me to take him on as my assistant. Which I did. So we spent one last hour working together, packing boxes. I'm gonna miss my little man.
- Doris helped me get a lot of stuff home and I was sad about missing the goodbye party at school (Jonathan seemed really sad that I wasn't staying for a drink and I got a bad conscience). So she forced me to take a shower and actually took me back there which was a really good decision. The ouzo made waking up the next morning quite painful but I was the DJ for most of the night and had a lot of fun with Laura, Jonathan, Becky and Schrobo; we even played around in the gym and got out the hula hoops, pedalos and bicycles.
- Flowers, tears and confusion on my last day at the school. Schrobo and Zenki cried when they tried to say a few words of goodbye which made me emotional too. Jonathan thanked me very sincerely and gave me a bunch of sunflowers. I realised that a lot of things came to an end that day - my time at that school, working together with friends. Turning point.
- An article about Hattie Geenen, the female caption of Greenpeace's Rainbow Warrior III.
- Chocolate milk. Tastes like overnight school trips and staying in youth hostels.
jul 1 2022 ∞
aug 3 2022 +