- A lovely evening with a few Burners at Kanako's new place. I loved the unreal garden with all the old bird houses and huge hemp plants. And her marbled wallpaper circle in the kitchen. I connected with Alex&Alex, Uli and Anna-Maria. Afterwards I went to Filzhof and spent a lovely evening with C.
- Sunday was even nicer. In a long conversation about our issues, C. recommended project-based thinking for me to override my tendency to search for "the one and only", the perfect thing for me I want to keep doing forever. It really helped me.
- I made a delicious curry in the new wok that C. gave me for my birthday.
- A bountiful mushroom harvest.
- Juicing every. Single. Morning. I love getting all the nutrients in that way! And I'm thinking about buying a slow juicer. Right now I'm using C.'s regular one and it gets the job done quickly but it's also loud and I don't think it's able to crack open the plant cells properly. I'll have to do some research.
- However, I suddenly manage to eat an 80% vegan, sugar-free-ish diet and avoid processed food, especially carbs. Hardly any coffee. The other day I bit into a milk chocolate bar and had to spit it out immediately because my body activelty resisted it. What a miraculous change.
- Starting an activity log. Trying to get some movement in every day. I started swimming and biking more often and meditated daily for a while. Why is this so hard to keep up?
- Reading more. Discovering Unica Zürn (one of K. Schleinkofer's quotes for me was taken from her poetry).
- The neighbours' lush raspberry bushes. Unfortunately they've put up a fence around them. My alternative: buying blackberries. They remind me of the summer holidays since we had a hedge in our garden and the berries would start to ripen in late summer.
- An amazing back crack in yoga class when I was slowly coming out of plough pose. The other day I felt little currents in my back during an asana and was reminded of Bastien's healing story. Interesting.
- Podcasts: Academy of Ideas and metaphysical gravity.
- New lamps: one with marble and one with heavy glass and wood. Expensive but so worth it.
- The sunlight hitting the structured surface of the paper I was writing on. Like a tiny shadow landscape.
- Using essential oils before sitting down for meditation. I've enjoyed the Joe Dispenza morning/evening meditations recently.
- Finding two issues of Visionen magazine on my way to school one morning.
- An emotional flash of memories triggered by the smell of a candy wristband.
- Picking up Katharina on a rainy Saturday afternoon. Getting a tour of her apartment. Noticing that a squirrel was sleeping in the bird house on her balcony! A lovely conversation during the drive to Filzhof. Realizing that she was the one who had the idea that C. and I might be good together. Baking a cake with her.
- Sunday coworking with C., unearthing old flash games (but I paid the price for that because it reactivated my addiction to Blooming Gardens - it kept me from doing my work for the two following weeks); cooking for him (delicious coconut curry). Romantic: watching the the thunderstorm together loving, coco curry, Susi und strolch moment mit chips
- The vintage furniture showroom on my way to school.
- Dinner with Becky. Relating so much, as usual.
- Thinking about C.G.Jung's musings on synchronicity and the anecdote of the scarab hitting his window pane while his patient was talking about the one she'd seen in her dream. That week I found a lot of these rose chafer beetles around my apartment and even drew one in my journal. The best part: giving it a shiny shell by applying some metallic green and gold eyeshadow on the paper.
- Attending the opening of Karl Schleinkofer's exhibition at Odeonsplatz. I met Benni, Steffi and Lisa (who I haven't seen in a decade). Even our old professor Mr. Glas showed up and was so happy to see us. I remembered how eerily quiet Karl is. But I was really inspired by his work and texts and even got one of his catalogues to take home. Interesting: I discovered that the art market seems like a parallel world to me. I know it exists but I don't know my way around it. But found it so interesting to see the gallery, right next to Sotheby's for all that matters. I'd love to attend an art auction one day. AND learned that there is going to be a fantastic exhibition on Surrealism at Centre Pompidou in September. Weekend trip!
- I've been journalling so much lately. Scrapbooking, really. Cutting up Sotheby's catalogues. It's like my little art collection.
- Buying slender, pointy cutlery. I love using it.
- Paying compliments to others. You're really lifting up your own mood, too!
- Eating outside without any distraction.
- Big salads, seed bread with roasted onions, bananas with sea salt and Monki tahin.
- Swimming to de-stress. Even taking a scooter to the bath to get into the water sooner. Using my new apple shampoo; showering as long as I want to. Using all the water without shame. Noticing that I don't have issues with showering naked in public anymore.
- Introducing the will-future by showing up as Madame Esmeralda again. My students had fun reading each other's fortunes!
- The new gym near my house has planted wild flowers around the building instead of boring grass!
- Erfurt: the guy who came after me with the water bottle I'd forgotten on the train - and the man who told the cashier I'd been there first!
- Meeting a bunch of friends from my Hero's Journey seminar in Jena. Making a big batch of curry for everyone. At first it was a little weird but we got close to each other again in no time. I loved squeezing into the carousel on the playground together. A massage from Iko and Ludwig holding me through the Birds&Bees exercise. I was so lucky to get into a group with Simon and Ralf in the evening - we were so loving and playful with each other. The next day, I had a good conversation with Henrike (about my esoteric tendencies and that she thinks the world will change soon). And I found a great vintage colouring book on my way to the train station!
- Making two designs for the Micro Burn wristbands on the train. I actually liked them.
- Letting C. pick me up from the train station. Not going home that night.
- An interesting research session with Ash. She threw in a little Q&A with her spirit guides and apparently my mum had a lot to say...
- Babysitting Lian: going swimming together, playing in the water; grocery shopping, making pancakes for him. Chasing a hedgehog in the morning.
- Making a project book for C.' Writing some heartfelt quotes on the first page.
- Having some profound insights. Using therapy to sum them up and gain clarity (my therapist agreed with all of my observations and conclusions). It feels like I'm becoming someone new: more aligned with my essence. Closer to my true self. Getting to know myself better, finding out who I truly am on the inside. / I felt so emotional for hours after my last Somatic Experiencing and Craniosacral session with Elena. I felt sadness and cried on my way home, but also gratitude: for all the good things in my life, for C. (who is so good for my emotions, body, soul - not that stimulating for my mind, perhaps; but that's ok - my mind is my strength, I can take care of that myself). Something is shifting. I can honour the process I'm in. / I'm also slowly coming to terms with my changing friendships. I'm not trying to force it anymore. I like the van analogy I heard about a few days ago: that you're driving a van and some people move to the backseat after a while. They're still inside but you'll want someone new and more aligned with you on the passenger seat.
- A beautiful drive to Midsomar Festival, listening to Marie's playlist. Attending the WUT collective workshops - realising I have something to say, and it's usually even thoughtful or funny; and that my superpower is critical thinking - I'll always find the error in a system. Talking to Kathi, Marah and Julia. About polyamory, our own tendencies, communal living. More: the cheeky cat logo of a beverage brand. And the DJ who played an awesome Sledgehammer remix.
- Tanja's birthday party. Putting glitter on people's third eyes. Talking to Anneliese, the farmer who lives next door. The kids' fantastic soap bubble gun. Dancing. Putting my head on C.'s lap when I got tired. He even removed my hair clips for me.
- Apnoe diving training with Uli. Meditating together during sunset. My makeshift weight belt. Working on this year's Playspace Bingo together. Long hugs.
- My students writing naughty romance stories for me.
- Learning about my birth tarot cards: Beyond Illusion/Judgement, and Inner Voice/High Priestess.
- The Sing and Connect event with the Gospel'n'Soul choir. I was so emotional and started crying when they sang Lift Up Your Voices. C. was there for me. We watched the heavy thunderstorms from the car right before the rain hit. Cozy.
- Watching Midsommar with C. I loved how open he was about being a little afraid when watching horror movies.
- Finally selling my last pair of DocMartens boots.
- Getting the intern to teach my English class. Mentoring her a little.
- Picking up feathers everywhere I go.
- Naps, resting. Lying under sun-warmed blanket.
- A little love note from C. telling me that despite his crazy days at Fusion he sometimes thinks of me, smiles, and is looking forward to seeing me!
- Wearing a red dress. Really feeling this colour right now. I've been happy with my outfits in general in the last few days: an apple green, short-sleeved sweater with my patterned black and white palazzo pants, wearing my mushroom dad shirt: and the manta ray blouse from Mexico with a relaxed blazer.
- Eating pistachio ice-cream with Lena during her lunch break. Her late birthday gift for me: a copy of Girl, Interrupted and a gift voucher for the Munich Readery.
- Observing my perfectionism and reactivity. Journalling about it.
- Going to school by car to avoid taking subway (it's becoming harder and harder for me).
- Writing the solutions for the Art exams. Actually having fun with it. But also: Getting it over with.
- Shadows on my wall: the sparks, twigs from my plants, nice composition
- Doris messaged me and asked me if I still wanted contact with her after all these months. We met on the last day of June. I loved how open she was and I'm happy that she is finally admitting to herself that she needs help.
- Practicing my first headstand of the month. Ahem.
- Ordering the Hilma af Klint altarpiece as a large canvas print for C. Surprise! I'm planning on building a shadow frame for it.
- Picking a bunch of gorgeous yellow flowers and twigs with red berries on my walk through the forest with Do.
- Taking my feelings seriously, writing about them. I have such a tenacious block around the wristband design which made me explore my perfectionism and tendencies to procrastinate hard things. I was so desperate, I even tried self-hypnosis.
- Planning to start a Women's Circle once Celia is back in Munich.
jun 5 2024 ∞
jun 30 2024 +