- Spending the first day of the month completely alone. At home. Working on little projects. Labeling all the boxes in the basement. Hanging art. Building a wooden frame for my new kitchen shelves. Tiling my bookcase.
- Guessing correctly why I suddenly got a tummy ache. Doing exactly the right thing to make it go away (coffee and meds on an empty stomach are never a good idea).
- Mentally apologizing to my body for only really moving it once a week during yoga class.
- Recreating my grandma's potato goulash. Eating it with sour cream.
- Buying a stool on sale that might or might not look like a little sheep.
- Strawberry milkshake on a stressful day. It literally cooled me down.
- Getting to know the lady who lives in the cool and airy apartment across the street.
- Caught in the act: a little birdy landing on my sheepskin, ripping out a big fur ball for its nest.
- Prioritizing alone time. Saying no to social obligations.
- Long naps. Sleeping with the windows open, a nasal dilutor and mouth tape. Such a difference. Sometimes I even put a teeth whitening strip in and I want to start experimenting with self-hypnosis tracks.
- Unearthing one of my old favourites: Dallmayr Ginger Ginseng green tea.
- Sorting out my jewellery just to find a few pieces I really wanted to wear again!
- Going to Gregor von Raffay's (Kathi's dad) vernissage. Falling in love with his painting Am Meeresgrund. Having a good time with Chili, Kathi and their kids Luis and Maya.
- Rolling down the car windows. Singing along loudly to Soak Up the Sun by Sheryl Crow. My summer jam 2024. Also, I was surprised when I saw what a detailed Wikipedia article this song has.
- Coconut porridge and fresh peaches (what a divine smell) for breakfast. Eating outside on the balcony.
- Self-massage and gua sha with Aesop Breathless oil - a subtle blood orange smell.
- The sudden urge to listen to Unison again. And again. Masterpiece.
- Making a playlist of podcast episodes that left an impression.
- Watching movies from the late 80s/90s/early 00s I haven't seen yet. I need more feel-good cinema in my life.
- Singing at church with my choir. Emotional... such dense energy in there, every time.
- Buying spices, bread and Greek antipasti at the market. I wonder why it's so rare for me to go shopping there. I always enjoy it tremendously. But it's probably because I've always thought that it's too expensive. I might have to put market days in my calendar! Hope that helps.
- The golden chain tree has started to bloom in yellow cascades in our garden!
- A spontaneous decision to join some friends at the drag flea market at Pathos. Exactly the right kind of people I needed that day. Julia, Daniel, Patricia and Katharina. I bought two wigs and a sassy Queen of Hearts costume. Then we sat outside an Italian restaurant until it got cold. Quite entertaining and the right amount of socializing.
- My first time in a Float tank.
- Finding Isabel Allende's Eva Luna in a box of free books after the thunderstorm.
- Making banana ice-cream as a midnight snack.
- An improv theatre workshop. So many good ideas and such fun! I even got a day off for it! (and one of the participants who noticed that I was having a tough time and offered me her yoghurt; we really vibed in the word association exercise, too)
- Not an exclusively good thing because it came with a lot of fear, an activated abandonment wound and some emotional damage (I spent my lunch break locked in the handicapped toilet trying to calm down my tense body, not knowing how to properly release my emotions, crying big teardrops on the tile floor): three tough but cathartic conversations with C. Deciding that we would stay together. And that lovely moment in the morning when I felt my affection for him coming back.
- Sneaking into yoga class. Listening to my body. So glad I went.
- Being a member of the little team that is going to suggest new outfits for our gospel choir. Using Miranda Priestley as our group icon. / Also: everyone's joy when Beate got a phone call from Sarah telling her that her son was born a few hours before!
- Baffled parents asking me how I manage their kids - and I'm the only teacher who can. Apparently I'm doing something right.
- Single use changing mats. Best idea ever. So liberating. I hate wet spots.
- The first rays of sunshine in the morning after a few horribly rainy days. Hoping for a chance to dry everything wet on the balcony.
- Running into Uschi and Andrea. Dealing with their gossip with a new, detached energy.
- Adding a few lemon slices to my tap water. Using my Retap bottle with the wooden lid for the first time in years.
- A lengthy journalling session with lots of insights.
- Flight mode for more peace of mind.
- My strelitzia producing a huge new leaf. The baby is bigger than all the old ones.
- Meeting some members of the Burn Family at Stroke Art fair. Good conversations with Sandra, Yeli and Kathi. Discovering a few inspiring artists.
- Cinema and dinner with LenObi. It's been a while.
- The moon appearing as a faint but full disc with a thin crescent in the lower right corner.
- Eggplant burgers.
- Visiting Ramapriya's yoga studio for the first time. I don't know what took me so long. We reconnected immediately and now I'm thinking about doing a Yoga Vidya teacher training. I learned so much in that one class. Her pelvic floor asanas and explanations were fantastic. Afterwards we talked about HSP, Human Design (she’s a fellow member of the ManGen club), her daughter, and she showed me a mantra to remove obstacles / gain energy, inspiration and joy. I left after more than two hours. C. called me and told me about a crazy dream featuring an erupting volcano.
- Buying a FeetUp as a birthday gift to myself to practice handstands and improve my balance and core strength.
- Hanging laburnum branches above C.'s kitchen table.
- A walk through the forest/Filzen with C. Picking a bouquet of wildflowers. And “old people sex” which is what we called lying in bed attached to the same EMS machine, having a good conversation. Jumping on the trampoline together. Receiving little caresses and holding hands while watching TV. An intimate high pressure massage. Telling our dreams to each other in the morning. Making travel plans. Turning it around.
- When the podcast is about to end right when you arrive at home.
- Talking to Annika about portals.
- Body doubling. Grading English tests while C. was assembling his new standing table. I love working side by side. Or even just somebody being present - it's some sort of control mechanism, I feel supported. I did that for C. when I just sat with him while he sorted out his storage space. And I think it really helped him, too.
- Reading the lyrics of Die Interimsliebenden by Einstürzende Neubauten with C. In ihrem gemeinsamen Mund lebt ein Kolibri. Mit jedem seiner Flügelschläge, dafür das Auge viel zu träge, Kulturen erblühen und vergehen; ganze Kontinente untergehen.
- Getting to know Elena, who works with Somatic Experiencing and Craniosacral Method. We got to know each other and I drew two pictures of my body. How it currently feels and what I want it to feel like. Interesting insights.
- Waking up in a weird but calm energy on my birthday. Drawing the receptivity card. Attending a workshop on Deep Listening at the Art Academy. We meditated and played with sounds, even synthesizers. While some of it was too much for me (I could hear the electric current and most of the synthesizer sounds felt threatening) I enjoyed the concept and exercises. The other participants were all art teachers too. I felt resistance around one of them, Bastien, but we started talking over lunch. It got interesting really quickly and we spent two more hours in the English Garden after the workshop. B. told me his story. How he received healing. Experiences he's made. It was batshit crazy but I think I believe him. Was that the story I needed to receive that day? / Then I had tacos with Ben and we got along famously. I told him how much I like him when he's sober. I rented a karaoke box for two hours and sang with lots of friends - even Manu came which delighted me more than I would have expected.
- Another relational abyss. Melodramatic scenes, right out of a movie. Turning around one of the saddest days of the year by truly talking and listening to each other. Seeing the wounded inner child in my partner. Being there for him. A commitment to doing the work. Growth.
- Thoughtful birthday presents. A pillow for my uncomfortable car, a beautiful wok with wooden handles, homemade liquor and roasted pistachios. A video note from Christian and Lian.
- Joking with C. and L. Easy, relaxed, appreciative. Developing C.’s idea for his outside platform. A relaxed morning with a kiss goodbye.
- Lucie blessing me by singing the Om Tryambakam mantra for my birthday.
- Shower Citrus! Eating a citrus fruit in the shower. My theory: the warm steam enhances the smell of the essential oil in the peel. It smells divine! What an experience.
- A lavish breakfast. The spontaneous decision to go on a roadtrip. So we just packed the car and went our way. First we visited C.'s friend Maxi. She's one of those people with whom you immediately feel comfortable with. Her home was lovely. I also want a garden, chickens, a yoga platform. We slept in a caravan, talked about Merlin Sheldrake, had green pancakes and herbs, vegetable cake, smelled her entire DoTerra essential oil collection (Cassium, Madagascar Vanilla and Grapefruit are my favorites). I adored her daughter’s hairstyle (two chopsticks in a bun) and felt very cheerful one morning when I came into the house and an old Cat Power album was playing. / Then we visited her mum and tested all her esoteric devices and appliances. Moved on, had to change plans because C. forgot his backpack. Stopped at a strawberry field. Met Maxi and Juna at a lake, went swimming. I was reminded of how much I love that kind of movement. Water really is my element. We slept at a campsite in Aue. Not my scene at all. But the next day, we went to a thermal bath and sauna. Another happy place. Then we stayed with Franzi in Leipzig. I adored her apartment and we had a long conversation on her balcony. We also visited Marie together the next day. I tried to convince her cat to like me - no such luck. And I also ran into Jonathan that afternoon who was in town to visit his brother. What a strange coincidence. We went vintage shopping - I bought stained glass (and really want to learn how to work with it myself), C. bought an iridescent fake python jacket and a postcard for his son. We checked into a hotel. Received another lesson on personal boundaries. Went for a swim and a sauna session. Had ramen noodles. After a big breakfast (with fresh nut butter, delicious) we went to Jena and spent Ralf's lunch break in the botanical garden with him. We had a lovely time and spent the rest of the day in the planetarium for a 360° full dome movie festival and a concert. I took breaks for a Thai massage and fantastic Indian food. What a great trip.
- Chris Wormell’s incredible illustrations, escpecially his astronomical woodcuts.
- The tiniest mushrooms starting to grow in my champignon kit.
- Making strawberry Raffaello cake for the Filzhof pizza party. Getting to know some of C.'s neighbours better. Playing with the dogs.
- Watching the first season of House of the Dragon together. I'm a Rhaenys fangirl now.
- White Matcha chocolate. And the best snack: pecans, freeze dried strawberries and spelt flakes.
- Going to the garden center with C.! I loved picking out plants for the empty corner in his garden.
- Alone time. Feels so nice after spending a long time surrounded by people.
- Finishing the sunrise decor on my kitchen cabinets. They turned out really lovely.
- Re-folding all my clothes. Sorting them by type and colour.
- Eating buckwheat for lunch and dinner.
- A phone call with Ludwig. Learning about my crippling insecurity and the underlying fear. Paradoxically, insecurity is my safe space because it means inaction. I don't have to make a decision - which would come with the possibility of making a mistake. / The Lesson pt.II - I clicked on a random video to keep me company while eating cornflakes. It was, of course, on safety as THE basic human need. In my face.
- Harvesting the first two tiny cucumbers on my balcony. The bush in front of my window in full bloom - thousands of tiny white blossoms.
- Making myself a cup of herbal tea instead of aimless snacking, trying to meet an emotional need. It worked.
- Activities with Lian: decorating pudding, folding origami Pokémon, playfights.
- Finally grading the artworks from the final exam. Procrastination alarm.
- Drawing my body now and in its desired state with Elena. Doing boundary exercises. Meeting my inner protector: a big fuzzy bear. Which made me think of Luki who like running around in dark brown sheep skin and radiates a very stable, secure energy.
- Reaching a relative state of everything is as it should be in my apartment with hardly any loose threads.
- A visit from Luna and her friend Jannik. Deep talk, hanging out in my bed.
- The golden morning sun. The long days around summer solstice.
may 2 2024 ∞
jun 15 2024 +