Remember that when you ask for something, it becomes more possible that you will receive it. Your abundance is not measured by the things that you own. Your abundance is measured by your capacity to ask, to dream, and to answer. // Alice Sparkly Kat, October 2022

• Matt and Rachel from Northern Ireland. Chatting about their time in Uzbekistan and the latest season of Derry Girls in the pool at Zephyr Lodge. Maya rolling my joint in exchange for a GnT. Talking to Declan about his business idea - importing his brother's honey from New Zealand to the UK.
• Taking two interesting books from the hostel library: Susie Orbach's In Therapy and Labyrinth of Solitude by Octavio Paz.
• My host family in Antigua - the couple was the same age as me and they had a feisty little daughter, Sofía. Unfortunately, their young dog caused a few problems so I grew resentful and was glad to leave after a week. But I enjoyed the learning opportunity because we always had long conversations in Spanish during our meals together!
• The fresh laundry smell of the towels during my massage. Lemongrass-flavoured macadamia oil. Chill vibes and relaxing music, a nice masseuse. A good experience. Afterwards: more pampering. A lovely coffee to go and a passion fruit macaron. Making an appointment to get piercings.
• I went to a shitty hostel party with Moana and Declan and was promptly abandoned. The attractive Austrian guy ignored me as well after a very short conversation. Frustrating. But I was very grateful for Miles and Lucie, a friendly couple from the UK. They took pity on me and I actually ended up having a good time. I even swapped shirts with Miles when he spun the wheel and got clothes swap with the opposite gender as a dare.
• Cindy, my super friendly and professional piercer. I even met her tiny son at the studio!
• Baking chocolate zebra cake with Sofía. Buying pink star sprinkles for her. Drawing rainbows together.
• A cat (Misha) sleeping right on my table at Fernando's café. The word maullando/maullar (= to meow).
• Simple but delicious Guatemalan food. Making Dobladas together. Frijoles con Tortrix. Invueltas de coliflor (cauliflower dipped in egg, then fried). Atole (a drink that reminds me of semolina pudding) and Chayote (a local type of vegetable).
• Finally starting with my Insta stories, trying to catch up on the first two months of my sabbatical. Getting lots of positive feedback!
• My first volcano hike (Pacaya). Walking uphill and climbing over the rocks was extremely hard and exhausting for me but somehow the view is always worth the pain. We grilled marshmallows over the hot stones, there was smoke coming out between the interesting lava formations. The sunset above the clouds was breathtaking and I got to pet a few horses.
• More good words: sagacious/sagacity.
• Robin Sloan's writing (he just released another great short story about a hotel in NYC, room service and publishing books).
• Breathwork with Arija. Adiemus. A floating, expanding energy feeling. So good. Drawing OSHO cards. I got Past Lives and Celebration.
• Swimming in the clear lake. A few rays of sunshine. Writing in my journal.
• Lipton frambuesa ice tea. Palomitas with butter and salt. Mildly obsessed.
• A day at Eagle's Nest. Breathwork. Talking to Ines and getting to know Véro from Canada/Paris. Drinking cappuccino with a view, sketching interesting houses from a distance. CATS. A spontaneous decision to stay for yoga. Shockingly it was a hip hop hip opener class but I was surprised by how much fun I had! Chrystee's awesome playlist surely helped. I felt strong and flexible and advanced. The view over Lago Atitlán from the platform made me feel so privileged. I received lots of recommendations, e.g. eating at Búho (which I did and the vegan tasting menu was incredibly delicious), and Roatan tips from Véro. We also talked about brave location and business changes.
• I saw my first scorpio!
• Belly scratches and toe beans - hostel cat Ana lounging in the morning sun.
• Yoga, Reiki and then a lovely breathwork class with lots of breath retention and visuals. Purple, pink and orange. Emerging shapes. The reiki teacher touching our chakra points. I tried to paint what I saw using watercolours afterwards and loved it when the sun came out and illuminated my painting. I really should paint more. Palo Santo on my hands to remind me of the experience. Releasing some tension and feelings.
• Kimchi miso soup with rice, beans, tofu cubes and lots of veggies at Del Lago. Deliciosa. Need to recreate it at home.
• (And the lovely peanut butter cookie I ate for dessert.)
• I found pretzel buns, sourdough bread with black olives and buttery almond croissants at Circles Bakery. Jackpot!
• Meeting Brian and Lily in San Pedro. Drinks, karaoke, Hawaiian physio moves, deep talk and silly jokes (I like penis a lot = Pina colada).
• Taking the boat to go to the other side of the lake, being surrounded by volcanoes. A truly special place.
• A lucky streak when it comes to aiming accurately before throwing objects into the bin.
• Seeing my first hummingbirds!
• Horny breathwork. Learning that what angers me is instruction. Being told what to do. And a Russian accent? Intrusive questions. Especially about feelings. Tell me what you're feeling and where is a demand that made me shut down completely. Difficult but interesting - where does this resistance come from?
• A morning swim in the lake. Enjoying the sun and view of the volcanoes. Spinning around and meditating in the water.
• A party with horrible hippie trance music - I felt so out of place. But I actually had a little fun whenever the DJ played something Bollywood or hip-hop inspired.
• Jarra embroidery on the curtains in my room at Del Lago.
• An extremely chill Sunday. Desayuno típico. Meeting Za and his daughter Petra. A video call with Sash. A croissant from Circles Bakery. Bought a ring for my conch piercing. Creative play session with Kyle (he had face tattoos and I kinda loved them on him). I was the only one there so we started talking and he wanted to do some Inner Child Work. I told him about my favourite witch stories from when I was a kid. I would sit at my desk for hours, drawing and listening to audiobooks. So he sent me to the garden to collect things for a spell he wanted me to create. I had to walk through the magic gate to step into my powers. So I intuitively came up with a spell for more balance in my life. I burned my spell, included all elements using holy water from Lourdes and plant materials. I drew tarot cards and wasn't surprised how accurate the images mirrored my intentions. I got The World and it meant the world to me. The Sun and Two of Swords. Powerful. Afterwards I had the best massage with Alicia. Lots of movement and pressure. When I came back to the hostel I went to the sauna and swam in the lake after sunset.
• Volcano rumbling. So cool.
• A private Family Constellations session with Sara. She told me repeatedly that the wood, possessions, crystals, oils and scents are what she's drawn to as my soul. I have to follow what excites me, comes easy to me, speaks to me. Not be afraid of people but find them in the right context, not at parties but in art workshops. Make deeper connections. Try to live authentically. Get into contact with my inner child: provide the love, acceptance and protection I'm missing.
• Voice activation with Stefan. Activating our chakras through humming. I loved pretending to be a band and layering instrument and voice loops, listening to each other. Improvising.
• The Indian Nose hike was quite the adventure. The three of us got a tuk tuk up there before sunrise and actually had to walk a few times because we were too heavy for the vehicle. It was still dark when we started hiking and I had a pretty hard time keeping up. When we arrived at the view point I just wanted to rest but there were already so many people, talking loudly and taking photos. I was a bit disappointed and annoyed. After a while I decided to walk back down by myself which was pretty nice. My mood got better immediately and the view really was breathtaking. Walking through nature on my own was lovely. I enjoyed the coffee plants growing all around, the morning sun, the cows grazing on the fields.
• The Western Astrology workshop with Echo where I learned more about the different planets and houses.
• Waking up early. Hearing a very interesting bird song for the first time. A squirrel balancing on a washing line. Fluffy (the bitchy hostel cat) meowing outside the bathroom door. Cuddles and scratches... and then she accepted to be transported into my bed. She chose me! Proud moment.
• Another day meeting friends (Chopper, Lily and Brian) at Vida Café. Speaking German with Chopper. A rainy afternoon at Eagle's Nest, happily untangling and rolling up Lily's yarn. Falling flat down on my ass on the slippery hill even though Brian had warned me before was definitely not a highlight but at least I didn't hurt myself.
• Eating Sabis (Israeli pita bread filled with eggplant, falafel and hummus) in San Pedro with Omer and Nir.
• Appreciating the fascinating consistency of a brownie when you're high.
• Learning that layered music optimally stimulates the ADHD brain. No wonder I love mashups and loops so much. Bayonne's music and movies like Pitch Perfect just hit the right spot!
• Standing in an office supply store. All the pens and paper. Buying an exercise book to use as a journal.
• A Radiant Life podcast.
• Working on my sketchbook and really getting creative. Just doing whatever feels right. Glueing in holo garlands and beer labels, drawing psychedelic mushrooms, hyping myself up with tarot wisdom. Geeking out over mexislang words, birth chart/astrology info, just doing quick sketches.
• Participating in a Mayan fire ceremony.
• Playing Game of Fives with the volunteers. Feeling included. connecting with Mali and Lukas from Graz.
• Arija. Talking about her volunteering at Fungi Academy. Deciding to apply for a position there myself.
• I found a dead bird in the yoga shala. There was a butterfly right next to it. Death and life. Transformation. I gave the bird a funeral in the lake. Put it on a big leaf and made a bed with beautiful flowers and twigs. I said a few words and put it down on the water.
• Matching with the charismatic Austrian guy I met at a hostel party in Antigua. There was still no spark between us but I felt as if life had given me a second chance. Or maybe it was just to show me that he really wasn't meant for me and I had no reason to be sad about a missed connection.
• Indian food in Panajachel. Delicious garlic cheese naan. Getting a few pens at the stationery shop. Writing many pages in my journal.
• Looking out the window while driving through Chiapas during golden hour. Feeling the strong urge lo live in a valley, near a forest. With animals and a vegetable garden and a studio and an old house I can renovate. The landscape reminded me so much of home.
• Returning to San Cris. Tasty tamales and my favourite vintage store.
• When the earplugs start blending out the outside noise - a continuous, gradual deafness.
• Waking up in the night bus during sunrise, overlooking a gorgeous valley with eagles hovering in the air.
• Smelling the fresh strawberries in my salad. The smell of Do's shower gel lingering in the air. Late afternoon sun. A red cat strolled along the wall below the café. Taking in the view.
• MicroEnormous immersion theatre - it gave me so many ideas and I loved wearing the trippy glasses! Prisms, lights, sense deprivation, smells, rituals, mezcal - a very celebratory mood. I need to connect to darkness more.
• The Día de los Muertos festivities in Oaxaca. People in costumes, painted faces, musicians in black velvet, flowers and decorations everywhere.
• A group video call with the fam. All agreeing on living together eventually? But I'm afraid I can't count on them at all. So I'll have to do my own thing. But Michi said something so nice about me. That I'm courageous and talented and will always land on my feet. And that I should just go for it and work as an artist. New idea: working part time as a teacher and finding another job that actually brings me joy for the rest of my time
• The tapete at MUPO and other cool art. I'd forgotten how much I love museums.
• Meeting Yeshua for dinner at an Indian restaurant. Getting drinks in Reforma, playing pool. Learning new words, watching people doing tricks on their motorcycles on the way.
• Another Treat Yourself Sunday. I bought a tiny cup made from Oaxacan clay - a typical one with a face. And a white kimono top with manta rays. Got a café latte frío (only coffee, milk, ice cubes. No sugar. So grateful for everything unsweetened). And a massage. Then I took a taxi to book fair where I met Diego. We spent the evening together, drawing at a restaurant and drinking beer on my hostel's rooftop.
• Writing on the right side in a new notebook.
• Meeting Paulina at the crowded bakery with great bread and coffee. Bonding. A walk through Xochimilco, amazing weather and decorations, the graveyard. Honoring my feelings, taking myself out of the situation. Resting, getting food.
• Finally seeing Meggy again!
• My Catrina face paint - I thought I looked so gorgeous and made Paulina take photos of me!
• Dante's Inferno at the historic Teatro Macedonio de Alcalá.
• Live music at the bar next to our hostel where a girl tried to set me up with her friend. She made us all dance together and the bar owner unsuccessfully tried to teach me Cumbia.