- A lazy Sunday in bed with Sex Education and cake until Sandra summoned me with a bossy voice note and I joined the others at Oktoberfest. At one point there were several unicorns flying through the sky (in balloon form). Then I went on a little adventure with Sandra, Robert and David. Selfies at the mirror cabinet, crashing into each other with bumping cars, throwing balls into mouths, gifting red roses to each other, attending the flea circus. Man, I love this gang. I told David that he's naturally gorgeous when he inquired about the fate of his full beard and in hindsight I realised... he actually IS really cute. Also way out of my league? Sigh.
- Cycling to school for the first time. Any excuse to escape public transport. But I was surprised by how quick the journey felt! I'm planning on taking my bike more often as long as the weather permits.
- My first proper Kundalini yoga class! I kept up beautifully and it wasn't even too weird. Afterwards I appeased the teachers anxious, barking dog by giving her a few good scratchies. Oh, and I met a silky smooth and shiny black cat on the way there!
- A return request for a lamp I'd bought turned into... a free lamp. They just let me keep it.
- Not sure if it's a good thing but at least it was amusing: waking up in such a crazy mood that I constantly made weird noises and commented on what I was doing in strange accents. That's why I'm never bored.
- Garlic-filled green olives.
- Swimming in the river. In October! I enjoyed the public holiday at Isar with Ben, Taffy and Lu.
- A nightly walk through the neighborhood. Picking up a very affectionate cat who purred all the time. Following a toad. Hanging out in the playground.
- Finding out about an Alan Rickman movie I really wanna see: Truly, Madly, Deeply.
- I picked up a few vegetables from my neighbours' garage and there was a chonky red and white tomcat. We started "talking" and I was CHOSEN. He wrapped himself around my neck and started purring, basically making out with me. Lots of boops!
- I had so much energy in Lucie's Yoga class. I sang all the mantras, kept moving, meditating, even performed a headstand! And I learned a trick with the Yoga belt: making a loop and putting it over me leg and head helps me stretch and twist my upper spine!
- A weird half-lucid dream about my dying parents in a mansion. Almost like an epic family saga, one of these long novels with too many characters.
- Learning from Sophie Passmann's book Pick Me Girls that I was never special. At all. It's funny - and sad - how many things we have in common.
- A long video call with Fox. Unboxing the parcel I'd sent him, sharing book recommendations and going through our many lists together.
- My date with Christian. Taking the BDSM test on the big leather sofa at Flex together (100% brat?). He noticed we were actually in the kissing corner and made like nobody was watching. We talked about Integral Psychology (I couldn't get Treya Wilber's quote about love at first touch out of my head), my shadow/mum's death and his depression. We went home together. How is this so intense. High on connection.
- Madonna's Don't Tell Me playing while walking to the subway one evening, looking up to the stars, feeling gratitude of this fantastic new plane of existence I'm on. I never knew bliss like this. Tell me love isn't true / It's just something that we do / Tell me everything I'm not / But don't ever tell me to stop
- The crisp chop chop sound the knife triggered when it dismembered a chunky carrot.
- Scalp-brushing.
- Hopping around on Hanna's trampoline machine in the physio practice.
- Meeting Michael for the first time! I promptly took him to a burner get-together at Tatjana's place and we got along famously. I also enjoyed creating naughty poetry with Ben and hugging Robert for a few moments longer than necessary. I had a great conversation with the British guy whose name I never learned and loved Sandra's soft fur coat - couldn't stop touching it.
- Another nightly playground visit.
- An unexpected nude selfie with greetings from the Mediterranean from Galya and Nagu.
- Milk foam. / Arriving in the kitchen just in time to prevent the milk from boiling over.
- Sunday afternoon at Alte Pinakothek with Katharina. I love that woman and I desperately want her to become one of my best friends. We interpreted the art, paid attention to details, textures, colours. Looked at Tilda Swinton's favourite painting (her partner is a childhood friend of K's ex). Then we got some juice and eggplant bread sitting outside a cafe in Schwabing, playing with tiny spiders and chestnuts. Talking about health, sex and love, fashion, all the important things in life.
- A brainstorming session with Fox. Getting the zoomies. Interpreting my OSHO stalker card.
- Sandra sending me cute photos of me and David.
- A deliciously ripe mango from the Canary Islands. A clementine giving me Christmas vibes. Cosy and nostalgic mint tea.
- London Philharmonic Orchestra - Adagio for Strings Op.11a / immediate calming effect, it makes me feel like I'm walking through a dramatic movie.
- Cycling to the cafeteria. Someone had a beautiful grey Sheba cat on their lap on the driver's seat of their car, letting it look out the window. Someone else was blasting Toto's Africa and I sang along. I managed to produce a loud whistling noise with my fingers!
- Salted Pistachio nut butter cups.
- Gifting myself to a beautiful yellow and purple bouquet of flowers (my favourite colour combination).
- My new acid yellow blazer.
- Staying super calm and positive during a painful medical procedure.
- Taking the liberty to leave work instead of suffering through the whole day when I noticed I had tonsillitis again.
- Coming up with a sexy mission for Lena and Max.
- 555 is associated with change, personal progression, and transformation. "It is a sign from the divine that you are undergoing positive changes in your life."
- Cycling to Westpark to meet Vroni. The smell of mulch in the air (reminds me of home).
- Feeling energetic, strong, powerful (still can't do a headstand without walking up a wall though).
- Manu showed up at choir practice again! And Kathrin wants me to prepare a song to check out my voice for a possible solo.
- Dusting the whole apartment. Filing paperwork. I love it when I happen to be in the mood for annoying tasks like that.
- An inspired dinner & theatre date with Becky (visiting Raphael's opening of Animal Farm).
- The very spontaneous decision to turn around and go home with Christian in the middle of the night. Touching him felt electric again and his apartment was incredibly gorgeous. I loved waking up surrounded by nature, meeting the chickens and a shy cat. Meditating in the sun. A debate about AI over breakfast. Playing with his son's toys, receiving one of his tiny toothbrushes (pink with stars and a suction cup). Chestnuts. Reading a picture book to him after giving him a massage.
- Lush fields of sunflowers in the sunshine. Fall foliage. Butterflies and a vegetable garden outside C.'s house. More chickens outside the wholefood store on my street.
- The first persimmons of the season. Biting into a jam-filled gingerbread heart.
- A newfound obsession with Jupiter. Its symbol consists of 2+4, my two favourite numbers. Gustav Holst's The Planets suite.
- Morning meditation (autumn vibes, windy with lots of crisp leaves flying through the air - cosy). Starting Roger Zelazny's Lord of Light over breakfast (I'm already hooked). Invitations, coincidences, good conversation. Finalising the stamps (following advice about "Doing the thing" I'd received in a newsletter the day before).
- A new musical era? I've started listening to more classical music, being naturally drawn to it. I find it to be very uplifting, making life a little more cinematic .
- I got dressed up for Avantgardista and felt comfortable and hot in a see-through top with black jeans, cowboy boots and my new Desigual leather jacket. I looked objectively cute! My hair cooperated and I came up with an asymmetrical flitter make-up idea: Multichrome flakes under the right eye, little gemstones under my left eyebrow to accentuate the highest point (stole the idea from Eric in Sex Education).
- Spending Saturday evening surrounded by so many burners, old friends and new ones. Finalising my friendship with Robert at Chili's kitchen table. Starting to flirt with each other ("Just to clarify: I do wanna make out with you but I'm afraid of Sandra" - "Yeah, me too!" / he kept following me around a little bit and stayed close. I love how loyal and playful he is).
- Tiny kisses from Sandra. Really great fashion and accessories, so many ideas for my own art projects and future Burn outfits. Christian showing up behind me (with Elena - I was a little jealous). Waving to Heike and Stefan from across the catwalk. Chili repeatedly offering to hold my chewing gum for me. Bringing out my dominant streak (the outfit must have done it). Sharing pinsa and a taxi.
- Sending a selfie of Katharina and me to her ex (who we both know): "Hey, I stole your ex!" (He was totally fine with it) Damn, we looked extra cute. I loved our connection. What a unique and genuine person!
- Playing Spin-the-bottle. Daring tasks. Connecting with Uli. Falling asleep on the big sofa, waking up surrounded by four lovely human beings in a cuddle puddle. Handing out double massages. Breakfast delivery with extra buttery croissants. My head in Christian's lap. Eye contact and kisses from above.
- Luna is such a gorgeous, gentle and ethereal human being. She has this soothing voice, is so supportive and drove us all home on Sunday. And do I even need to mention her fantastic new green latex dress? I loved learning about her job in Game Design, bonding over our nerdiness.
- Making plans for a mystery dinner together - Indian food, costumes and a murder case.
- Christian coming over for dinner. Sitting in my kitchen in a bathrobe. Black candles lit. I love how comfortable he feels in my apartment. Watching scenes from controversial movies in bed, realising we both have quite unusual and eclectic taste. Being reminded of old fantasies and habits. Seeing his face light up when he saw a little video clip his son had sent him, telling him he missed him. His excitement when I told him about Björk's Cornucopia Tour. We made rough plans to go there together. Daring to tell him that I'm kinda into him.
- Still, again, always, a little morning request to hear Run Away to Mars by Talk. 3, 2, 1 I miss you.
- Now I've even started to find tiny glitter stars on my apartment floor. This one probably came from Christian's facial glitter? It's magic.
- Remnants of summer: Yellow dahlias and a bush still full of ripe raspberries in the neighbours' garden. An older couple making out on the subway like teenagers - holding each other's faces, eyegazing.
- An insight I had about gender-aware language (that it might actually emphasize inequalities and differences) in a discussion with Raphael.
- An easy-breezy lyrics round at Pub Quiz. Slapping Dennis (with his consent). Being reminded of I Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith.
- I've been listening to so much more music lately: Björk - Venus as a Boy / Billie Bird - La Nuit / Villagers - Courage / Danit - Cuatro Vientos
- Beautiful spheric wall art on my daily bike route. A woodpecker crossing my path in flight. The effect I seem to have on women these days. Peculiar.
- Forest & Shore Thrive Hair Oil.
- Subtle flirting with my colleagues.
- A substitute lesson with the 9th-graders. We practiced some Speeddating! I had so much fun with the older kids. I'm a little sad about only teaching years 5+6 at the moment.
- My first Joy of Connection event - ecstatic dance turns cuddle puddle. I loved Stefan's music and touches and was surprised and happy that Katharina and David showed up. Lovely vibes, massages, first attempts at contact improv. An Indian girl developed a crush on me.
- A cute date with Atabak. He brought me dark sea salt chocolate! I love talking about language, culture and art with him. He's super gentle but intense and calls me cute one.
- Meeting Benni and Steffy for dinner at Giorgia. What a great evening. Benni got me to different spheres again and I loved the stories they shared. We took selfies in the mirrored toilet together and made plans to meet again soon!
- A very chill and calming breathwork session at Yoga Garden.
- Following an impulse to drive to Augsburg for the Kinky Amore Party. Meeting lovely burners. Grounding C. through a trip. Letting him cut my duct tape outfit off me. Walking through the empty streets together in the early morning. Driving back to Munich during sunrise. Holding hands on the gear stick. Kinky bathroom session. Closing the blinds, spending the rest of Saturday in darkness. Talking for hours. Massages. Getting up close to midnight to eat potatoes and cauliflower. Falling asleep again. Cataloguing all my old maps and charts in the morning. My pillow smelled of him.
- A long walk through the forest on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I immediately felt calmer upon entering the woods. The smell was enticing. I found hazelnuts, took a lot of gorgeous photos. Then I put on the inline skates I had with me in my backpack and skated back to my bike. I was honestly surprised that it went quite well!
- Meeting Max and Lena. Interesting conversation and playtime. She was super cute, I loved touching her.
- Biting into a crisp, buttery croissant.
- My connection with Fox. Mutual understanding, inspiration, playfulness.
- Walking to school in the morning. I Do the Rock on my headphones. A sudden whiff of sugar and cinnamon, reminding me of my grandma and, weirdly, the bakery at Niederbayernschau.
- The life is juicy feeling. Delicious moments and experiences. Feeling like I've leveled up, vibrating on a higher frequency. Manifesting what's to come. Love, safety, adventure, creativity, stepping into my power.
- Someone in my yoga class told me how fascinating and beautiful she found my hip rotation. She said she wanted to stop her own Asana and marvel at my flexibility.
- The moment I realized I wasn't wearing any make-up (and didn't have to wash my face).
- Finally finishing the Playspace Bingo.
- Fancy shopping at Muji. I got crisps with old French cheese and a huge sandalwood candle.
- Meeting David at work. I love him so much.
- Visiting Robert's new apartment. Snacks on the balcony. Seeing Sandra together. Kebabs on a park bench. Train and bus and car ride. He's super touchy and cuddly!
- The madness that was Hamburn. Chaotic, stressful, vibrant, pulsating. Wow. Here are a few film stills that live in my head rent free: the long drives with my dudes (Frank, Robert and Uli but on the way back Celia came with us) - Robert and I were such a good team; driving, cuddling, massaging and supporting each other, great conversation and DJ-ing / a moment with Uli on the bar floor, almost kissing after dinner, and an honest conversation about his cancer journey; giving him an exciting challenge for his free bingo space, witnessing how much he was into it; and sharing his apple lollipop / talking to Idan (who still intimidates and confuses me) and Alma (I'm not sure how that immediate level of conversational depth came to be but I went along with it) / dancing with Robert to Oops I Did it Again and seeing him match my energy on the actual dancefloor; going absolutely bananas (Fusili!) / roleplaying our way through the admission procedure: drawing numbers, going along with the tasks and challenges, reading a fantastic story about wolverines, filling out a crazy form and putting Robert on a leash - conveniently, I had a washing line in my bag / lying on the lower bunk bed in the Play-Playroom with Robert, Koali and Ole; reading picture books to each other; toys and candy, vibrating walls / witnessing a very strange scene when the hypnosis duo came in with one of their many victims and Undine said that none of that had ever happened... / walking through the forest, alone, in the middle of the night / taking turns drawing a scene with Robert in the Expresso Tipi, getting buffed / a great conversation about self development with Celia and Josef (who are both coaches) in the welfare room; the two woman doctors who came in just to hang out with me, eat snacks and listen to Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield / exchanging long, sensual massages on an actual massage bench with R. / taking a Lindy Hop class, being lead, slowly getting the hang of it (muscle memory), fighting over Robert and then with him, landing on his face (contact improv) / early morning sauna and quick swims in the ice cold lake / receiving hard slap shots from Jo in drag / recording "podcast" episodes about how much we missed Sandra - receiving her hilarious replies / getting dressed up for the 80s party, taking cute photos / going all kitty on Nas, propositioning him to play because he doesn't speak my native language (bingo task) / seeing Marta dance with a crystal ball player - their interaction was magnetic, she kept following the ball with her gaze and movements / walking out of a door, a flock of people at the bottom of the stairs; playing queen, waving to my people - everybody immediately played along //
oct 3 2023 ∞
nov 9 2023 +