- Kissing.
- Meeting Sri in Würzburg. A calm train ride and ancient trams. Working in harmony. Learning. Accepting that our exercises won't be perfect but they'll be good enough.
- Reading so much. I just finished Alice Hoffman's Practical Magic series.
- C. went to the bakery to buy dessert and asked me what I was in the mood for (creamy and fruity). No special occasion. Such a treat.
- Visiting the garden exhibition with Tine. Overseeing Lian's playground time, giving him little challenges. Walking back after sunset with a cup of warm Chai Masala in my hands. Staged photographs.
- Feeling very patient and calm. Taking the time to explain something thoroughly, playing a 4 hour board game; enough energy to manage my emotions and even go grocery shopping.
- Heart-shaped pink Begonia blossoms.
- Marjolien and Tobi visiting us for dinner. I made a yummy pasta bake. And pumpkin quiche the next day.
- Quality time with Findus, the cutest of the cuties. He's so gentle and playful.
- Fast-acting nasal spray.
- My cozy, autumnal mood. The light just after dawn - foggy and high-contrast. Taking an additional soft blanket to bed. Pumpkin Spice porridge with apple slices.
- Realising that I need stillness to get in touch with what I need and come back to myself. I even drew two matching OSHO Zen cards: Patience and Success.
- A full day of consistent energy.
- I went to Schauburg theatre with Becky to see Die kleine Hexe and loved the play. The witches' costumes, dances and the eerie music were perfect and the guy who spoke everyone's lines was so funny. And time with Becky is always so nice. She really is one of the best friends I have.
- Support from a few people in my Gestalt therapy group after I shared the news about my current situation. Talking to Markus who's been through the same shit as me. Feeling hopeful.
- A blind intuitive touch exercise with Friederike. I felt very comfortable with her, especially when she put pressure on me and held me.
- I found a postcard with a beautiful text from a local Gestalt therapist: Lass es sein.
- A moment when I realised that my was body annoying me - which meant that I was actually IN my body at the time! And it was so much easier to be present and look at people!
- More self-diagnosis: I'm a Highly Sensitive Person and a High Sensation Seeker, possible also highly intelligent. Which explains my contradictory nature. I need to rest AND I'm easily bored. Understimulation is just as stressful to me as overstimulation. Which probably means that what I've experienced at work is a qualitative bore-out, not a burn-out. I need more excitement and challenges in my life! I want to learn and apply my creativity. I want to stop all the hesitation and avoidance to find the courage to create the circumstances I need to thrive!
- I took the same road to my seminar on Saturday and Sunday and on both days a kitty was waiting in the same spot. It talked to me and allowed me to pet it. A blessing for the day!
- Doing improv comedy. I completely over-acted like the little drama queen that I am and made people laugh. I was surprised by how much fun I had!
- Noticing that my jungly, artsy apartment is so me. I feel quite at home here.
- Roasted cauliflower with lemon, garlic mayo and feta. A clementine and a crisp apple with tahini for dessert.
- Writing a letter about fall vibes, sending witchy novels to a friend.
- Going to the supermarket for some fruit and milk just to find my favorite snack of all time on the shelf: Smash. Highly addictive. So tasty.
- Painting at C.'s kitchen table while waiting for him. Listening to podcasts. Switching to illustration when abstract painting felt a little frustrating.
- The moment when all that talk about problems and negativity switched to playfulness and we started laughing, teasing each other, interacting freely and joyfully.
- Cuddles from Andrea after a boring choir meeting.
- All the yellow flowers I keep seeing at the moment. Whole fields of late-blooming canola and sunflowers.
- Revisiting an old favourite after lunch with Frank at Café Beethoven: hot chocolate with whipped cream and sea salt.
- An extra blanket in bed.
- Journalling.
- Crisp, tart apples.
- Fall colours. Leaves in all shades of yellow, orange and red. Muted greens and browns.
- Driving towards the bright full moon illuminating my path.
- Double trouble with the kitten bois trying to "help" me with the laundry.
- A weekend with Christian and his housemates. Cooking together, long walks in the mountains and along a lake, playing games and getting to know each other a little better. Feeling really happy even though it wasn't always easy. Perhaps living in community really has its benefits.
- Consoling C.'s son, making him laugh.
- Squeezing into a small hostel bed together. Occasional touches, smiles and winks.
- Austrian supermarkets.
- C. remembered my story about chest pockets and surprised me with a little heart doodle in his shirt pocket. He also left a lovely note for me on his kitchen table in the morning.
- Feeling euphoric. Loved. Cared for. When he massaged me. Told me to take it slow. Pinched me. Kissed me. I told him it was the best sex I'd ever had and meant it.
- Walking through the forest looking for mushrooms. Stepping on huge puffballs, also finding several edible ones. Spooking a few kittens. The late afternoon light coming in through the trees. Eye contact with a horse.
- All three kitten bois asking for attention at the same time.
- Hugging my Gestalt therapist.
- Stumbling upon Wood Soup Girl's ASMR videos.
- Snake-like movements in yoga class. So good for my spine.
- Celia reaching out to me with her vision of a collaboration. I have so many thoughts about community, working with purpose, helping yourself and others. Is this the time to start something big?
- Painting on a stone. Just because.
- Making coconut sticky rice with frozen mango cubes.
- A relaxed vision after yoga class: imagining spending some time with my mum in the forest. Hugging, feeling and smelling each other. Encouragement and smiles. Wrapping our arms around a tree.
- Talking to Miri and Lucie about late career changes, crisis, and accepting help.
- Waking up with the impulse to do weight training. So I did. I even practiced with my FeetUp trainer and went for a long walk through the forest. An old man greeted me and made me smile. A magic moment: I thought about a cat I'd sometimes met on the street I was on and right that second a beautiful red cat came out of a driveway. Kitty manifestation.
- Coming home. Taking a shower. Lying down. Feeling the warm, soft blankets. Relaxing.
- Hanging out at Frank's place like in the good old times with Fabi, Marie and Christian.
- Planting 22 fruit trees with Christian's neighbors and two cats. It was hard work I'm not used to but I had fun nevertheless!
- Doing breathwork together. We both had a beautiful journey! I drew a mandala card before and after: gratitude - follow your bliss.
- Enjoying each other's presence. Cuddles, fantasies, fun, lots of healing touch. Our last weekend together before my month in the clinic. At one point he picked me up from the bathroom door singing Heal the World, dragging me along into a little dance.
- Meeting beautiful Celia. Walking over to Westpark together. Talking about our lessons, difficulties, visions. Making plans. Mercury in Gemini team!
- A little test from the Universe demonstrating that I'm not as well as I thought I was. One little problem and I'm nervous, afraid, helpless. However, I managed the crisis and was rewarded with a graceful solution.
- Doodling faces. Using my sketchbook. It felt nice.
- Smelling the cat's earthy toe beans. Cute aggression is real.
- Holding hands with L. when he came into our bed in the morning. Getting up with him. Starting to build a marble run out of cardboard.
- My huge room at the clinic. The fantastic food. Good company.
- Showing my vulnerability openly by asking for help with something as simple as the candy in my mini bar.
- Realizing that other people don't perceive me as awkward and incompetent. Quite the opposite actually. It's all in my head.
oct 9 2024 ∞
nov 30 2024 +