Lord, I confess I want the clarity of catastrophe but not the catastrophe. Like everyone else, I want a storm I can dance in. I want an excuse to change my life. - Franny Choi

• Tamales con quesillo y salsa roja / in San Cris: con rajas poblanas. Yum! They remind me of semolina dumplings.
• Feline encounters: the cutest cat at Iguana: red, white and brown with green eyes; very friendly and gentle. / The grey cat who followed me home, talking to/meowing at me, stopping me to demand scratches. / My black cat friend at Estrella Fugaz.
• First impressions are scarily accurate. Somehow you can just feel who belongs in your tribe.
• Attending the self love workshop at Hridaya Yoga (and the fact that a handbook I randomly picked up in a hostel led me there). So much input, realising how much work there is to be done. The ho'oponopono prayer, meditation and partner exercises. Journalling about my insights. New ways of thinking and connecting. Staring into 14 strangers eyes for what felt like forever, holding hands. Intense. Feeling the love, the group finally connecting on the third day. Especially because it was Sasha's birthday and we danced to 70s disco music.
• Meeting with Carina, Sasha and Fico (what an amazingly sympathetic power couple, I admire them so much) the next day. Feeling at ease. Talking about language, culture, the state of the world, very personal insights and thoughts about healing.
• Playa Mermejita. Alone, black sand, crabs, storm damage. Reading. Getting a tan on my belly for the first time in my life (have I mentioned that I've finally started wearing bikinis?). Writing in the sand.
• Men with space buns. Men who like cats. Men who go to self love workshops. Men who've overcome toxic masculinity. I love people who're not stuck in stereotypes and typecasting that comes with their gender. Maybe that's why I'm attracted to women with short hair and masculine traits and vice versa.
• Daring to go to the Kirtan. Om Shanti.
• Spanish progress. Connecting with Eva, my maestra from Madrid. The first time I understood the difference between the imperfecto, presente perfecto and pretérito (but realising I will actually have to study this time). Having real conversations in Spanish. Compliments on that, and my accent. Feels good because I've been frustrated by my lack of ability to express myself.
• Coconut milk tapioca pudding with passion fruit compote. Vegan hot dogs.
• The sense that you can get it “right” is in some ways illusory; there’s no door behind which the right version of your life is waiting. There will be pain and joy in all possible futures [...] The question may not be how to get the right answer to this question, but how to find the space to celebrate the fact that each of your options contains a life you’d be proud to live. Eleanor Gordon-Smith
• Tabi playing the guitar. Singing together. I loved her song about the seasonal colours. And the Canción de Miedo.
• Cañón de Sumidero boat ride. Rescuing passengers from a sinking ship. Michelada con mango from the tienda flotante in the sun. Pelicans. Crocodiles. Spider monkeys. Riding through waterfalls.
• The friendly guy from Guadalajara. Erika, the pretty graphic designer from Playa. The whacky Australians.
• Taking the colectivo to Chamula with Ricardo. Getting to know him. Libra musician. Italian cuisine. Dog lover. Conversing in Spanish!! Buying tiny candles to express gratitude and to make a wish. Taking in the very peculiar atmosphere of the church. The burping, the animal sacrifice, the sea of candles and pine needles all over the floor. Visiting the graveyard. Getting elote straight out of a car trunk.
• Stumbling upon the most beautiful earrings ever. Brass crescent moons with long, thin feathers. The artist made them especially for me!
• The Bad People vintage store in San Cris.
• More waterfalls. A rainbow, for a short moment. The view over the valley. The Palenque ruins - super beautiful and impressive even though I didn't feel the magic there.
• A blissful evening shopping at a super Chedraui after a stressful day. The sesame bread with queso and jalapenos. / Each and every time I'm at a place with a kitchen. I love preparing my own food and going shopping for groceries. It's what I often miss on the road.
• A quiet apartment with a very comfortable bed and a TV with Netflix. Non-blinding lights. The height of luxury when you don't feel great.
• No Limit - a movie about freediving based on Audrey Mestre's life. Triggered a little internet deep dive.
• "Winds in the east / mist coming in / Like somethin’ is brewin’ and bout to begin." // A song from Mary Poppins that accurately describes the feeling of fresh inspiration, motivation, anticipation and hope for change.
• Arriving in Merida. A friendly taxista, the amazingly decorated house with high ceilings and art from all over the world. The hostess' granddaughter Victoria (4) built a castillo with me and sang for me, so cute.
• A late night vegan pita sandwich with grilled veggies.
• LED balloons. Sparkly. Fun!
• Remote Scrabble.
• Cracking my crunchy spine - feels so satisfyingly straightening.
• Visiting Wendy's juice bar. Talking to her about giving up fear. Just doing it. The illusion of safety.
• Ivan, an illustrator who invited me to his boardgame night. Pizza. Friends. New words. A cat. Lovely.
• An intuitive infatuation with the chef/owner (?) at Plants of Wonder in Merida. The wink. The voice. The presence. Yas.
• Found a tiny baby kitten. So light. Can't have weighed more than 200g. And the high pitched meowsies!!!
• Baby pink clouds at sunset.
• The crystal clear water of the Bacalar lagoon. My own private fish fan club. Diving down, watching the water surface from below.
• Giving advice I'd actually follow myself. Happy with my teachings. Now I only need to practice what I preach.
• Forgetting my phone at home (weird addiction going on at the moment and I don't like it so it was a welcome change)
• Manu sharing his Netflix account with me.
• Posting on Instagram for the first time in years, connecting with people because of it.
• The clear starry sky in Bacalar.
• Excellent vegan tacos/hot dog.
• The unexpected and phenomenal dance scene in Umbrella Academy ep. 3x01. Footloose. What.
• A quick sailing trip in the lagoon. Bonding with the captain. Sitting up front with a beer in my hand like a figurehead. Fresh pineapple. Stories about pirates.
• Not falling for the scam / fake priest from Chicago like the British dudes.
• Talking to neuroscientist Hanna in the hostel kitchen. About multipotentialism. Psychotherapy. Security.
• Arriving in Belize. After going crazy over all the misinformation and seemingly impossible way ahead of me. Enjoying the view from the boat. Friendly people. Caribbean vibes.
• Petting stingrays. Surprisingly soft and squishy.
• A hammock in the water.
• Pelicans. Flying towards me. Coming close. Making eye contact. Oddly majestic birds.
• A clear view of Jupiter over the Carribbean sea.
• TALK - Run Away to Mars
• Snorkelling in the Hol Chan marine reserve. I saw so many animals - manatees, a lobster, sharks, dolphins, tarpons, eagle rays and stingrays. Elaborate coral formations, a shipwreck. Lunch and rum punch on the boat and the friendly crew. We all got a drink at Sip'n'Dip afterwards. I watched the sunset with Sam and then we ran into the Germans again at dinner.
• A travel buddy to go to Guatemala with (Sam). Deep talk. Helping him break out of his hostel in the morning.
• Eating purple candy fully expecting to bite into disgusting grape flavor but it's nice blackcurrant instead.
• Travelling with Moana and Yuki.
• Following around the coatis at the Tikal ruins. Bonding with Steve.
• Swimming, sunset and socialising on Isla de Flores.
• The amazing restaurant at Los Amigos.
• 9hrs on the bus. Stopping at McDonald's. Getting a cheeseburger without meat. Worth it. Just for the pickle.
• The Semuc Champey grutas. Walking in with just a candle in your hand which created such a fantastic atmosphere. Swimming, climbing, jumping and sliding. / The river pools and the waterfall. Diving under a rock formation, fighting claustrophobia. Riding on the pickup truck standing up. The great view of the mountains and valleys.
• The view from Zephyr Lodge. Enjoying the pool and hot tub.