am i creating the distance i fear, i want a break in this relationship idk these things are hard, until i can get myself together and him too maybe cos im up late but its ironic as right now we're both dealing with insane home problems caused by our own decisions and mishaps that im thinking maybe a break while we both get through with what we need is best. i could cry cos i feel like crying writing this or maybe im being rash and trying to escape the reality im in like i brought these two together and now i must eliminate one while i can get a grasp on the other and sort my things out. what if we dont get back together then, i feel like proposing this but i should wait. maybe this feeling is temporary and only reserved for these late hours. i'll give hime back all his stuff and maybe signify that as a pause.