• [screams out car window]"WHERES THE AMERICAS?!"
• "i bought a camera [nikon coolpix] and i dont know how to use it. if it was in the olden days i would....do i need to buy film?"
• if only i could trust my car id go to victorias secret and get that computer bag."
• "im not stupid! i know how to read, i know how to click a button!"
• "its not really that bad, for the 30,000 dollars."
• "that bag looks like a hookers bag. if i was walking around with that bag, no one would think i was a hooker. ...unless hookers my age exist."
• i say 'cessories..
  
  i aint saying the word 'ass.'"
• "whats that minipool for?"

grandma: "for the dog!" "grandma, you dont own a dog!"

• "and later we can go to the uh home depot and pick up some macaroni and cheese there."
• Sarah: "my teacher gives out alot of F's... he doesnt believe in A's"

grandma: "AIDS? that stuffs going around, you know."

• my dad has a box he wants to cut open, asks my grandma "do you have a knife or razor?"

grandma: "why? what do you want me to do with it, start shaving?"