january

• back to uni, klausurenphase, trying to find a reason to stay alive, angry at everything, i want to start art journaling, thinking a lot about jungkook and namjoon, music

february

• music, free time, doing whatever i want, still feeling stuck, creativity, art journaling, reading, spending a lot of time alone, walking for hours through bookstores, libraries and cute shops while listening to my favorite music, met friends after a long time, girlhood, looking forward to ramadan, wanting to do better but struggling, namjoonification of my brain

march

• ramadan, crocheting, getting back into a routine, trying to build a new connection with god, feeling extremely ungrateful. do i want to sabotage myself? do i not want anything good for me? - depression, life altering events, watching hobi live for 12 hours, watching his concerts (comfort!!!), getting closer to my cousin again, started a new diary, hating work, holidays, thinking about all the shit i still have to do for uni but never starting, realizing that maybe it's okay to crash out, i did my best, it is what it is, don't take life so seriously

april

• back to work, touching grass in an attempt to cure depression, i think i feel better?, uni stresses me out, bts makes me happy, reading (i got a kindle!! yay!!), eating well and moving, my meds are working fine, i lost weight. classes. i hate my job and i'm thinking of making a change

may

• weight loss going well, i feel ugly, struggling a lot with productivity and skipping uni, thinking about the near future. i really wanna quit my job. hobi live viewing soon. making online friends and feeling loved. i'm reading alot and i love my kindle so much. family drama. trying to reconnect with god. jin's new album. listening to face. nervous about bts' comeback. hobi live viewing was amazing!

june

• family drama resolved, met my sister and niece, had an amazing eid with the whole family, cousins slept over, met bestie after 4 years again, spent a lot of time together, did an amazing job at my presentation, had the best festa week imaginable (staying up for taejoon + jikook discharge, 130625 livestreamed hobi seoul concert with jinkook performance, seeing yoongi for the first time and tannie reunion), thinking about going to hobipalooza, feeling nervous, bad mental health again due to religious guilt and being unable to reconnect with god, trying to get back into a gym routine, watching what i eat, trying to work on my research paper, amazing weather and i'm happy because of that, trying to get into new genres of music