You very much confuse me. Not emotionally, as you'd probably like to think. No, I've seen the way you act in multiple contexts and your behavior actually baffles me. I don't understand how you can profess such an allegiance to family, then turn around and use them as an excuse to get out of something unpleasant. I don't understand how you can just pretend uncomfortable/awkward past events just didn't happen, and not only to expect that everyone else will go along with it but that they'll be ok with that. I don't understand how you can claim to love someone, and simultaneously claim you are filled with Christian love, yet when that person upsets you, you can act in so hateful a manner. But mostly, personally, I don't feel you have ever been friends with me, and as I see no intention on your side to attempt it, I would thank you to stop pretending we are, until you sincerely understand what a friendship is, and want to be friends with me for me, and not yourself or someone else.