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  • a new employee, on seeing a small power drill: "Oh, if I'd known you guys had stuff like that here, I would've brought my blowtorch. To make french onion soup for lunch."
  • "Do you know what the limitations on what you can put in an envelope are?"
    • "What are you trying to send?"
    • "A blade. It's stuck open. The reason I'm sending it in the first place is because I can't close it."
  • "Hi!"
    • "Hi."
    • "How are you?"
    • "Fine! You?"
    • "CRAZY!"
    • "... ha ha... ha."
    • [awkward pause.]
    • "THIS PLACE MAKES ME SWEAT!"
  • [I walk into the lobby, see someone I take Great Pains to avoid & want to leave but I've already stopped to wait for the elevators ughhh.]
    • "Ready for the long walk home?"
    • ..."It's not that long a walk."
    • "hahaha. I know."
jul 29 2011 ∞
oct 13 2011 +