- Thursday, April 20th, 2017: Got a haircut. // I either failed - or barely passed - my last history quiz. // "u wanna come rub my back til I get sleepy then leave?" Laurel and I inevitably had sex.
- Friday, April 21st, 2017: My horoscope read, "It's not typical for you to be moving through life at such a slow pace, or to feel like doors are closing around you. This is just temporary - things will shift soon! Until then, do your best not to deal with rejection like a big baby." DRAG ME, DAMN. // Forced to wear a turtleneck to hide my hickey; no one knows Laurel and I are fucking again. It's nice to have our business stay our business. // Smoked by myself because I was anxious and I got way more anxious. Watched Laurel play GTA for a while until I just laid on my bathroom floor in an attempt to feel less high. // Took photos with Emma during golden hour.
- Saturday, April 22nd, 2017: Worked from 10AM-2PM and then went to a cute new coffee shop called "pHlour" off the Bryn Mawr stop, with Louis, Alyssa, Genna, Darshan, and Carol. Edited photos. // Work again from 7:30PM-9:30PM - took photos of the senior exhibit. // Got Starbucks afterward, Dominic was working and he gave me a discount. What a sweet man.
- Sunday, April 23rd, 2017: Brunch with Alyssa, Carol, Darshan, and Genna at Yolk. Went to pHlour again for five hours and worked on homework. Everyone disbanded when we got back, so I went on a walk by myself since the weather was so beautiful. Spontaneously rented a Divvy bike and biked the Lakefront Trail down to Lincoln Park and back. Basked in the golden hour and my own company. // Returned the bike after an hour and walked to the Starbucks off Bryn Mawr before walking twenty minutes home. // Summer by Benjamin Francis Leftwich. // Showered and ordered Indian food. // I guess I'll attempt this list again.
- Monday, April 24th, 2017: I went to my communications class for the first time in a while. // Left work early and took the train to Argyle and went thrift shopping by myself. $30 for an Adidas jersey (!!!), forest green polo, denim H&M button-up, a Banana Republic button-up, and Haruki Murakami's Wild Sheep Chase (!!!). // Library with Carol, Alyssa, Genna, and Laurel. Didn't do anything productive besides read (for pleasure) and dick around with Laurel. What's new. // "sorry I'm so mean to you. and wishy washy. and just generally the worst." "I just want you to come play with my hair forever and then expect nothing in return." // So many feelings for her but why is my mind on you?
- Tuesday, April 25th, 2017: Went to marketing, skipped sociology. I feel myself lapsing in and out of depression. All of my feelings are unexplainable. // Epic Burger for lunch with Alyssa, Darshan, and London. // I complain about stress but I spend my free time dicking around. Instead of going to sociology, I hung out with Carol, Alyssa, Genna, Taylor, and Laurel. Yeah, it was fun - but I didn't accomplish anything. I watched Laurel play GTA and wished that we were sitting closer. She went to bed at 8:30PM. I wish we were lying in bed together. // I didn't eat a lot of food today but I did eat Taco Bell for the first time in a while tonight and I feel like shit. I'm drowning my sorrows in food and I hate myself and my body. At least right now. I want to be skinnier. I want to be thin. Realistically, I know I'm thin. But I just want to be thinner.
apr 23 2017 ∞
may 13 2017 +