bambi

• what if you are someone who does not know when something is over? what if you are the last one standing when others have left the concert, the theater, the crime addled city, the busted love affair? What if you look for a sign and a sign doesn’t come. Or a sign comes but you miss it. What if you have to make a decision on your own and it feels like a body blow, falling back on yourself
• in another universe we sit across from each other at the kitchen table and go over the grocery list
• the number of hours we have together is actually not so large . Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.
• good things come and go

but they come

• the goldfinch said one of your closest friends will suddenly leave your life due to circumstances outside your control and you will enter young adulthood carrying with you the weight of the things you never said to them without realizing how heavy that is
• i like to pretend i already died and asked god to send me back to earth so i can swim in lakes again and see mountains and get my heart broken and love my friends and cry so hard in the bathroom and go grocery shopping 1,000 more times. and that i promised i would never forget the miracle of being here
• i am constantly trying to communicate something incommunicable, to explain something inexplicable, to tell about something i only feel in my bones and which can only be experienced in those bones
• I loved my friend. they went away. There's nothing more to say. The Poem ends,

Soft as it began-- I loved my friend.