why are you anxious?

• work
  • there's a changing culture and morale is getting to be very low. it's permeating every aspect of work and it's effecting my own morale as well.
• boy situation
  • i'm so future oriented that i want to know what's going to happen now. that way i can move on faster. my anxities are stemming from the fact that i don't know if my job will stay afloat or if i will ever find any type of romantic love.
• sociological reasons
  • the more i delve into the world of sociology the more enlightened i become and the more depressed i become. there is no happiness when you find out the world hates black people and women and you happen to be both.
• home situation
  • being at home is a source of stress because i feel confined because my privacy is always compromised. i'd be more open if they weren't sniffing around all the time.

how to fight this? HAVE HOPE.

• work
  • start fixing up resume and linkedin ~just in case~
  • always have a backup plan
  • take SSTK side projects seriously, for example: contributor analysis & competitive analysis
• boy situation
  • i'm beautiful and i secretly know it. i deserve love and it's okay to be selfish about that. one short boy is not going to be the end all and be all. i'm bummed it didn't work out (i actually have no idea if it didn't work out or not) but i'll find someone who's on the same page as me... and taller.
• sociological reasons
  • trying to save the world is killing me. i need to realize i can only educate a few and be proud that i changed a few lives but i should not assume all people are really that one sided and evil. there's good and bad in all people.
• home situation
  • move out. waiting around for them to do something is not healthy or helpful. once i hit 20K (?), i will move out to an apartment.