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because it is bitter, and because it is my heart

bookmarks:
lisa MUSIC
L movies (watched in 2026)
nessa wishlist (coveting... )
evelyn movies (shades of green)
mimi ☁ (currently)

— What is it about society that disappoints you so much?

— Oh, I don't know; is it that we collectively thought Steve Jobs was a great man even when we knew he made billions off the backs of children? Or maybe it's that it feels like all our heroes are counterfeit; the world itself's just one big hoax. Spamming each other with our burning commentary of bullshit masquerading as insight, our social media faking as intimacy. Or is it that we voted for this? Not with our rigged elections, but with our things, our property, our money. I'm not saying anything new. We all know why we do this, not because Hunger Games books make us happy but because we wanna be sedated. Because it's painful not to pretend, because we're cowards. Fuck Society.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

nov 2 2026 ∞
nov 2 2026 +
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rewatches ┊ ♡ favorites ┊ ✧ with m. | † horror

october

  • hocus pocus | 1993 ✧ ♡
  • verity | 2026 † ✧
  • the cyle | 2026 † ✧
  • buddy | 2026 † ✧
  • backrooms | 2026 † ✧
  • the faculty | 1998 † ✧
  • sinners | 2025 † ✧ ♡
  • hokum | 2026 † ✧
  • undertone | 2025 † ✧
  • scream 7 | 2026 †
  • heel | 2025 † ✧
  • the love hypothesis | 2026
  • the blair witch project | 1999 † ✧

september

  • little brother | 2026 ✧
  • the hangover part iii | 2013 ✧
  • the hangover part ii | 2011 ✧
jan 11 2026 ∞
nov 2 2026 +

la douleur exquise: the heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can't have.

l’appel du vide: refers to all of those indescribable instinctive urges to do something unimaginable that appear almost out of nowhere.

jolie laide: the uniqueness of someone's beauty, something atypical that challenges or isn't aligned with conventional beauty standards

oct 5 2018 ∞
sep 22 2026 +
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strangers that inspire me and relate through their lists

jun 2 2026 ∞
sep 22 2026 +
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reading

  • i ate the whole world to find you by rachel ang | 2025
  • the serviceberry: abundance and reciprocity in the natural world by robin wall kimmerer | 2024

read

  • the silent patient by alex michaelidis | 2019
  • universal love by alexander weinstein | 2020
  • the final girl support club by grady hendrix | 2021
  • the bell jar by sylvia plath | 1963
  • so thrilled for you by holly bourne | 2025
  • open wide by jessica gross | 2025
  • just like home by sarah gailey | 2022
  • listen for the lie by amy tintera | 2024
jan 12 2026 ∞
oct 12 2026 +
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  • fragonard emilie
  • fragonard lilas
  • fragonard belle de paris
  • gucci flora gorgeous jasmine
  • miss dior blooming bouquet
  • chloé

"For people could close their eyes to greatness, to horrors, to beauty, and their ears to melodies or deceiving words. But they couldn't escape scent. For scent was a brother of breath. Together with breath, it entered human beings, who couldn't defend themselves against it, not if they wanted to live. And scent entered into their very core, went directly to their hearts, and decided for good and all between affection and contempt, disgust and lust, love and hate. He who ruled scent ruled the hearts of men.” ― Patrick Süskind, Perfume: The Story of a Murderer.

aug 22 2025 ∞
mar 27 2026 +
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the easy and good life with you

  • turning silly sayings into "our thing"
  • the smell of his head
  • the way he holds a book while reading
  • his hands, always
  • when he suddenly looks at me, smiles and winks
  • telling me he loves me out of the blue
  • cuddling me to sleep every night
  • little dessert surprises ever so often
  • how he plays with his ring like a fidget toy
  • always spoiling me with little gifts
  • 'goodnight sweetheart'
  • tucking me in when i go for a nap
  • when he settles down on the sofa with his head on my lap
  • his little dimples that only appear once in a while when he shaves
feb 12 2024 ∞
mar 30 2025 +
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amanda ┊ 1990 ┊ libra ┊br-be

photos ┊movies ┊books ┊postcards ┊pins ┊games

"Não há guarda-chuva contra o tempo,rio fluindo sob a casa, correnteza carregando os dias, os cabelos." João Cabral de Melo Neto

may 23 2023 ∞
oct 23 2026 +
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"If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can warm me, I know that is poetry. If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry. These are the only ways I know it. Is there any other way?" ― Emily Dickinson

  • Love Poem (Feat. Chani Nicholas) by José Olivarez ♡
  • Poem Of The One World by Mary Oliver ♡
  • How We Disappear by Alessandra Olanow ♡
  • Anti-Love Poem by Grace Paley♡
  • How To Drink Water When There Is Wine by Barbara Kingsolver ♡
  • Trust by Margaret Noodin ♡
  • Yes, That's When by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer ♡
  • Hard Love Rock by Audre Lorde ♡
  • Fragments #26 by Trista Mateer ♡
  • The Nuisance by Marge Piercy ♡
  • To the Bone by Dorothy Allison ♡
  • Dear — by Donika Kelly ♡
  • When I'm away from you, I feel like the second-place winner in a bee-wearing contest by Aimee Nezhukumatathil ♡
jun 1 2026 ∞
oct 22 2026 +
  • the floating sensation when the diazepam hits. the calmness, peace of mind, happy thoughts and overall sense I can accomplish anything. of course the downside is that it fades quickly and then i just get sluggish and sleepy.
jul 2 2025 ∞
jul 2 2025 +
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JUST F ING DO IT!

body & mind

  • focus more on self-care
  • be consistent with my skin-care
  • try to start yoga or pilates
  • sensory chamber and spa

learning

  • start french classes
  • tap dancing

hobbies

  • improve my knitting skills
  • start embroidery and cross stitch
  • get back at doing collages
  • scrapbooking for memory keepsake
  • journaling and diary
  • finally start the photo blog
  • get back to playing AC until I designed the island of my dreams

literary

jan 13 2025 ∞
jan 12 2026 +
oct 23 2026 ∞
oct 23 2026 +
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♥ favorites ┊✧ with m. ┊ last season ┊ ↻ rewatch

watching

  • community | season 3 | 2011 ✧
  • mr. robot | season 2 | 2016 ↻
  • the creep tapes | season 1 | 2024 | ✧

watched

  • mr. robot | season 1 | 2015 ↻ ♥
  • carrie | limited series | 2026 | ✧
  • off campus | season 1 | 2026 ♥
  • community | season 2 | 2010 ✧ ♥
  • spider-noir | season 1 | 2026 ✧
  • community | season 1 | 2009 ✧ ♥
  • love is blind uk | season 3 | 2026
  • the bear | season 5 | 2026 ✧ ♥
  • bodkin | season 1 | 2024 ✧
  • emergência radioativa | limited series | 2026 ✧
  • from | season 4 | 2025 ✧
  • bait | limited series | 2026 ✧
  • rupaul's drag race all stars | season 11 | 2026 - didn't finish.
  • the boys | season 5 | 2026 ✧
jan 12 2026 ∞
nov 2 2026 +
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random names i go by

  • amy
  • monday
  • amanda cassidy
  • amanda darling dear
  • zelda zonk
  • esther greenwood
  • mariann twinette
  • amanita phalloids
jun 14 2026 ∞
jun 29 2026 +
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riding the ebb and flow of the crowd.

  • stars + broken social scene + metric | 16.09 | de roma, antwerp ♥
    • stars
      • i never ever dreamed of seeing this band live. have been listening to their albums since i discovered them through grey's anatomy episode, "elevator love letter" . they played it, i sang along screaming my heart out. it was magical.
      • torquil is the funniest, sweetest guy on stage. amy is just ethereal.
      • "i hope you believe in ghosts, because there's one on your shoulder" - procede to play dead hearts are everywhere
      • i got the pink special valentine's day vinyl edition of heart
    • bss
      • the comings and goings from all the musicians from the other bands playing togethe...
mar 24 2026 ∞
sep 27 2026 +
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belgium

  • brussels (current home)
  • antwerp
  • gent
  • brugge
  • louvain
  • louvain la-neuve
  • mons
  • dinant
  • some small villages in the ardennes
  • kortrijk

netherlands

  • amsterdam
  • the hague
  • delft

portugal

  • lisbon

france

feb 12 2024 ∞
sep 27 2026 +