- The more unhealthy, the more you seek for approval. I don’t know what this usual stereotype of IxTPs not caring about what other thinks of us, but it’s ridiculous. You totally can get there, but many of us do care about how people perceive us. The thing is that we mostly don’t care in an emotional way, it’s more of a need to fit in and feel like a part of something rather than wanting to be accepted and loved.
- Ergo, we are not hermits. If we have very toxic Fe, we may believe we are better off alone, push people away or just think there’s no way we could fit in anywhere. Funnily enough and contrary to popular belief, a lot of the time we don’t do it on purpose. Sometimes we don’t realize that we have marginalized our own selves until it becomes obvious to us.
- Our emotions are more present than our feelings. When we are aware or it becomes clear that we are ‘feeling’ something it’s mostly an emotion. They are short lived experiences. Our feelings aren’t really intense at all. We do have a much stronger ability to think than we do to feel. Our emotions, though, can be very intense. That’s why we can get really mad or upset but get over it soon. Our problems are solved quickly because they exist according to our emotions, not our feelings.
- Our Fe makes us feel lonely at times. Regardless of how many times an IxTP says they are completely okay with being isolated 24/7 (if they are), only someone who is seriously mentally ill would be okay with it. We can feel very alone sometimes or wish we had stronger Fe to be able to feel a part of something.
- The thing is sometimes we don’t push people away because our feelings are unconvenient or because we’d rather be alone. Sometimes it feels impossible for us to create real, strong bonds with other people and, as I said earlier, we end up isolating ourselves to an extent without realizing it. If the Fe is unhealthy, it’s not that we avoid human connections, it’s that we feel unable to create them.
- We suck at externalizing our feelings because of our weak Fe, that bit is true. But it’s not only in public. It’s not only being unable to show certain signs of affection because it’s not in our nature. It’s not only becoming aggresive because we are overcome with negative emotions. We also have trouble externalizing our feelings when we are alone. Some of us may sometimes fake cry when we are alone because we feel the need to match up our exterior with how upset we feel. Most of the times I have cried, it has been forced. This is just an example of the ridiculous coping mechanisms some of us have.
- While we have times when we have a lot of emotions, we also have times when we feel completely emotionally detached. Yes, we have times when even we feel like cold robots unable to correctly interact with people. This is unhealthy, but many of us have been there. I think (almost) every IxTP has gone through a period of their life where they just approached everything super rationally and didn’t even acknowledge that they had any sort of feeling or emotion.
- Whether we want to or not, we experience feelings in a completely different way than most people and sometimes what seems like a small amount of affection for others may seem like a big deal to us. I think this really relies on the amount of life/emotional experience you have had.
- Something nice on our side: We can mold and control how we feel most if not all of the time! When I’m sad or when I’m happy, all I need to switch my mood is to set in my mind that I could change my mood by listening to a different song or getting my mind off a certain topic. I think we mostly choose to be sad or happy depending on what resonates with us better at that moment. We have a huge capacity to manipulate how we feel. More than how we feel, how aware we are of it. We can disconnect ourselves from a certain feeling or our awareness to it easily.
- Last but not least: We do care. Differently, but we do. Maybe I just haven’t met the right crowd of people, but with most human beings, I’m not aware 24/7 of what they mean to me or how much I appreciate them constantly. You probably have heard that IxTPs will show they care by spending time with you or doing nice things for you rather than verbalizing how we feel. That’s true, basically because we can manipulate our words, but we mostly do what we want to do, so if we hang out with someone or do something nice for them, it’s because it pleases us to do so, and therefore, wether we are aware or not, we care.
nov 20 2016 ∞
nov 20 2016 +