this is inspired by a 75 minute conversation with my boyfriend tonight.

• i am not fine if i was silent for more than fifteen seconds before you asking.
• i am not fine if you had to ask if i was alright.
• i am not fine if my voice is shaking.
• i am not fine if i'm crying.
• i am not fine if i say, "i'm fine."
  • if i am actually fine, i'll use a different adjective.
• i am not fine if you've brought up my father.
• i am probably not fine if you've brought up my grandma, unless she's had a really good day.
• i am probably not fine if you've brought up how long it's been since i saw you.
• i am probably not fine if we're discussing a non-pleasant matter.
• i am likely not fine if we're in separate cities.
• i am likely not fine if it's going to be more than 24 hours before i see you again.
• i am not fine if you're on your way out of the country.
• i am not fine if it's the 12th and we're not together.
• i am likely not fine if i'm not talking.
• i am definitely not fine if it's the first week of the month.
• i am definitely not fine if you're joking about naked girls and/or sex. unless it's me being naked or me having sex with you. but even then, watch it.
• i am not fine if my lip is quivering. this only happens when i'm really, really not fine.
• i am not fine if we're discussing money.
• i am not fine if we're discussing a failed friendship.
• i am not fine if you've just made fun of me.
• i am not fine if my grandma's had a bad day.
• i am not fine if my mom has spent the last four hours yelling at me.
• i am not fine if you refer to my sort-of-ex as "the one." he has a name, and he is nowhere near "the one."

however, i may be fine, or even good, if:

• you've called me out of the blue, especially in the morning.
• you've texted me something silly.
• i get to see you soon.
• you tell me you're coming to visit.
• i've just finished watching a funny movie.
• i've just finished reading a really good book.
• i have something exciting going on tomorrow.
• i found some cute clothes at a good price. (:
• i discovered some new music.
• i did something nice for someone else.
• my cats are doing something funny/cute/silly.
• someone leaves a nice comment on my lj while we're talking.
• classes start again soon.
• there's a good woot today.
• i feel accomplished.