- 01 - stayed up until past 8 playing tetris and reading fic alternately, and thinking that it's really the worst thing to be suicidally depressed in addition to being an insomniac. like not being able to sleep is one thing, but having all that time to think of things. or being depressed and then not just being able to ignore it with sleep. i hate today. woke up at 10, stayed in bed until maybe 5 and then cleaned & vacuumed. was sketching when isabel started crying because she was sad which caused my mom to throw a bitchfit and there was yelling and it's just. stupid. today is very very bad. i haven't eaten in maybe 30 ish hrs but i'm not even hungry. just empty. david tried to talk to me, asked, "how are you?" and i just don't want to handle it today.
- 02 - got up at like 12. went out to eat dim sum with the sisters and read the driver's manual while eating. afterwards, sat in the car while tam and isabel went inside ross to keep reading. they came out at 3 30; drove to the licensing place to find out that they don't let you take the permit test there anymore. went to crossroads library & half priced books... tam got more movies so we came home and watched hot chick & dodgeball which went past midnight.
- 03 - finished watching dodgeball around 3 and then stayed on the laptop until 4. got up at 9 30 to get ready to go out to eat with tam and two of her friends, paja and angie. went all the way to federal way and ate all you can eat korean bbq for the first time. went to target nearby afterwards and got some gift bags that were a dollar/two and then went to daiso. got a jar for my 2013 memories thing and some other stuff, like the bunny & cat piggy banks. drove back to bellevue and dropped tam's friends off at eastgate P&R so they could get their car and then went to crossroads for boba. and half priced books; got like another 4 books. tam's friends came home with us; they dressed her up & put make up on her while i was decorating my room w/ the dream thing and photos. tam & friends left around 6 to go eat hot pot and karaoke-ing. dad made spring rolls. watched justice league movie with mindy & isabel, and tam came home after the movie ended and we were taking an intermission. mindy went to sleep; me & isabel watched city of ember. yes. the ending was crap. i can't believe they left sul.
- 04 - tried to watch why did i get married too but there was so much talking and no suspense so i gave up and am now updating my listography at 12 42. cheers. / stayed in bed most of the day.
- 05 - oddly got a fb message from david at 2 27, randomly checking my fb the same minute he sent it. coincidences are weird. it was a sorry excuse of a convo. i just don't really care about talking to anyone, even if i do miss him. it's 4 49 am. / went to eat dim sum for brunch and then tried to sleep but failed miserably. tam went to pick up two of her friends from the airport. they're sleeping over then leaving with her back to spokane in the morning. dad made really good bun bo hue. took a walk at 8? no stars out. that was disappointing. gonna watch juno.
- 06 - read some fic. work up to tam turning on the lights and moving her stuff out of my room to the car. she said bye, i went back to sleep. woke up again to tell my mum i wasn't going to chua and then stayed home. almost rushed out of the house at 3 before realizing there was no way i was going to catch the bus so i waited until my dad got home. went to 911 driving school at 4 20 ish, paid $20 and then took the written test. got 24/25; picking up my permit after school on tuesday :) yeah. got home; microwaved a frozen pizza and then more computer time. going back to school tmrrw, boo.
- 07 - schoooool. uh, went to all my classes. we started a badminton unit in gym; last sport we're doing. can't really remember much else. went home and then went to sleep around 6, woke up at 9, and then stayed up on my laptop until school the next day.
- 08 - so yeah. didn't sleep. read long fics. was really tired until 4th period because tyler!! so many smiles and small convos omg ;; pretty laid back 5th period too. pretty much just sat around talking to quincy while evan was doing his own thing. pretty good day until i went to the licensing place with my dad after picking up mindy and isabel. was there until like 4 and my picture turned out bad. came home and watched running man.
- 09 - skipped 2nd, researched in 4th a did a quick card for tyler. had a socratic seminar for the bluest eye in 6th. went home. ate. watched some stuff. went to sleep?? idk when. woke up at 8 and was like crap because i thought it would be later so i wouldn't be up as long. but no. went on tumblr and saw a funny video; ended up spending 2 or 3 hours watching the videos from the yt channel with pranks. yeah.
- 10 - stopped watching the prank vids at 1 40 ish. uh, went to sleep at 6... ended up waking up at 8 43 and was like oh shit class at 9?? and then ended but skipping photography class in addition to ceramics. yeah. went to 5th dressed similar to amelia earhart for extra credit in history and afterwards, went with quincy and three of his friends for ice cream at coldstone. got cheesecake and vanilla bean with almonds on top, yesss. also went to half priced books, which was right across from coldstone, while everyone else was ordering to pick up tam's books. but yeah. his friends - kat, kellen, and matt - were really nice? like we went to his car and they all automatically piled into his backseat and i was really confused because that's not how me and my friends are? we're always calling shotgun. idk if they felt awkward with me or were just polite or both but it was nice. went to play badminton for 90 mins afterwards then went home. ate and fell asleep after 8 but not sure when.
- 11 - woke up at 3am. and watched high society. prolly going to try to catch a power nap before getting ready for school. it's 7 30. / slept for half an hour and read some stuff, then got ready and went to 3rd period. had a sub so pretty much did nothing; should've stayed home. did some more research in 4th and 5th was boring and we did that final group quiz in 6th, and it was just very bad. i felt bad about what i wrote. 7th was okay and then i went home and semi-cleaned because hannah was coming over. she had to go back to school at 6 for a basketball game 'cause she's in the school band and taking the bus home only to take it back to school would've been pointless so yeah, she came over. we watched the hangover and ate and talked in my room and i walked her back to school. it was a clear night but freezing out.
- 12 - uh woke up early and watched some cartoons with mindy and kept falling in and out of sleep. mum finally woke up at 10 30 to teach me how to drive. we went around the school and i know it was only the first day but i sucked. we only practiced for like 40 ish minutes and then i came back home. laptop then went to sleep again. woke up to a text from david and then more internet before deciding to watch aladdin which turned to watching howl's moving castle with isabel while everyone else went to a small party. then more internet time, yes.
- 13 - ...went to temple but we had no classes since the "year" is over and it was a graduating ceremony of sorts. like there's class for vietnamese and one for buddhism and different levels and there's a test near the end of the year and yes. some parents came and they gave out certificates and then prizes to the students that scored the highest on the test. i didn't move up in either class because i'm in the higher classes, so our lessons are longer and take more than a year to go over. it's mostly for the kids and the older people like me, we whoop and clap and make a riot, pretty much. ended up getting a $30 prize for getting 2nd in this writing contest we had though, and one of my friends gave me a water bottle, which was the prize for the older kids (nice 3-pack water bottles). the little kids got gift bags w/ knickknacks and the writing contest was cash prize. classes prolly won't start for another month 'cause lunar new year's is coming up. went to lion dance practice but left 30 mins early because my mum was already there; she made spring rolls for everyone to eat after the cermony. got home and actually went to sleep kind of early? at 11.
- 14 - skipped 1st & 2nd. had a sub in 3rd again. 4th was a bad time, and 5th was okay. spent the entire talking to pardis because she was feeling unproductive and i am easily unmotivated. went home and ate and watched stuff. i should stop watching all of my regular shows the day they come out because that means i'm pretty much out of things to watch by tuesday, until after sunday. napped, then woke up and watched a movie.
- 15 - skipped 1st&2nd, had a sub in 3rd. been "writing" essays and just no.
- 16 - skipped 2nd; had 3 hours worth of english, which was me sitting around because i couldn't write anything.
- 17 - skipped 1st and 3rd. was going to go to photography but getting ready took too long because we were having a mock trial for history and you get extra credit if you dress up and i found a pro-looking dress that was like a high waisted black skirt and long necked white blouse fusion but i went through like 4 outfits before i found that? yeah. i was on the prosecution team and won. it was actually pretty fun? went to tutorial after badminton and gave my photography teacher cookies because he was out with the flu since last thursday. then sat around with ms. ogimachi and suffered over my essays with no work to show for it. 5 pages of drafts due tomorrow fml.
- 18 - skipped 1st & 2nd.
- 19 - saturday... had a family party so didn't go to the temple and help with the benefit dinner and apparently i missed out but not caring about people = not really caring about missing out on memories either. so yeah, my indifference is through the roof these days. i might even reach 7th grade level. but 7th grade was a bad time.
- 20 - chua. kind of boring. thien has renewed his hopes or whatever and is trying to show his feelings and he told kathy that he needs someone to love him and i'm that girl because he thinks i'm emotional or some shit and i just. no. stayed for lion dance practice. t'was really foggy on the drive home. it was nice.
- 21 - no school 'cause MLK day. left the house at 4 with sisters in tow to walk the trail to the blueberry farm and take pics. got sandwiches from subway, fed the ducks, got a drink from starbucks, and hung around at walmart until mum picked us up after she got home from work, which was around 7.
- 22 - had a thursday schedule because of so-called finals and i skipped 1st & 7th. it's 10 37 and i feel sick to the stomach and horrible and chest-pain achey and i just want to throw up and lie in the bathtub and not be me.
- 23 - skipped school.
- 24 - went to all of my classes because it was the last day of the semester for my thursday, odd numbered, classes. cleaned up in ceramics, finished up two missing assignments in photography, test in history, and gave back lockers and played badminton for multiple sports. going to miss the group of friends i played with in that class; hannah, jama, kamola, kate, christian, montana. they made it really fun. still have two essays due for tomorrow, when it'd be the last day of the semester for 2, 4, 6. have two class next semester. senior english 3rd & drawing/painting 4th, so i'll be at school 9ish - 11ish.
- 25 - stayed up until 4 on my laptop. ...watched porn for like an hour from 2 - 3. woke up for 4th & 6th because i skipped 2nd. we pretty much just had a ton of lab time to do final reflection questions, and i took the spare time after i finished early to work on my two essays. school got out early since it was a wednesday schedule, at 12 10 but i stayed afterwards. went to library and finished up my 6th p. essay on identity. somehow wrote like 800 words in 45 mins. i was impressed with myself. my 4th period satire essay was a day late and she graded it while i was in tutorial. got a raw score of 64/70 even though i thought it was horrible, which was a B+ and then a whole grade off for being a day late so c+ not bad though since i thought it was going to be a c paper anyways. like my last two paragraphs were two sentences each... idk what grade i'm getting on my identity paper yet, but stayed in her classroom for like an hour and bugged her about my grade. worked and turned in random assignments and somehow bumped my american lit grade to a 90.3% from a 73%. also got 50/50 on the two photography assignments i turned in late yesterday. he never gives out 50s. my highest grade before was like a 48 so i was happy. pretty okay with all my grades except for art/design. left that class with a D. 65%. because i've been skipping the past two weeks and missed the final assignment. still, boo.
- 26 - mum took me out driving in the morning at marymoor for an hour. it was fun and got to drive on the main road for a little while too. not bad for my second time driving. david wanted me to come over and hang out and sleep over and i was going to but at 12 i was like ugh i don't want to leave the house so i didn't. not regretful of it, but it would've been nice to see him. it's a shame we don't live closer. currently re-watching sesame player. when i first watched it, L was my bias and now it's hoya so. yes. new things to notice. just took a bath and everyone went to some family party so i'm just going to relax and watch movies by myself.
- 27 - read fic in bed until my mum took me out driving again. drove all the way home from marymoor park! then got ready and went to chua. we spent a ton of time cleaning out the dq today and it was pretty fun. talked to dennis a lot and minh was there! he missed chua for a good +month. had a lesson on meditation, and then lion dance practice. thien asked me out on a date. like only one date, and then we could be friends or lovers. his words. but i said no anyways because i don't do pity dates, even if it would get him off my back. that's not fair to him either, letting him think he has a chance when he really doesn't. also issuing an ultimatum to get a date? not cool. home now, and still haven't talked to my parents about the school situation because they left to go to a party as soon as i got home.
- 28 - no school. pretty much stayed in bed all day.
- 29 - first day of the semester. had a sub in eng class so we just did a grammar pre test. art, we did a get to know each other activity. then i went to crossroads and applied for ivar's. and checked out a ton of dvds from the library, and got some books.
- 30 - staying home from my art class. told my parents about my schedule. need to do laundry later, and then going to watch some movies probably. need to dl songs too. hoping to get a call. our first lion dance perf is on the 2nd.
- 31 - woke up, read some fic, went to 3rd. had to do a meet and greet; basically went around and found one thing in common with all the people in my class to help with names. got a 92 on that paper i sped through and didn't reread because it was horrible. ended the class with a B, which is okay i guess considering how i skipped the first big essay and half of my assignments. still kind of disappointed though. got home, ate, fic, vids. watched the last song with isabel and cried because a dad with cancer. going to start a movie marathon. cheers.
jan 1 2013 ∞
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