and there is so much hurt and anger pent up inside of me, with no one to listen or to care. it sits uselessly, trapped forever in my chest and struggling towards the surface, pushing my breath out of the way until those breaths are gone and it's just gasps upon gasps upon gasps. i look for love in handsome faces and pretty smiles, because that is where my mind believes i can find a companion, someone to hope with and to hope for. but yet, these faces and smiles turn away, to other faces and smiles that bloom back at them in the way mine can't or won't. i feel so much and too much to the point where it just boils back down to the the hurt and anger. the two and i are one and the same.