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• First of all: I'm unable to express my own feelings in some way that I can understand them. So... broken english, here we go again. (I think that I'm afraid of facing my own feelings. That's all).
• Ah, sometimes I wonder if I'm really feeling sad. And when I see myself, unable to smile with honesty, unable to talk, unable of staying wth someone, in the same room, without feeling that I'm out of this earth... when I see that there's no one I want to talk to and there's nothing that could cheer me up, no words, no sound, no one, when I just refuse to sleep because I'm trying to escape that thought, that thing inside my head that says sleep, my small, briefly, indulgent death, please come to me, qickly, and don't leave me waiting for hours while I kill myself between the bed and sheets... that's the moment where I'm finally able to say it: yes, I'm sad.