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The world is my teacher; I am her disciple. I seek to continuously push the bounds of my own existence.

"Ad Astra per Aspera"
"Through hardship to the stars."

"...a horizon is nothing save the limits of our sight."
"Life is Eternal" by Rossiter W Raymond

Amanda follows:
sarahbear notes (Horticulture)
people (Fashion Inspiration)
people (Art Inspiration)
about me (Things I Love)
Things (I am thankful for...)
  • shirt smells musky. Lil sensual amber
jun 20 2015 ∞
jun 20 2015 +
  • Last night I had one I hadn't had in a month or so. It was set in this dystopian location where I was soldier. We had just finished initiation; another battle was approaching. A former previous love interest, along with some friends, were with me. The battle was brutal and a lot of people had their heads blown off or were simply gunned down by an unnamed and unseen enemy. After the battle I was being accessed at a doctor's office (last time I had this dream, I was just at the doctor's office). A lot of people I knew and loved had died and I didn't even want to go because I didn't see the point. I also realized I had some unresolved feelings concerning some who had died and it was too late. I was so numb I didn't even fight going to the doctor's. There were like 9 panels (mental health, orthopedics, general physical, etc) of ways to be inspected and ...
jun 7 2015 ∞
jun 18 2015 +
  • Donate a piece of artwork to the Cottage, a sexual assault center that hosted group therapy for me and five other incredible women
jun 6 2015 ∞
jun 6 2015 +
  • how many times is it possible to attend Fuzzy's until my order is memorized?
  • what if people had over their heads the number of miles they had traveled for that day?
jun 6 2015 ∞
jun 6 2015 +
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  • scuba dive certification
  • surf
  • run a 5K
  • learn how to ride a bike
  • learn Qigong
  • experience my 20s without a wheelchair
  • develop a curriculum and teach a class to young kids at my church
jun 6 2015 ∞
jun 6 2015 +
  • I haven't figured it out yet.
jun 18 2015 ∞
jun 18 2015 +
  • 2o years and counting
  • lesbi-honest here...i really like women. like a lot a lot (a lot).
  • excellent at projecting an outward image of pseudo-intelligence but i honestly have NO idea whats going on or how to make sense of it
  • i am interested in robotics, philosophy, art (impressionism and the outsider art movement), (finger)painting, reading, writing, fedoras
  • hyper in general. life excites me so much. so hyper(emotional/sensual/experiential/etc. all apply)
  • college student studying Mathematics
  • am I satirizing myself? most definitely.
jun 6 2015 ∞
jun 6 2015 +
  • try that painting thing where you attach balloons filled with paint and use darts to break them
  • art exhibit in the coffee pubs
  • art garden
jun 6 2015 ∞
jun 28 2015 +
  • Actuary
  • Computer programmer
  • Ideally, I would be a chaplain at a children's hospital, but I guess maybe it's just stupid? Pointless? I started with all these great aspirations; am I settling? Am I working hard enough? Am I "depressed?" (Not a good enough explanation for me.)? I just remember a car almost running me over-- and I just felt numb. Not scared. I moved of course. So I want to live. I just don't what comes next after death, what comes next after my graduation, what comes next after semester.
jun 18 2015 ∞
jun 18 2015 +
  • skinny dipped in a famous fountain on my campus
  • kissed in the rain
  • Target icee & popcorn
  • developed a taste in music
  • made friends I trust, love and admire
  • maintained healthy friendships and renounced toxic ones
  • discovered a spiritual community I love
  • (several times) went to a gun range and shot a gun (9 mm and 20 mm pistols)
  • actively working towards recovery
  • group therapy
  • white water rafted class IV rapids
  • approaching real adult romantic love
  • insomnia (cookies) and the real thing
  • am I a master to my pain or its slave?
  • excuses, excuses, excuses
  • 2 AM adventures and walks
jun 6 2015 ∞
jun 6 2015 +
  • sitting super close next to a woman when you're both wearing shorts and you can feel her leg next to your leg and it's so soft and intoxicating
  • ladies' perfume, so distracting
  • running hands through hair
  • whispering in ears
  • holding hands
  • listening to a heart beating
  • tears
jun 6 2015 ∞
jun 7 2015 +