language puns

• what did the confused egg say? "i don't andaastand."
• don’t be sad because sad spelled backwards is das und das ist nicht gut
• what did the dog say to the wall? wolwol

pop culture

• one time i got a fish and my dad made me name it james pond
• do you think hannibal uses pepper spray when he attacks people so they’re pre-seasoned
• what’s whitney houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEE

science

• i think i lost an electrion i better keep an ion that
• astronomers got tired after watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours so they decided to call it a day
• two red blood cells met and fell in love, but it was all in vein.
• they told me i had type a blood, but it was a type o.

etc

• on my tombstone please write “Not appreciating my puns when I was alive was a grave mistake”
• An AU set in a gold mine in Australia. An Au Au AU.
• people on the internet are so great… we all just seem to click
• did you hear about the guy who sent in ten puns to a joke contest in the hopes that one would win, but no pun in ten did.
• energizer bunny arrested. charged with battery.
• broken pencils are pointless.

and this stupid joke, just because

• knock knock. who's there? urine. urine who? urine secure. don't know what for.