I think it's time to pave my road to redemption. There's been A LOT of fog in my head regarding beliefs and spirituality.

Everyday I find a moment in the day that nudges me to keep going.

I pray that my judgment is taking me in the right direction.

One thing I gave up when I left Atlanta is having clear direction - someone to tell me what to do, to decide where we're going and how long we'll be there. While I was there, I knew nothing else, so I naturally wanted something better.

Now I have the "freedom" to do what I want to do but the weight of his problems are slowing me down. Could that be a good thing? If he had everything he needed and I had what I needed, would we be able to handle it?

I like that he wakes up early to drive. This shows that he does have discipline and is aware of his abilities and responsibilities.

I can appreciate the time to myself. As it gives me a chance to get out of bed, due to the absence of his typical morning soundtrack of Joe Rogen podcasts, Star Trek episodes and game controller mashing that lullabies me to sleep.

~

One thing I gave up when I left Atlanta is having someone say GOOD JOB - ok, let me not be dramatic. He does tell me he's proud of me. He says good job and it makes me smile, bc its starting to happen more often and less predictably, which shows me that its genuine. And makes me question what makes him think about it.

Honest sentences (GO) I miss ReVaughna. I like the current weather in California. I can't imagine 2019 being over. I'm starting to feel different at the end of the year. I miss making vision boards, so maybe I'll make one. I kinda miss Sam. I need to buy new sneakers. I can't wait to buy my next Amazon box. I need to study my relationship with food and cooking.