- I want to make sure that my lifestyle choices are healthy for me, or at least not detrimental to my health.
- I don't want to be in VA this time next year. I refuse to be. I think staying where we are now is appropriate for another few months. We should have a goal date to move somewhere new. There may not be many options at the moment, but I'm hoping a full time job that feeds my natural passion pops up between now and next summer, so we can be living somewhere else that's healthier and more spacious for us
- being away from family is becoming easier for me. i enjoy having the freedom to focus on me and not distract myself with things that don't really make me happy - or that make me happy in a way that feels appropriate for me based on how comfortable i feel around my family - because of this, i want to think of something to do for them for the holidays - i really think a detailed letter would be nice, but then again, saying a lot about myself just doesn't feel natural or right. i want to keep the cord cut between me and them psychologically. i want to let them heal and pursue their goals, while i continue to pursue mine. what role will they play in my journey? i'm not saying i never want to see them again, but i believe the longer i'm gone the more they'll be able to focus on their own, personal growth and relationships. i'll let them know when the positive things happen with my career, but nothing else feels like it's worth talking about. is this how people feel out there - the ones that have their immediate families by their side one step at a time but also feel alienated from them - speaking of that, I'm excited to grow my new friendships and continue to foster the ones that mean most to me. one thing that i'm learning to accept is the fact that my close-knit "circle" - which was really always just me and my sisters is not the same. my parents have always been in the dark about how i feel - this isn't something that i'm proud of but rather something that happened naturally. there's a freedom that i craved outside of my life with them and i owe it to myself to discover it - even if they doubt my ability to do so.
nov 29 2019 ∞
dec 5 2019 +