i know i took the path that you would never want for me / i know i let you down, didn't i?

general info

• name: jellal fernandes
• nicknames/aliases: siegrain
• source: fairy tail
• pronouns: he/him
• biggest comforts: literally the entirety of crime sorciere (especially ultear & meredy though) and erza
• brief description: would kill a man for meredy

CONTENT WARNINGS

• brainwashing
• murder
• death
• child slavery
• abuse

memories:

• i don't remember much of my family. i may have had an actual twin called siegrain, although i'm not 100% certain about that.
• millianna was the first person i spoke to at the tower. she was crying, and i comforted her.
• i was very close to millianna. i saw her as a little sister.
• simon and i were also good friends. us and erza were together a lot. we were all the same age, so i suppose that made us relate to each other.
• one time millianna got too close to the monsters that the guards kept, and it tried to bite her. i got in the way and was bitten instead. it got infected and i was very ill for a while, however everyones else helped me recover so i made it.
• brain 'introduced' ultear to me, and she started to stay around the tower a lot. i found her amusing and thought of her as being more on my level than the others— although i still thought i was above her.
• brainwashing worked in a way that it didn't completely take control of your body and use you like a puppet. it gave you suggestions, and manipulated you into thinking they were your ideas, and what you wanted to do. that's part of why i found it impossible to accept that it wasn't really my fault, because it felt like my ideas.
• i used to play really cruel pranks on the others at the tower, but everyone except for simon thought i was just messing around.
• after natsu beat me i redirected the magic into the sky to save erza and everyone else. i also gave her that vision of her own funeral, with the hope that it would show her how missed she'd be if she died.
• my memories didn't return all at once. it was gradual and took around a year for them all to come back.
• when ultear and meredy first came to rescue me i refused to go with them. however, they used magic to knock me out and took me away anyway. to be honest though, i'm not sure how they managed to break in or out.
• it was around winter time when they rescued me, and they were using this little log cabin in the middle of a forest as a safe house. we stayed there together for a few weeks while i recovered.
• ultear explained her part in everything, but i didn't blame her. she was quite surprised by that. i think she was expecting me to be angry. i remember her saying that i could do whatever i wanted to her as revenge and she wouldn't resist. obviously i didn't want to do anything to her.
• i tried to get away from meredy and ultear a few times to go back to prison, but every time either they stopped me, or i changed my mind and returned.
• it was meredy's idea to start up crime sorciere.
• meredy knew a lot of first aid, and if we got hurt during battles she'd fix us up. at first i wouldn't say if i was hurt because i didn't want to be a bother, but after a while she got annoyed and made a sense link with me to make sure i was telling the truth. it was the first time she'd made one with me, so it was quite surprising.
• there was some tension between ultear & i at first, with both of us having guilt complexes the size of a mountain, but as we got used to each other again the tension dissipated.
• ultear & meredy became like sisters to me. i loved them a lot

found:

• millianna, meredy, mirajane