- Buff
- 350 pounds minimum, over 6'10''
- Preferably a football player
- Must be able to bench press me
- Heavy drinker
- May or may not be addicted to cocaine
- Physically abusive
- Dogfighter
- Staunch conservative
- Idolizes Glenn Beck
- Hates "Democrat fuckers"
- Very, very, very Christian
- Rich
- Has impressive porn collection
- At least 30 hours of jailtime
- Lots of tattoos
- Racist
- Sexist
- Hobbyist car jacker
- In a gang
- Lots of facial hair
- Balding
- cn't spel r rit gudd
jan 1 2011 ∞
feb 14 2011 +