- Because life is all about cycles. And life, with its deadly surprises and unassuming horrors, with its mysteries and miseries, just goes on and on and
- And stay hydrated? Get some rest? Did he not hear me when I said I can barely sleep? When I said the dreams I’ve been having when I do sleep make me wake up even more exhausted than before? And then there’s this throbbing, red rage I feel sometimes. I’m normally such a sweet person, a Good person, but sometimes this rage makes it impossible for me to function.
- Maybe I should try journaling. Get my thoughts in order. Clear up some of this fog swirling around my head. It's almost tempting to laugh at such a banal solution, but … maybe it would help?
- Beginnings are hard. Sometimes you can’t tell if something is actually Beginning or if you’re just sleep deprived.
- I think I need this. I need a reset. I need to get back to myself. To Mary. Remember who I am. Why I’m Good and not useless. Why I’m not some decaying corpse in the mirror.
- That’s the problem with these journals: they’re too nice. They put too much pressure on whatever you write to be worthy. And, as I’m so often reminded in my darkest thoughts, worthy is not something I’ve ever been used to thinking I am.
feb 7 2026 ∞
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feb 7 2026 +