• Barney: "It's gonna be legend—and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!"
• Barney: "SUIT UP!"
• Barney: "You're gonna miss out on a lot of awesome stuff. You'll be at home with the kid while I'm out awesomeing..all over the place."
• Barney: "I thought I was your best friend. Ted, say I'm your best friend!"
• Ted: "You're my best friend, Barney." Barney: "Good! And as your best friend I suggest we play a little game I like to call "Haaaaave you met Ted?"
• Barney: "Whaddup!"
• Barney (with fingers): "Ted, Ted, Ted, right here!"
• Barney: "Phone five!"
• Barney: "De—wait for it—nied!
• Barney: "..because after 2am is when things get—audience say it with me—LEGENDARY."
• Ted: "No, it's not an adventure, it's a mistake!" Lily: "Okay, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yep, that was a mistake.' So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you'd go your whole life not knowing if something is a mistake or not. And dammit, I've made no mistakes! I've done all of this..my life, my relationship, my career, mistake-free. Does any of this make sense to you?" Ted: "I dunno, you said mistake a lot."
• Lily: "Oh no, Ted! You're blazer!" Ted: "What, what, what?" Lily: "Somebody spilled gorgeous all over it! Love it!"
• Marshall: "Oh I had this move, so I came here to bust it!"
• Marshall: "Oh, this hornet's nest looks harmless. Maybe I'll poke it with a stick."
• Marshall: "Ted, think about it this way. If you knew that you were going to lose your leg tomorrow, would you sit on the couch and cry about it or would you run and jump and do some awesome air kicks while you still could?"
• Marshall: "You set this up, you set this whole thing up!" Barney: "I most certainly did--!"
• Marshall: "Conformity: It's the one who's different that gets left out in the cold. This is a motivational poster?"
• Barney: "Now, I suppose you could love yourself for the unique little snowflake that you are OR you could change your entire personality which is just so much easier!"
• Barney: "Marshall, I should feel tremors of psychitude rock my body like a seizure. That was like a declawed, pregnant cat on a porch swing idly swatting at a fly on a lazy, Sunday afternoon."
• "Erickson, that was steak sauce!"
• Ted: "Listen, I've been thinking. Nutter Butters are an underrated cookie."
• Marshall: "Catch ya on the flip. Bop pop it!"
• Barney: "So Robin, you ever have a report on train wrecks? Cos I just saw one. Whaddup! Tiny five!"
• Barney: "Come on, Lily! How many women can say they've been serenaded by Korean Elvis?" Lily: "I think he just spat on me a little."
• Barney/Marshall: "Come on, if you don't laugh, it just seems mean."
• Barney: "Slut up!"
• Barney: "Don't piss off the universe. The universe will slap you."
• Barney: "Ted, this is funny..still funny, still fun--and now it's sad."
• Ted: "Look, I should run. I'm getting brain surgery from some guy who's seen a couple episodes of ER."
• Druthers: "In fact, I overheard your iPod talking and he may shuffle off at any minute!"
• James: "Oh he is fab--don't you go nowhere--ulous!"
• (High School) Marshall: "Bro, have you heard this new song? I just got the ca-single!"
• Ted: "Okay, maybe so. But it's no worse than you using the word 'literally' in every other sentence." Barney: "Don't they teach vocabulary in Canada?" Marshall: "They literally don't. They literally don't!"

Favorite Episodes: Pilot Best Prom Ever Arrivederci, Fiero20 Slapsgiving3x11

As an honorary single lady myself.