- Getting grass stains
- Locking people out of the car and pretending to drive away
- Finding money you didn’t even know you lost
- Waiters and waitresses who bring free refills without asking
- Being the first table to get called up for the dinner buffet at a wedding
- Blowing your nose in the shower
- Picking the perfect nacho off someone else’s plate
- When you pull to a red light and the guy in front of you nudges up a bit so you can make a right turn
- Eating the last piece of dessert somebody left at your house
- Wearing underwear just out of the dryer
- Old, dangerous playground equipment
- Anything that can grow wings
- The smell of gasoline
- Flossing
- Sleeping in new bed sheets
- Any food that requires Wet-Naps and a stack of napkins to eat
- Real-bearded Santas
- Barbecue lighters
- Living with someone who doesn’t mind killing spiders
- Building a stack of pancakes that looks just like the front of the box
- The day when you first realize you can drive
- When someone offers to toss your dirty clothes in with their load of laundry
- Being the guy on the construction crew who gets to hold the Stop sign
- Strategic trick-or-treating
- Planning for snoozes
- Being the first person into a really crowded movie theater and getting the prime seats
- The telephone
- Using Rock-Paper-Scissors to settle anything
- Sneezing three or more times in a row
- Rain hair
- When cashiers open up new check-out lanes at the grocery store
- When someone tells you that you have something in your teeth
- Neighbors with pools that they let you use
- The first shower you take after not showering for a really long time
- Your pillow
- Using Q-Tips the way you’re not supposed to use them
- Somebody flashing their high beams at you to warn you about the cops
- The Universal Fry-Sharing Policy
- Terrible businesses run by children
- Sweatpants aka track pants aka jogging pants
- The smell of rain on a hot sidewalk
- Perfect parallel-parking on the first try
- Eating cookies like Cookie Monster
- Adrenaline
- The first scoop out of a jar of peanut butter
- Wearing sandals when you shouldn’t be wearing sandals
- Intergenerational dancing
- Finally getting a piece of popcorn that’s been stuck in your teeth all day out
- Eating foods you loved when you were a kid
- A really cold glass of water on a really hot day
- Watching ‘The Price Is Right’ when you’re at home sick
- Doing anything that makes you feel like a caveman
- Getting a trucker to blow their horn
- Snow days
- Getting the eyelash out of your eye
- Hitting a bunch of green lights in a row
- When you’re really tired and about to fall asleep and someone throws a blanket on you
- The moment at a concert after the lights go out and before the band comes on stage
- When there’s leftover cake in the office kitchen
- Having a whole row by yourself on the plane
- Hanging your hand out the window of a car
- Getting served breakfast in bed
- When you arrive at your destination just as a great song ends on the radio
- Bakery air
- Peeling an orange in one shot
- Using all the different shampoos and soaps in someone else’s shower
- When you manage to squeeze enough toothpaste out for one last brush
- Roasting the perfect marshmallow (for me this means setting it on fire)
- Flipping through the entire bank of posters at the mall when you need to kill time
- Multitasking while brushing your teeth
- The smell of frying onions
- Playing old-school video games
- Getting something with actual handwriting on it in the mail
- When the only other person going up in the elevator is going to the same floor as you
- Orange slices at half-time
- Taking your shoes and socks off after a really long day
- Bowling celebrations
- Talking about how much the meal you’re eating at home would cost at a restaurant
- High fiving babies
- Paying for something with exact change
- A plunger when you really need one
- Ugly actors
- A good floss after a tough steak
- When someone lands on the hotel you just built in Monopoly
- Getting piggy-backed anywhere
- The Parking Lot Pull Through
- The smell and sound of a campfire
- Getting in a line just before it gets really long
- Taking your bra off after wearing it for hours
- Facial hair experiments
- The Five Second Rule
- The feeling of scrunching sand in your feet
- Finding out your birthday is on a Friday or Saturday next year
- When you get the milk to cereal ratio just right
- Slurping hot soup on a cold night
- Snow stepping
- Snow falling on Christmas eve
- When the gift receipt is already in the box
- Mastering the art of the all-you-can-eat buffet
- The Perfect Egg Crack
- The Laugh Echo
- When the vending machine gives you two things instead of one
- Playing with a baby and not having to change its diaper
- The other side of the pillow
- Getting the big corner stall in the public bathroom
- When you cut off your disgusting big toenail
- Crying
- When your microwave pops microwave popcorn perfectly
- The smell of the coffee aisle in the grocery store
- Your family car growing up
- Absolute perfect silence (especially just after it snows)
- The fetal position
- Old folks who sit on their porch and wave at you when you walk by
- Old, classic board games
- Sneaking McDonald’s and hiding the evidence
- Good escalator etiquette
- Celebrities on Sesame Street
- Getting out of the car after a really long trip
- When the socks from the dryer all match up perfectly
- When the categories on Jeopardy! are right in your wheelhouse
- Popping Bubble Wrap
- Really good candy with your bill at a restaurant
- The smell of freshly cut grass
- Pushing those little buttons on the soft drink cup lid
- When you push the button for the elevator and it’s already there
- Building an amazing couch cushion fort
- Pouring a drink where the bubbles go right to the top but not over
- Finally having your ears pop back to normal long after a flight or swim
- When someone names their kid after you
- Smiling and thinking of good friends who are gone
- Remembering what movie that guy is from
- Finding the TV remote after looking forever
- When you find out what was making that horrible smell and get rid of it
- When there’s still time left in the parking meter when you pull up
- When the public bathroom has paper towels instead of hand dryers
- Making it out of the bathroom at work before anyone realizes you made it smell that way
- The Take a Penny, Leave a Penny bowl
- When the dentist says you have no cavities
- Doing something half-assed at the last minute and getting away with it
- When the late-night pizza order arrives really, really early
- When you nudge the person snoring next to you and it makes them stop
- Cheesy theme songs from 80’s sitcoms
- Museum gift shops
- When you’re drowning and then a dolphin comes to your rescue
- Getting off an airplane after a long flight
- Returning to your warm and comfy bed after getting up to pee in the middle of the night
- New Socks Day
- Coming home after a long day to the smell of someone cooking dinner
- That one really good pen that never gets lost
- Ducks
- The smell of crayons
- Gym pain
- Your favorite old, comfy T-shirt
- Watching something download really fast
- Getting a splinter out of your finger
- Backseat car windows that go down all the way
- When all the blood rushes to your foot after it was asleep for a while
- Seeing a cop on the side of the road and realizing you’re going the speed limit anyway
- The sound of rain from inside the tent
- People you don’t clean up for when they visit
- All the food that comes out of a cow
- Your eyebrows
- Getting the armrest at the movie theater
- Seeing someone laugh in their sleep
- The extra time you get when the clocks roll back
- Getting recognized for doing something you love
- Falling asleep in the backseat of a car late at night on the drive home
- When you know all the buttons to speed through the automated telephone system
- Mixing cookie batter with your bare hands
- Squeezing through a door as it’s shutting without touching it
- Getting into a bed with clean sheets after shaving your legs
- When someone unjams the photocopier for you
- Reading the nutritional label and eating it anyway
- When you’re watching one of your favorite movies and you realize you don’t remember how it ends
- Watching your odometer click over a major milestone
- When you spill something on your shirt and it doesn’t leave a stain
- Waking up before your alarm clock and realizing you’ve got lots of sleep time left
may 12 2009 ∞
may 12 2009 +
may 12 2009 +