If God forgives me then I am truly built of shame. What better form of repentance than to suffer? I am not alive if I am not being punished. I am not alive if I am not truly afraid of God. If God asks me to take my own life, then I will do so. If God had sentenced me to death, then I will accept it. I am aware than I am no different than man. We are all humans, not monkeys. We are human, and we are conscious. Therefore, we know the meaning of suffer. I am afraid of sin because I am mortal, but I am none other than a hypocrite. Those who fear sin fear their selves. Greed, Glutton, Lust? Sin cannot be justified, and I am so full of it. The human species derives from sin. We ask for forgiveness from God, but God is merely faith. We seek faith from what we have tainted. We punish ourselves with what we have caused. Will God forgive me nonetheless? I may accept death, but I am afraid of it. Because I am no different than a man. I am a sinner. If I die, then I expect hell. But if I have not sinned then will I be taken to heaven? It is hard to believe that such a place called heaven exists. For l am a man and not a monkey. lam made to sin, and I am made to repent. I was given a life to suffer under the lessons that God entrusts me to go through. A monkey is a living being, a monkey is not aware of such a concept named God! But I am a human and not a monkey! I am a subject of punishment and I desire freedom! But do I truly deserve forgiveness if I don't even acknowledge my role?! I believe in God because I am poor! I am a helpless soul in need of salvation! I sin for I desire shame! Oh God, dear God. I am truly afraid. I am a shameful being. I cant accept such punishment. Put me in my place and tell me that I am a human. Not a monkey.