• who is josh groban KILL YOURSELF!! he is an angel sent from heaven to deliver platinum records unto us. if he were here, i would club ya to death with his critics choice award. - sandy ryerson
• i will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. i will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. and then, on some dark, cold night i will steal away into your home and punch you in the FACE. - sue sylvester
• but provide what exactly? the understanding that money is the most important thing? or the idea that the only live worth living is one you’re truly passionate about, will. - emma pillsbury
• those skirts are crunchy toast! santana lopez bent over in her’s the other day and i swear i could see her ovaries. - noah puckerman
• get ready for the ride of your life will schuester. you're about to board the sue sylvester express. destination: horror! - sue sylvester
• you'll be adding revenge to the long list of things you're no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't make you look like a lesbian. - sue sylvester
• Sue: you're too busy chasing tail and loading your hair with enormous amounts of product. today, it just looks like you put lard in it.-__sue sylvester__
• all i want is just one day a year when i'm not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties. - sue sylvester
• while they were in there, i told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. wasn't using them. - sue sylvester
• mrs. hitchens: who do you think i am?

sue: that's a very good question because i've forgotten both your names.

• i'll admit it, i'm madly in love with finn. - kurt hummel
• we all know i'm more popular than rachel... and i dress better than her. - kurt hummel
• kurt: i wanna try out for the wicked solo.

will: kurt, there's a high F for it. kurt: that's well within my range.

• my body is like a rum chocolate souffle. if i don't warm it up right, it doesn't rise. - kurt hummel
• i'm gonna do everything i can to be a good father. - finn hudson
• i love the days when i don't wear underwear. full commando! - noah puckerman
• it was a message from god: rachel was a hot jew and the good lord wanted me to get into her pants. - puck
• that rachel chick makes me wanna light myself on fire, but she can sing. - puck
• Cougar: Is that a nipple ring?

Puck: Yeah. I'm pretty rock 'n roll.

• Rachel: I was wondering why you asked me to help you with your singing.

Finn: Well, this is my only chance to be, you know, good like you.

Rachel: You think I’m good?

Finn: Well, when I first joined, I thought you were kind of insane. I mean, you talk a lot more than you should, and to be honest with you, I looked under the bed and made sure that you weren’t hanging out under there. But then, I heard you sing. I don’t know how to say this, but you touched something in me. Right here.

Rachel: Your heart’s on the other side of your chest.

Finn: Oh. It’s beating really hard.

• Finn: Do you know what we should do?

Rachel: Elope?

Finn: What?

Rachel: Nothing.

• Dakota: What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me is that you’re freakishly tall. I feel like a woodland creature.
• Finn: I can’t get Rachel out of my head. She kind of freaks me out in a Swimfan kind of way, but she can really sing, and her body is smokin’. If you’re… not into boobs.