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ｓｏｒｔｅｄ　ｂｙ　ｗｏｒｄ　ｃｏｕｎｔ

mobei jun is certain he has made it absolutely clear towards shang qinghua that he intends to marry him. shang qinghua does not realise. at all.

that's it. that's the fic.

"wait, was he technically being proposed to twice in one day? and worst of all this guy was kinda, sorta doing a better job at it. in some people’s opinion, were you to ask, he thought. probably."

shang qinghua and mobei jun's relationship is ready to move onto the next stage, but suddenly someone new appears with an offer of his own.

shang qinghua is not stupid.

it does not take a genius to know what it means when you ask a servant where your lord has left to and they readily supply the name of an exclusive brothel in between the two realms. especially when it's after your utterly disastrous first time together.

so he goes away for a bit to clear his head. and promptly gets kidnapped.

shang qinghua is appropriately nervous when he passes the imperial exams only to be assigned not to the emperor’s palace, but to the barren lands ruled by a lord known to be as ruthless as he is cold. although his friend and confidant shen qingqiu gives him a sympathetic smile and a mountain of furs before he sets off, shang qinghua feels less than reassured.

he expects ridicule, a harsh regime, even rejection. what he does not expect is for mobei-jun to take one look at him among all the scholars and servants of his palace, and proclaim him his.

when airplane shooting towards the sky, renown author of the cult classic, “proud immoral demon way”, had literally transmigrated and crash landed mentally into the small, baby brain of shang qinghua, he had no idea just how utterly twisted his story was going to be. leave it to his king to be so vague about their servant-king relationship that even shang qinghua had no idea what he was in for.

in which a very oblivious shang qinghua accidentally starts and continues a long lasting romantic relationship with mobei jun. everyone knows, just shang qinghua doesn't know. he just hopes that mobei jun doesn't eat his ass--literally.

mobei-jun needs an heir. shang qinghua assumes he'll be marrying a woman to achieve that, a prospect he is willing to accept for the sake of politics. really, he's fine! (he's not fine).

this mission to the ice demons' ancestral heartlands? totally unrelated.

or is it?

shang qinghua is an unpopular prostitute in an upscale brothel. his dreary everyday becomes much more interesting with an arrival of a demanding but so very handsome customer, that favors him exclusively.

mobei-jun doesn’t understand shang qinghua. he thought he did for the longest time, only for his certainties to crumble to the ground one after the other. what is left for him is to stop assuming, and learn.

mobei-jun and shang qinghua’s story, through the eyes of the ice king.

basically: mobei-jun is in a bookstore for the first time, helping luo binghe find a book for his boyfriend, shen qingqiu's, birthday. luo binghe gave him vague instructions to look in a bookstore. mobei-jun has never read for leisure in his entire life. shang qinghua educates him on good reads and bad reads and mobei-jun falls in love with this beautiful bookworm and trashy writer. shang qinghua, as always, is oblivious to everything and mobei-jun's somewhat skeptical actions don't help either.

shang qinghua had willed every ounce of courage in his tragically short body and placed his quivering hands on top of mobei jun’s fur-lined gloves. he’d given up on fluttering his eyelashes after the last time and just tried to smile as broad as he could, lowering his voice to a sultry whisper: “my king, if there’s any way i can serve you, i will. and i mean mind and body, i’ll do anything you ask of me, anything.”

“that’s nice,” mobei jun had said, a bemused expression crossing his face, “you can mop the floor in here.”

alternatively, the noodle terror of an ding peak.

when shang qinghua asked mobei jun to make him a bowl of noodles, he hadn't realized just what kind of trouble he was bringing himself and his own peak into. all he had asked for was a bowl of noodles.

shang qinghua only has two choices; either he confesses to mobei-jun about his condition, blacking out in his first heat ever and dies afterwards; or mobei-jun mauls him on the spot before shang qinghua goes through his first heat ever, and dies afterwards.

he doesn’t want to do this, but he has no other options to convince mobei-jun that he’s not lying.

if mobei-jun decides to kill him today, then so be it.

“my king,” shang qinghua cleared his throat, “i only have two days left before my heat.”

mobei-jun longs for someone he could never have.

(or so he thinks.)

æ: prequel of intoxicated.

shang qinghua fails to realize he is not a servant anymore.

mobei jun fails to mention that shang qinghua has taken on the duties of a king's spouse.

neither of these things gets resolved.

mobei jun gets a face full of something rather inconvenient. shang qinghua acts in solidarity.

shang qinghua misses a lot about his old life.

mobei-jun is determined to fill the void.

it was too hot outside, hot enough to bake cookies on the asphalt, to melt the soles of your shoes and drench you in sweat after being out for five minutes. any other day, shang qinghua would have gladly stayed home and be a salted fish under the blessing of his ac, eating chips and watching tv.

sadly, his hardrive had died, and he was in urgent need of a new one to store his chapters, lest he didn't get paid this month.

therefore, when he went out, he expected to die a little, lose some pounds, and return home with his newly bought trinket. what he didn't expect, however, was that one careless phrase said in his delirious state of overheat would summon a demon right in front of him. maybe he was hallucinating? passed out on the sidewalk?

he should have kept his mouth shut...but who told the rules to be so weird? nobody warned him about this!

--

'i would sell my soul to the demons for something...anything that relieved me from this heat...'

"are you sure about that....?"

some days it seems that his hunger gets the better of him.

in a world of cultivation and magic, a dragon and a prince are tied to each other in a twist of fate.

the dragon lord of the north sealed, lost to time.

the third prince exiled, sent to rot away in his tower.

dear husband, why must you not allow me to take care of you?

sometimes, mobei-jun only wants to pamper his beloved with the attention he deserves.

“sometimes when luo binghe and shen qingqiu make love-” shang qinghua thinks of the right way to phrase it, drawing on his extensive experience- “shen qingqiu’s heavenly pillar descends to luo binghe’s ravine, if you understand me,” he says, moving his eyebrows in a way that is meant to convey deep meaning.

mobei-jun does not make an expression of understanding, but he’s watching shang qinghua very, very closely.

“shang qinghua,” he says. “you want to be inside me?”

between being the peak lord of an ding and his courtly duties as mobei-jun's husband, shang qinghua just needs a time where he doesn't have to think, doesn't have to make decisions. he lets his loving husband know but signals when exactly he needs it in the only way he knows that will get as thoroughly and roughly taken care of as he wants.

they have a game of obedience and mobei jun sometimes worries he is not always the winner.

bathing together is hard for mobei-jun and shang qinghua.

because here’s the thing. one of them adores long, hot, steaming baths where he can just melt into the water and drift of, daydreaming about distant worlds and storylines he can add to the stacks of notebooks in his room. and one of them prefers short baths with literal ice cubes floating in them, where he’ll quickly and efficiently wash and leave.

but aren’t shared baths supposed to be a staple tradition for cute couples?

so shang qinghua’s current goal was this: figure out how he and his husband can tolerate taking a bath together!

shang qinghua's guide to getting a good haircut:

1 (and the only rule) - don't make your future barber simultaneously angry and besotted with you so that ten years after your fated meeting, he tries to maim your head open with a pair of scissors and a spray bottle

it was the day of shang qinghua’s wedding, and he was going to be sick.

the system is a horny piece of shit and provides shang qinghua with an odd update. shang qinghua isn't sure if she actually minds it.

shang qinghua describes many a misstep he has made in regards to one demon king.

mobeijun finds shang qinghua's maid outfit. chaos ensues

if they could, they would stay here in mobei jun’s quarters forever, enjoying each other’s presence and spending time together. this place, where no one would dare disturb them, is where they can be together alone. this place is a world purely for shang qinghua and himself.

shang qinghua thought it was going to be a normal day.

he was wrong.

but it's okay. these things happen.

best friends shang qinghua and shen yuan decide to get tattoos.

“besides…” shang qinghua mumbled, almost as if he did not know that he was speaking out loud. “staying by my king’s side… is more than enough for me.”

shen qingqiu did not stop the loud sigh that escaped him. “dude, you like him.”

shang qinghua blinked rapidly as if the notion was absurd. “no??”

shang qinghua and mobei-jun's relationship following mobei-jun's ascension to his throne, through the eyes of shen qingqiu.

[system] [congratulations! you’ve unlocked a special event: maid outfit sexy time! the success of this event includes both +100 b and cool points. good luck and hope you enjoy.]

things that mobei jun regretted in his life.

shang qinghua was having a nice day throwing salt and baptising his front yard from the ice sheets that appeared without welcome on his lawn, until he threw salt at someone so now he has to apologise. invite them in. hope that they're not a murderer and this won't be hinterkaifeck numero duo.

shang qinghua mourns the loss of his computer, because he knows that sometimes, quantity is its own kind of quality. mobei-jun tries to help.

"i must bring a token from each of the borders," he says to shang qinghua when they return to mobei jun's quarters. "salt from the sea in the east, cypress boughs from the west, camellia blossoms from south, ice from the north. the blood of the new generation."

"it's barely spring, my king," shang qinghua says. "how are you supposed to set up a tablet in the fall?"

"poorly."

shang qinghua sighs. "and why is there always blood?" he's already turned aside, casting his eyes toward the paperwork spread out on mobei jun's desk, accrued during shang qinghua's absence. the usual shadows dig soft half-moons beneath his eyes.

"hit me again," mobei jun says.

they were each charged with a target: each other. could shang qinghua pull the trigger?

five things shang qinghua regrets including in proud immortal demon way and one that is an unequivocal success.

it wasn't fair. all he wanted was to live happily ever after with his super hot ice demon dream husband, but he was probably going to be killed before his wedding day.

  • spambot | modern setting!au, teen, 3k+

mobei jun finds himself on the receiving end of someone's very strange texts.

aka: shang qinghua doesn't realize someone is reading his digital note taking.

the beautiful tale of one hopeless boner, two loving hearts, and two aching hearts and one starting headache.

the attention of great lord luo binghe is not something to be coveted.

[congrats! a new update has been added to the system!]

in which shang qinghua, happily married with his king, sleepily switches on an "unfiltered" option not knowing what it meant exactly.

mobei-jun reflected about the kind of love that he experienced in his lifetime

a.k.a

moshang affirming their love to each other.

mobei-jun had learned the hard way that demonic custom and shang qinghua didn’t mix well, at least in the traditional courting sense. so he changed his tactics, instead demonstrating his physical prowess and ability to provide for shang qinghua’s needs.

apparently, the one need he does not have the experience to meet is the need for comfort. so as he observes shang qinghua in real, unrestrained pain for once, mobei-jun has never felt quite this helpless.

or: following shen qingqiu’s death in a bandit attack, mobei-jun tries his best to take care of a grieving shang qinghua.

shang qinghua gets cornered and is forced to out himself for who he actually is after a certain event where he accidentally said out loud that he was a god.

airplane bro's unexpected glow up came from his poorly made life decisions.

mobei-jun is busy in a meeting with his council. that is, until shang qinghua decides that his king could do something much better with his time – his husband, for example.

shang qinghua has left, and mobei-jun is alone with his feelings.

[set between shang qinghua leaving after the ritual and mobei-jun finding him again, wherein mobei-jun tries, and fails, to move on without him]

this, however, is not just anyone. this is shang qinghua, who smells like parchment and ink and whose pale, chill-flushed skin stands out brightly against the dark colours underneath his body, even with only a sliver of moonlight to illuminate it. this is shang qinghua, mobei jun’s husband.

making mobei jun's family extensive and full of snakes had felt like a good decision while he was writing proud immortal demon way. now that he was living it, shang qinghua had many regrets.

or: a lesser cousin challenges the absolute authority of mobei jun.

  • focus | pwp, explicit, 2k+

anyone, really, would have a hard time concentrating on their work in this kind of situation.

perhaps there was something about the heady darkness, the warmth of the candles, or how endless and everlasting the night around the two of them felt. shang qinghua didn’t quite understand why himself, but at that moment, an idea flickered across his mind – a very stupid, very impulsive idea.

oh, he’d thought of such things before (far too much, as a matter of fact) but to imagine actually doing it right here, right now – it was laughable. completely and utterly laughable, and more than that, entirely impossible.

unforgivable, if what shang qinghua believed to be true was as such. but surrounded by this halo of honeyed light, mobei-jun’s eyebrows lax, forehead free of those grumpy wrinkles for once – not to mention the cheek supported by his hands sweetly pillowing out just a little – the idea of achieving his king’s forgiveness for a second time didn’t seem so hard to achieve at all.

or, airplane bro is a little impulsive and mobei-jun just happens to be awake for it.

shang qinghua knows with absolute certainty that the northern palace is as safe as the term ‘ice fortress’ can make it to be, even without mobei-jun around he can still feel safe in the icy corridors of the great palace. that’s why whenever things like this happen, it just feels like the system and the entire universe is out to bully him.

what sort of servitude ceremony was this?

—

in which shang qinghua didn't leave.

mobei-jun never cared for flowers nor garden.

but seeing shang qinghua happy by those simple things was enough for him to move heaven and earth.

a.k.a in which mobei-jun built a greenhouse for his husband.

"you saved my life," mobei-jun said in a hard, threatening tone that sent shivers down shang qinghua's spine despite the summer heat.

shang qinghua gives many extraordinary gifts to his king.

his king finally catches on.

aka: mobei jun has never been courted by a human before.

with all the poise of a man walking to the gallows, shang qinghua rolled out of bed and started setting up the hidden cameras.

“you don't like to be with me”

”... i do like”

”do you enjoy yourself in this palace”

”...i do”

"do you like the noodles i make for you?"

shang qinghua sigh. “i do like them”

”then you like me”. mobei jun said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

he ignores the way the disciples look at him. ignores the way that luo binghe's eyes flash with jealousy and mistrust. ignores the way mobei jun slaps his hand against his head, making him dizzy and unbalanced.

but most of all, he ignores the way shen qingqiu looks at him with pity in his eyes. shang qinghua ignores it all, because he is so very used to it by now.

it was with an anxious heart that he watched as they picked the sacrifice each year, someone to send up to the ice palace to appease the horrible monster who lived within it for the year. they claimed that, otherwise, the monster would spread its unnatural winter, and the village would freeze and starve under its barrage.

then, that year as spring was changing to summer, they selected shang qinghua.

shang qinghua just wanted to summon a snow day...

he designs shang qinghua just for himself

---

aka: mo beijun is the author and shang qinghua's the character

shang qinghua almost regrets adding this many sex pollen plants into his world. almost.

"you will not go to the marshedge again," mobei-jun says when they're definitely alone.

shang qinghua scrunches his shoulders in a little farther. "ah, my king—"

"do not argue," mobei-jun says. his hand comes at shang qinghua, but thankfully only grabs a fistful of fabric at the back of shang qinghua's neck, lifting him up off of his knees.

most thought, when winter turned to spring, it was because spring wrestled and fought back the frost of winter, allowing warmth to flood the world and new life to bloom under it. people painted the god of spring as a hero who protected their harvest and paved the way for summer and fall, and they relished that first day of warmth after a harrowing winter.

in fact, shang qinghua couldn't have been further from that image.

shang qinghua is unwell and his king is fine taking responsibility.

aka: the lord of frost is not so icy after all...

something shatters, loud against the ice floors of the castle. "i broke it," a voice says, miserable and hopeless.

someone laughs an unhappy laugh.

someone else says, "we'd better just leave, then. no use going in front of mobei-jun empty handed."

shang qinghua, standing around the corner in one of the claustrophobically narrow hidden servant stairs, had meant to leave the castle directly—but the demons who've broken out into an argument about whether they should leave or not are between shang qinghua and the exit.

when mobei-jun doesn’t beat him up for getting out of line, shang qinghua is happy and relieved. just when he’s about to settle down into a life of bliss, however, mobei-jun asks him for something that scares him half to death.

the night before his ascension, mobei-jun had his worries.

a moment to pause and appreciate a king

aka: mobei jun is like a cat needing attention.

shang qinghua knew how to keep his partner just on the brink of impatience, and also he knew that his partner could handle the business side just fine. otherwise, he wouldn’t dare to provoke.

mobei jun and shang qinghua just kiss a lot, all the time.

if only shang qinghua doesn't have a sudden corn dog craving in the middle of the night, mobei-jun wouldn't be this cursed.

_the great tiger king mobei jun is given the strangest herb by one of his vassals.

or: mobei jun gets high on catnip and becomes a snuggle monster.

shang qinghua doesn’t look at her queen’s eyes often, but this time she does. she sees the long eyelashes and the electric blues irises, but this isn’t what catches her attention.

did mobei-jun always wear glitter eyeliner?!

right there at her eyelid there’s a thin, perfectly done cat-eye eyeliner. the tip is so delicate and utterly perfect that shang qinghua is both awed and jealous. this is something you only get when you practice it daily. shang qinghua is sure her queen wouldn’t dwell on things like makeup for too long if she isn’t sure of what she’s doing, or if she doesn’t like it.

mobei jun in preparation for a very important day

there's no wine sweeter than the taste of you.

to show your gratitude to another person, one should present them with something beautiful.

unfortunately, mobei-jun never understood the standard of what common people (and demons alike) considered beautiful.

there's something shang qinghua has always wanted to do to that perfect, just-his-type face of mobei-jun's.

step one, buy cinnamon rolls.

step two, make said cinnamon rolls for mobei jun.

step three, uhh.. ummmm….. ??????????

step four, profit!!!!!!!

or: shang qinghua just wants to see mobei jun eat sweets. that's pretty much it, man.

mobei jun is fighting a losing battle against his greatest adversary.

---

aka: stubborn raises stubborn.

mobei-jun is struck by how his hand can span the width of shang qinghua’s neck. his deep brown eyes stare up at mobei-jun trustingly. that trust leaves mobei-jun breathless, even if it is his by right.

an ding peak is not mobei-jun's domain. this requires him to mark what belongs to him.

eat, complain, drink, repeat. that's how normally he spends his nights with shen yuan until both are unable to understand what they're talking anymore, using the train or daring to reach their apartments walking by themselves.

mobei-jun though shang qinghua knew, turns out, he didn’t.

shang qinghua gets a tattoo

even when shang qinghua shouldn't be surprised anymore, her queen still never fails to make her scream.

he told shen yuan that there was no need for him to come to the hospital for a twisted ankle and a hard hit on his knee. he could nurse both of those quite well in the comfort of his home with ice and well tied bandages, shang qinghua was a person clumsy enough to know how to lick his own wounds, thank you very much.

but shen yuan was so hard on him, hard enough to tell mobei-jun of all people.

the only person shang qinghua would actually obey.

shang qinghua brews coffee using an energy drink instead of water. mobei jun is surprised at his own caring streak.

mobei-jun admits to no one but himself that he, the big scary northern desert lord capable of shaking both the heavens and the earth, has a soft spot for a certain extraordinary human servant.

mobei-jun can't fly.

shang qinghua has never paid attention to his own birthday, yet somehow, his king knows exactly when it is. and decides to bake him a cake.

he kind of wishes his king had never heard of human birthday customs.

jul 19 2020 ∞
jul 29 2021 +
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