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ｓｏｒｔｅｄ　ｂｙ　ｗｏｒｄ　ｃｏｕｎｔ

four hundred years ago, there was a human revered as an oracle of the northern valley, living among the dragons. he had been by their side until one day he disappeared along with the dragons. the oracle had single-handedly sealed the dragons, saving the species from extinction.

within a night, stories of fearsome dragons had gone from the triumph of humanity into myths, lost beneath the eternal ice. as human started to forget the old tales of the dragon, they remained to rest in peace beneath the ground for four hundred years before the seal weakened.

the process awakened the rightful king of the north, mobei-jun, from his long slumber. discovering that his fellow dragons threatened by blood-thirsty poachers, he decided to seek the oracle’s help one more time. only to discover the oracle had lost his memories and ended up as a herbalist on a lousy peak.

the thought had been niggling at the back of his mind quite a bit lately. he wasn’t showing shang qinghua proper obeisance, was he? they’d grown so comfortable in their roles - mobei-jun as shang qinghua’s king, and shang qinghua as his dutiful servant - that they hadn’t thought to… stop. it was how it had always been. but things were different, now, weren’t they? they’d been different for a long time now. to ignore that wasn’t proper.

that stops now, mobei-jun decides. his ancestors would be rolling in their graves to see him ignore the proper rites of courtship - the fact that he and shang qinghua were already mated besides. he was not raised to be some kind of country rube, as much as being sequestered so far up north might imply otherwise. shang qinghua was his partner, and, with all factors properly calculated, the more powerful of the two. it was only proper that mobei-jun display an appropriate level of submission to his better.

--

mobei-jun realizes with increasing clarity that he wants to serve shang qinghua. shang qinghua does not pick up on it.

shang qinghua receives a strange inheritance letter to an estate deep in the mountains. deciding that he's had enough of being a simple accountant, he goes to investigate, but finds that the estate is not as empty as he had hoped...

over the years, mobei-jun has always enjoyed watching his husband and his shortcomings, the little habits and quirks in his everyday life, all of them endearing in his eyes, a part of the one he cherishes most. he delights in cataloguing them and learn a little bit more about the person he wants to spen the rest of his life with, feeling like it was impossible for him to love his husband more, only for the latter to prove him wrong.

it is on one of those many days that he takes notice of the way his husband likes to call him in many different ways, depending on the situation and mood, and he takes it upon himself to memorize them all, his curiosity getting the best of him, brining him to the point where he cannot help but ask.

the answer he recieves is unexpected, but much more pleasant and satisfying than he'd thought.

or, alternatively: 4 times shang qinghua called mobei-jun by different names/titles, and +1 the one time he told him why.

he scrambles to the wall mirror hung beside his bed and looks at his reflection. his heart nearly jumps out of his chest.

his ears! his eyes! they’re both… they’re both… catlike! his pupils have turned into thin slits, and his cat ears are flattened against his head. he lifts up his hands and again, sees his claws which exactly like those of a feline. shakily, he turns around.

lying on the floor, attached to the base of his spine, is a long, brown tail.

what the hell is this?!

(alternatively: shang qinghua gets turned into a literal cat boy. things only go downhill from there.)

after finding out about the halfbreed status of his beloved disciple, shen qingqiu tried everything to better the relationship between human and demon realm, including an exchange program. that meant, while the qing jing peak lord and his disciple would go to the demon realm, the prince of the infamous northern desert would come to visit cang qiong mountain. and who was the poor man who had to play host for this terrifying demon heir?

of course it was him, shang qinghua!

and why did no one tell him about mobei-jun's lack of language skills?!

  • string me along | soulmates!au, red string of fate, canon divergence, teen, 11k+

shang qinghua is the only person in the world who can see the threads that connect people to their loved ones.

he is also, quite possibly, the only person in the world to not have a single one.

[system: mfr 1.0 available, would you like to perform system and hardware update now? ]

>>> yes >>> no

with a wave of his hand and a huff, shang qinghua accepted the update without another fuss, hoping to return to sleep’s embrace before morning came as much as it can on the winterlands of the north. he hugged the extra pillow mo beijun had kindly permitted him to have to his chest, mumbling into the soft silken but cottony fabric. the system’s confirmation reply dinged cheerfully in his head.

[system: thank you for your continued patronage! installing mfr 1.0 software and hardware update now, we hope you enjoy your new experience ☆～（ゝ。∂）]

also known as ‘in which mo beijun really wants his husband’s to be preggers’.

“with the first husband finally mated to our lord, he no longer has to suppress his heat, this would indeed be a momentous chance! unless, of course, if the many years of suppression have affected first husband’s-” the first and second elder’s beady eyes widened in alarm as the third elder spoke, they flung their wrists in warning but a blinding flash of light flew past them faster than a bat of an eyelid and towards the third elder. with no chance to exclaim in surprise or pain, a massive ice spear is now embedded through the elder’s shoulder - blood running like rivers down brightly coloured robes.

mo beijun’s loyal retainer squawked in anger, whipping his horsetail whip around in warning at the remaining elders in the room.

“you will not speak of my husband with your unworthy mouth.”

_it's all for the fetus's sake, the demon said, the balance of two qi must be maintained he said, this condition is rare in demon pregnancies he said.

you must take caution and regulate your qi daily, he said.

everyday, he said.

(system, this is completely the wrong franchise!)_

_shang qinghua accidentally shows her wife a habit from the modern day, then misunderstands her wife learning it. luckily, mobei-jun seems more than willing to clarify what she thinks of the human she's chosen to marry.__

shang qinghua nods quickly, only relaxing once mobei-jun finally breaks the gaze in order to lay right back down on his side, hand propping up his head.

then, he does something nearly terrifying-- he smiles, lips quirking in a way that begets a sort of malice capable of sending a shiver right down shang qinghua’s spine. “good. others are not to touch what is mine.”

(or: 5 times mobei-jun surprises shang qinghua + one time shang qinghua surprises him.)

shang qinghua swears he never considered writing body sushi into proud immortal demon way, but here he is, being used as a dinner plate for his king and a select few esteemed guests.

naked.

surrounded by five hungry demons.

oh, heavens.

“i don’t hate it or anything, really, i’m just curious. why do you keep on saying the same thing?”

“so it is a cue for you to recognize me.”

shang qinghua is attempting to get some work done sitting at the palace library. mobei-jun joins in the library, sitting across from her at the table to read through a book resulting in her little cultivator wife doing the wrong kind of checking out in a library. the demon is more than willing to encourage this behaviour and return it, with interest.

shang qinghua was organizing a huge storehouse by himself, the project promising to take a fortnight, and he had painstakingly stacked containers of spring water into a display like one would see in a modern supermarket. upon completion, the whole thing resembled a throne and shang qinghua gave himself a like.

a moment later, a naked, bleeding and broken-limbed mobei jun fell out of nowhere in a flash of golden light, landing on the sculpture and ruining the arrangement shang qinghua had meticulously created.

there's a lot of things shang qinghua hadn't anticipated when his and mobei-jun's relationship became closer.

waking up together is one of them.

  • 8 | fantasy!au, smut, explicit, 4k+

in which sqh is marooned on an island and sea king, octopus!mbj is curious enough about humans to decide to investigate personally.

very personally.

shang qinghua and mobei jun had a fight. shang qinghua, after a long talk with his cucumber bro, decides to go live alone in somewhere really distant. after 4 years they meet again.

or, four times shang qinghua gives away something he (probably) shouldn't have.

_parasite (noun.) a person who habitually relies on or exploits others and gives nothing in return.

if anyone told shang qinghua that having sex with his ideal man will be terrible, he would scoff at the idea and flip the bird. and yet, here he is.

--

or mobei jun and shang qinghua try it again after the disastrous first time.

and one time they woke up together.

“there’s something i have to show you. can you promise me you won’t get enraged?” shang qinghua asked.

mobei jun made no such promise, and instead demanded that whatever it was, shang qinghua had to show him now, immediately.

...

shang qinghua showed mobei jun the blueprints.

it was a building especially designed to trap an ice demon within its walls. a prison for this purpose.

features included flowing lava, sun’s rays strengthening mirrors, huge furnaces, ice destroying salt and hot oil, and of course chains and arrays.

“it was designed to imprison me.” mobei jun said, his cool voice belying rage. shang qinghua could hear the unspoken words. this should have been long destroyed by you or not have been created at all. the papers were promptly frozen, and then smashed into a billion small pieces.

shang qinghua enjoys the sweeter times. but he'd be lying if he said he wouldn't die for those times where the two slip into this fantasy where he's completely at his king's mercy, on his knees, begging for more as mobei-jun uses him until satisfaction. "stop acting so ridiculously," he utters through his fangs, "instead, clearly tell me if you want it. and be honest."

shang qinghua can't figure out how to get his boyfriend to fuck him

or

oblivious twink gets railed by his big werewolf boyfriend (not clickbait)

you'd think he notice would have noticed sooner, but shang qinghua can be a little.... dense? airheaded? absent-minded? call it what you will, but in the end the system was beyond cruel! he was the author for crying out loud!!! please show some mercy!!! or: the system deletes memories as the story progresses, and even though shang qinghua doesn't notice it right away, when he finally does he certainly isn't happy about it.

mobei jun’s blue eyes looked him up and down. “are you warm?” he asked, like the worst snowstorm shang qinghua had ever experienced wasn’t doing its best to pelt them with sheets of snow every three seconds.

shang qinghua’s eyes teared up from the biting wind.

teeth still chattering, tongue a frozen block of meat in his mouth, shang qinghua painstakingly choked out, “w- warm.”

when husband's asleep, one can't suppress one's own urges.

aka

shang qinghua just gives to mobei jun what he wants him to give to him.

decomposing wolf fangs --- x 163 powdery moonlight --- x 2131g half a human --- x 1

"i lost you, my love, but i promise to find a way to bring you back. no heaven or god can stop me. no laws of nature or force of man can hold me back. page 617..."

or shang qinghua is a witch, and drives himself mad trying to find a way to bring back his dead lover, mobei jun

shang qinghua falls sick, and realises just how much mobei jun cares about him.

(set after the end of airplane's adventures, when shang qinghua is back by mobei jun's side.)

shang qinghua and mo beijun tell their son their version of the snow queen called the ice king. now with 100% less murder.

how shang qinghua experiences birthdays through the years.

shang qinghua gets married.

definitely. fakely.

married.

"it was a plot point, dude," says cucumber-bro, in the slow, patient voice of someone speaking to a stupid dog. "it was an actual, literal plot point you typed in with your own like, sinful hands."

"no it wasn't," says shang qinghua immediately. "i think i would like, fucking remember writing a scene where some chick gets an actual fucking dragon corpse dropped on her door and immediately gives it up for the person who brought it!"

shang qinghua will go to lengths to get close to his ac unit of a lover with raising his body heat more, even if it means trying to use non-existent massage skills.

shang qinghua puts his mouth to good use.

shang qinghua knew he didn't have the ideal body type.

his fears often get the better of him.

he doesn't expect for mobei-jun to find out.

-

mobei-jun is in awe every time his sees shang qinghua's body. in his eyes, shang qinghua is perfect they way he is.

he was not aware that shang qinghua doesn't feel that same way, that he doesn't like the way he looks.

he hates that words fail him.

-

with the help of a little outside source, a major secret is found out. it cannot be fixed in a day, but maybe, over time, two people will see eye to eye.

“shang qinghua. what are you doing?” again with the genuine puzzlement. shang qinghua was almost flattered. surely no one else got to see mobei jun this completely baffled on a regular basis.

mobei jun was on an adventure to understand what good looking meant.

shang qinghua's adventures in parenting include literal monsters under the bed and explaining about where human-demon hybrids come from among other things.

as a demon, mobei jun didn't need a whole lot of sleeping. not to say that he couldn’t sleep, he just chose not to, because sleeping sounded like a waste of time. it was useless and downright dangerous. no one ever knows when the enemy arrives; you needed to be on your toes always.

the rare occasion that he did go to sleep was when he was injured. he just had to; there was something about sleep that made his injury went away faster, yet he was unnerved whenever it happened. going to sleep when injured and laid himself wide open for attack? not the best idea. that was why it was only natural that he reacted badly when he had fainted in front of shang qinghua that time.

shang qinghua looked at his husband with a sense of bewilderment. he couldn’t really be...no! right? he was a proud demon lord, he couldn’t seriously be asking to...of course not, shang qinghua must be misunderstanding!

or, mobei-jun gets fucked.

shang qinghua has always been looking at his king.

since he was a child, the apple of his eye has always been the strong and alluring figure of mobei-jun. handsome without equal, fierce and unyielding, silent yet imposing, he was utter perfection in this poor human's eye.

there are a few things he would not do for his king.

why was this demon alone? if they were nobility, where were their retainers? could they have been killed, or was this demon...abandoned? that might have been the case, considering they were lying on the side of the road like this, in the human realm, exposed for any cultivator to take advantage of their vulnerable state and finish them off for good.

he felt something hurt inside his chest, and before he could even think, shang qinghua knelt down and lifted the demon onto his back.

shang qinghua tries to summon a demon. it's simultaneously the worst and the best decision he's ever made.

he's in his king's room.

he's been in this room enough times to recognize it even if he has never spent the night or any other activity that could imply this level of intimacy. there are warm blankets surrounding him in what could only be described as a nest due to the overlapping and circular pattern of the towering bulk._

right, he remembers vaguely having done something like that.

it always felt like it was unrequited - that it was always one-sided.

shang qinghua had to always chase after his king, always afraid of being left behind alone. because when he was alone, the nightmares would not stop and he would never be safe. therefore, no matter what happens, he had to keep running, to keep chasing after mobei jun.

shang qinghua learns that homesickness and drinking do not mix well together, good thing he doesn't have any regrets in the morning (thanks to his portable ac/demon king)

“bed.”

shang qinghua blinked in confusion, looking back and forth between the object and mobei jun.

clearing his throat, he remembered that he needed to elaborate so his intentions weren’t misunderstood.

“i… sleep,” he said, the words evading him.

finally, shang qinghua’s features lit up in understanding, letting out a little oh sound as he nodded. “you’re tired?”

mobei jun nodded.

“would you like to sleep in my bed?”

another nod, and another soft tug.

the top five major regrets of airplane bro in the whole two lifespans he was given.

things that mobei jun regretted in his life.

when mobei jun does as requested, and after shang qinghua links their pinkies together, he takes a moment to figure out how to explain this to mobei jun. “this… it’s an ancient human ritual for oaths, my king. we vow on our hearts, and whoever breaks it will be subjected to... divine punishment.”

mobei jun looks mildly interested. “what kind of punishment?”

shang qinghua solemnly replies, “there is a saying that all ten fingers of the one who breaks the vow will be cut off.”

shang qinghua was so, very done with today. but apparently, the day was not done with him.

he had always taken the pleasure of strolling through the streets without worry, because he knew when he turned around, mobei jun would be there waiting for him, unwavering and constant. it was a luxury shang qinghua didn't know he had until he lost it.

there is no democracy in any love relation, only mercy. - gillian rose, love's work.

mobei jun eyes fell to the brush in shang qinghua’s hand. “not going to write?”

shang qinghua startled in his arms. “oh — not, not yet, my king. i have to — get a feel of it, immerse myself in this experience. for research purposes. so it’ll — it might. take a while.”

mobei jun made a noise of understanding. “you want me to hold you for that while.”

“well — “ shang qinghua stuttered a bit over his words. “yes."

shang qinghua uses lipstick in a way not intended by the manufacturer and makes a mess of mobei-jun.

in which shang qinghua gets thoroughly fucked.

hot pain rushed through him and the blood flowed out, followed by a cough bringing up even more. shang qinghua whimpered and thought, oh, i'm dying.

otherwise known as 5 times they had their kisskiss.

shang qinghua can feel the thrum of anxiety beneath his skin, barely there but still vibrating with restless energy. and it suddenly feels like the ground is going to open up and swallow him whole because he's falling.

he's falling and he's never going to hit the ground.

shang qinghua, died a traitor, had never thought he would get a second chance in life. killed in the hand of demon lord mobei-jun, he was ressurected with broken knee and all in front of a random vengeful ice demon. down the line, apparently he had transmigrated into an alternate universe where his alternate ego was a weird incomprehensible creature who manage to not only befriend shen qingqiu but also tame mobei-jun.

(or, airplane-bro really returned home and original!shang qinghua put use of his vacant body.)

mobei-jun thinks he's dying, shang qinghua isn't so sure, and a pidw plot device pops up to bite them on the ass.

  • cold blooded | gender swap!au, crack/light smut, mature, 1k+

everyone knows you shouldn't put your tongue on things when it's cold.

but who could tell that that after some misunderstandings and hurtful fights would lead him to have the same man he only felt curiosity for to have this weird but pleasant feeling everytime he sees him? why being alone in his palace makes him feel restless if he's not around? why the thought of him leaving makes him feel so anxious? why meeting this human- no, why meeting shang qinghua makes him feel so many things?

the throne beside mobei-jun's is reserved for the future queen. no one understands why up till the end of mobei-jun's life, the seat had never belonged to anyone. not even shang qinghua, who sits on it for an hour every day, understands why either.

mo beijun, shang qinghua and their son go on a skiing vacation.

mobei jun has found the pleasure of giving shang qinghua things that make shang qinghua look cute. shang qinghua is mainly confused with the gifts that he is receiving.

when shang qinghua first wrote ‘proud immortal demon's way’, luo binghe was not who he had first created, nor it was shen qingqiu or yue qingyuan. no, it was mobei-jun.

lately, shang qinghua always wore a mask. he often turned away to cough and sometimes he suddenly ran to the toilet. mobei jun asked but all he got were unconvincing answers.

after an hour of forcing shang qinghua’s friend to tell the truth, that guy said shang qinghua suffered from ‘hanahaki disease’.

there are problems mobei-jun couldn't even imagine

in which mobei-jun mistook his lust for shang qinghua as hunger.

  • mine | fluff/smut, mature, 1k+

“mo-mobei-my king,” he stumbled over his words. “i-let me-”

“mine,” mobei jun cut him off, his gaze still looking at the pillow.

it took a few moments for shang qinghua to piece together what he might be talking about. “the-the pillow, yes, it’s yours, i-”

before he got the chance to apologize, mobei jun finally turned and looked at him, and something in his eyes made shang qinghua’s breath caught in his throat. the gaze was a heavy, heated weight.

“no,” he said lowly, leaning down closer until his breath was felt on shang qinghua’s ear. the hand holding his wrist didn’t let go, holding it down against the sheets, as the other hand began to trace down the humans’ body, his touch cold and sending shivers down his spine. “mine.”

mobei-jun takes a step to the center of the room, and belatedly shang qinghua’s brain catches up with the whole purpose of this exercise. he mirrors mobei-jun’s movements, tender feet scraping on the patterns carved into the stone floor, until they meet at the dais.

  • safety | fluff, general, 1k+

there’s comfort in the knowledge of unquestionable safety. not protection, he doesn’t need anyone’s protecting. safe.

if you know what song the title is from, just know i'm a nerd and i couldn't think of anything else

if you don't, then that's fine.

mobei jun doesn't understand youtube, but ends up famous on it anyway.

or: shang qinghua is a paranormal youtuber, and the most infamous cryptid of them all keeps showing up in the background of his shots.

shang qinghua promised he'd be gone for a week, but three days after, mobei jun heard a little cry of help from his husband. what he finds leaves him worried.

mobei jun ordered shang qinghua to join him in his training...

...at his bedroom.

shang qinghua catches him, but how come they're still falling?

sleeping in the same bed with shang qinghua is a challenge. and mobei jun is reaching his limit.

"psst! did you know? i saw that shang qinghua guy try and sneak out of the king's chamber, but he's so dummy thick the clap of his ass cheeks alerted his majesty."

in which mo beijung finds shang qinghua beautiful.

shang qinghua plays with the pretty clothes that the servants had been given to him for the wedding. they're beautiful and feel really nice on his skin.

the inner layer of his robes was soft silk against his skin, following by a layer of thick fluffy wool made from a special creature known as a fire sheep that warmed him more than normal wool would, the following layer was rougher but white in color that would only barely be visible beneath the last two layers. the second-to-last layer was black with red fabric outlining the seams and red thread embroidery in beautiful flowers. his belt following the same design.

the best was left for last, his outer robe an auspicious red with golden embriodery, everything finely spun together with all of the splendor of the northern monarchy's demon insignia and status.

demons had been angels.

shang qinghua sees a painting of him and another angel he doesn’t recognise.

jul 19 2020 ∞
jul 29 2021 +
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