• (After a patient walked naked to the bathroom after pulling out his cannula and leaving a happy little trail of blood on his way there

"Is this a dream" He said (as me and the girls were cleaning up the massacre) "No. It is a nightmare" Sharon F.

• A patient who had a CVA got transferred to the ward (although I had asked the nurse on MAU if he would be better off on a stroke rehab ward

"He had a CVA" I informed the girls. "Because that's where stroke patients should go - to a cancer ward"