note: heavy on the l & g, passable on the b, tragically but predictably light when it comes to the t. these recs are all based on my personal taste, but i tried to pick a broad selection of genres, stories, and couples so that everyone can find something they enjoy.

the way he looks / hoje eu quero voltar sozinho (2011)

• originally a short film on youtube, the way he looks is a sweet coming-of-age story centered on the relationships and struggles of a blind boy as he falls for his new classmate among attempts to study abroad. the soundtrack is lovely and the acting is superb
  • warnings for ableism and homophobia
  • 5 stars
  • available on netflix
  • happy ending!

imagine me & you (2005)

• what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? a woman falls in love with the female florist from her wedding, beginning a series of charming, funny, and beautifully written shenanigans in my personal favorite wlw film.
  • 5 stars
  • happy ending!

private romeo (2012)

• a modernization of romeo & juliet set in an all-boys military school. if that single sentence doesn’t convince you to drop what you’re doing and watch it immediately, it stars matt doyle of broadway fame and features wonderful performances of the original shakespeare in a story that is quiet, intimate, relevant, and beautiful
  • 4 stars
  • available on netflix
  • ambiguously happy ending

holding the man (2015)

• two australian high school sweethearts weather life together. a sweet and honest celebration of love: often funny, often awkward, often sad or difficult, but beautiful and eternal
  • warnings for homophobia, religion, infidelity, nudity and explicit sex, explicit discussion and depiction of aids, assorted medical stuff including hospitals, needles, blood, and gore (an upsetting surgery scene roughly around 1:24:10 to 1:27:45), a low continuous intentional ringing in a few scenes, and major character death
  • 5 stars
  • avaliable on netflix
  • inevitably sad but beautiful ending

closet monster

• a semi-surrealist, brutally cathartic journey of trauma, amplified by a dream-like techno soundtrack and a strategic use of the color red, closet monster follows oscar as the horror of witnessing a violent hate-crime as a child bleeds (quite literally) into his own identity as a young gay man. ft special effects art and buffy, the vampire-slaying talking hamster spirit guide. an exceptional film that wrenches at the core of grief and chip-on-your-shoulder childhoods, made bearable by effortless humor. proceed into its world with caution; you might be changed by it
  • warnings for homophobia, character death, animal death, emotional abuse, rodents, use of the f slur, smoking and drug use, emetophobia (immediately after first witnessing the crime, then later at a party– oscar appears to throw up blood and assorted nuts and bolts), sexual assault (the hate crime, the bathroom scene at the party), and the horrific hate crime, which infuses the entire film, including repeated graphic imagery of the victim and the metal rod involved in the crime, often appearing to come out of oscar’s own stomach (though this culminates in an incredibly cathartic scene, it is extremely disturbing and particularly shocked me during both the bathroom scene at oscar’s work and the bathroom scene at the party… i’ll admit to just covering my eyes whenever i could)
  • 5 stars
  • available on netflix
  • ambiguously happy ending

the girl king (2015)

• when the king of sweden dies and leaves his daughter kristina as his only heir, she is raised to rule. passionately curious about the forbidden, refusing to be controlled, she deviates from the expectations of her strict protestant court through her love of both the catholic philosopher descartes, and a gentle countess. rich, emotional, compelling, the girl king brings a long ago decade back to life. malin buska’s kristina is clever, dark, dry, and endlessly fantastic to watch– even in her grief, and especially in her rage. despite my usual indifference to period dramas, this became a favorite before i was even halfway through it. who wouldn’t enjoy some radical philosophical lesbian monarchy.
  • warnings for homophobia, religious differences, unpleasantly period-accurate medical gore including an unsafe abortion, implied child abuse, and sexual assault.
  • 5 stars
  • available on netflix
  • ambiguous ending

big eden (2000)

• when an artist moves back to his rustically charming home town to take care of his last surviving relative, everyone there seems to be trying to set him up with someone. quietly charming and lovely, including one of the only characters i’ve seen in film with confirmed and pretty accurate social anxiety, big eden has just as big a heart. also, homophobia straight up does not exist.
  • warning for character death
  • 5 stars
  • available on netflix (u.s.)
  • happy ending

cloudburst (2011)

• two crotchety lesbians in their 80s fight tooth and claw for their hard-earned peace, meeting some wild characters along the road.
  • warning for minor injury, character death, nudity, ableism, homophobia, cissexism, d slur, c slur, so much profanity, A SUDDEN AND SCANDALOUS STRANGER’S DICK IN HIGH DEFINITION???
  • 5 stars
  • available on netflix
  • bittersweet ending

latter days (2003)

• christian, a promiscuous party boy, takes a bet that he can’t sleep with one of the mormon missionaries who recently moved into his neighborhood. making it his mission(arie) to do so, he attempts to seduce one of the mormons… only to fall in love with him. i know this sounds like a porno, but it’s genuinely one of my favorite movies. christian wears assless chaps and plays his roommate’s music video on vhs, but the scripting is funny and extremely memorable, and by the end you will be reduced to emotional ash by the beautiful, fraught romance and the personal journeys of the characters. probably not joseph gordon levitt though.
  • warnings include self-harm & attempted suicide (1:22:24 to 1:22:50 if you need to skip it), electroshock therapy, religion, illness, extremely bad parenting, nudity & nearly explicit sex, homophobia, f slur, one use of the r slur and one gross joke about eating disorders. tread carefully.
  • 5 stars
  • if you can believe it, happy ending!

shelter (2007)

• zach is a failing 20-something artist trying to take care of his neglected nephew when his best friend’s older brother, shaun, returns after years away. they strike up a relationship, but family troubles arise that have zach questioning his new sense of self. this movie was shot in 360p, it stars californian surfers with bad 90s haircuts, and zach owns a nokia flip phone; it is not beautiful, but it is disgustingly close to my heart, and it’s the first movie i ask people to watch when they come to me for lgbt recs. it’s about tough love and found family and learning to live for your dreams instead of around them.
  • warnings for alcohol, child neglect, multiple f slurs, and homophobia both internal and external
  • 5 stars
  • happy ending!

a single man (2009)

• a gorgeous, understated film about a man reeling from the death of his long-time partner. takes place over the course of a single day in 1962.
  • warnings for blood, death, nudity, smoking, homophobia, guns, and major attempted suicide warning
  • 5 stars
  • available on netflix streaming
  • nearly happy ending… but then not

leave it on the floor (2011)

• a musical about a young man who falls in with the pageant crowd after being kicked out by his mother. i’m not a trans woman so it’s not my place to say whether this film is acceptable or not, as it’s full of drag queens, but the dedication at the beginning is made out to gay, bisexual, and transgender teens on the streets, and also this list is very white and this is one of handful of films i’ve found with a black gay protagonist.
  • warnings for sex & very explicit talk of sex, homophobia, transmisogyny, suicide ideation, shitty parents, and a pretty violent character death
  • 4 stars just for princess’ number about justin timberlake (fantastic soundtrack)
  • available on netflix
  • would be a happy ending but any joy is marred by the earlier death

pariah (2011)

• a young lesbian poet living in brooklyn struggles to express herself while keeping her sexuality hidden from her religious family. alike is a likable protagonist with a dazzling smile, her story ultimately ends on a high note, and the world around her is well-constructed and realistic– but maybe it’s too realistic. there are a lot of loose ends: conflicts that seem unfounded or go unaddressed, important details that might lend more impact to the story but remain unexplained, minor characters whose fates are never shown. though it was an enjoyable movie, much of it was tense. the writing was powerful and the cast appealing, but it left me a little unsatisfied. mostly, i just want to know what happened to laura.
  • warnings for d slur, homophobia both internal and external, transphobic language, religion, explicit discussion of sex, infidelity, and a scene toward the end involving child abuse
  • 3 stars
  • available on netflix
  • happy ending!

boys / jongens (2014)

• two boys on the same track team fall for each other amidst competitive and societal pressure. not all of my friends enjoyed this film, but i did. it’s not incredibly deep but it’s sweet, and like the way he looks, it’s a coming of age story. i’m always on the lookout for lgbt films that don’t include gratuitous underage sex, because as much as i adore some of the above titles, i’m not always comfortable with their explicit content.
  • 3 stars
  • available on netflix (u.s.)
  • happy ending!

i killed my mother / j'ai tué ma mère (2009)

• a biographical exposé of a québécois teenager’s relationship with his mother, directed, written, and starred in by xavier dolan. this is a very weird little movie. it’s visually beautiful; the shots and lighting are lovely, many of the actors including xavier are attractive, and the message is rich and human. that’s the best way to describe it, i guess: human. the film itself changes its mind as often and abruptly as its characters, one moment gentle, another caustic, seemingly without reason. while this can be a bit disorienting, rather than ruining the impact of the film, the technique actually seems to prove it; people are infinitely complicated, whether they’re together or alone. the first scene may be black and white, but relationships rarely are.
  • warnings for smoking, drugs, sex, and homophobic violence
  • 4 stars
  • available on netflix (u.s.)
  • ambiguous ending.

were the world mine (2008)

• another musical! a bullied boy starring in his high school’s production of a midsummer night’s dream acquires the real version of the fictional flower that oberon uses on titania, and uses it to make everyone in his small town attracted to their same gender, including the rugby player he has a crush on. ridiculous and silly, full of wacky costumes (think your early 2000s halloween costume with the metallic hairspray) and random choreographed dance numbers, a bit awkward in places but a total romp that makes its point well.
  • warning for homophobia, f slur, q slur, family issues, issues of consent, transmisogyny
  • 4 stars
  • available on netflix
  • happy ending!

naked as we came (2013)

• i went into this film expecting eyecandy and minimal plot, but to my surprise it turned out to contain laugh-out-loud gallows humor, a warm cast, a particularly biting fight scene, and a stunning knock-out singing performance.
  • warnings for death, drugs, and cancer, but if you can stomach that, definitely worth it
  • 3 stars
  • available on netflix
  • not a happy ending.

bound (1996)

• bound, aka bonnie and also bonnie, is a 90s lesbian gangster movie directed by the wachowski sisters, which is just about the best sentence i have ever typed. corky, fresh out of jail, is contracted as a handywoman for the apartment next to that of an italian mobster and his lovely girlfriend, violet. the two women start an unapologetic relationship under his nose, but it can’t go on like this forever– violet wants out of the mob, and she needs corky’s help to get away clean. together, they hatch the greatest gay heist of the century. this film is sexy, thrilling, a fantastic noir with compelling characters, and all done up in black, white, and red. it comes on strong at first, but it slowly reveals itself to be much smarter, much scarier, and much better than you may have expected– a lot like violet.
  • warnings for violence, blood, gore (one on-screen severed finger and the suggestion of more), injury and murder, guns, several uses of the d slur, one c slur, one q slur, one use of ps*cho, nudity and explicit sex, alcohol
  • 4 stars
  • available on netflix
  • happy ending for the people you care about

but i’m a cheerleader (1999)

• a teenager (natasha lyonne!!!) is sent away to a “correctional” camp after her family accuses her of being a lesbian. as it turns out, she is! and she’s in love with her new roommate. a classic! fun, funny, sweet, stylized, an overall feel good movie and a must-see.
  • warnings for major homophobia, religion, cissexism, and sex
  • 5 stars
  • available on netflix
  • happy ending!

i love you, phillip morris (2009)

• an incorrigible con-man meets the love of his life in prison, and spends the rest of his life fighting to keep him. charming narration and airy music choices undercut the grim content of this movie; it’s clever, strangely sweet, and co-stars ewan mcgregor as the gentlest gay soul to ever live. ewan mcgregor is my boy, okay, even when his scottish accent slips into his clearly fake southern one, and i just want him to be happy. unfortunately, he’s not.
  • warnings for violence, blood, a suicide attempt, aids, q slur, f slur, nudity & sexual content, needles, eating disorder (including self-inflicted puking in one scene), and a “joke” that’s racist and antisemitic
  • 4 stars
  • available on netflix
  • happy ending, then unhappy ending, then ambiguous ending?? it’s a mystery.mp3

weekend (2011)

• a one-night stand turns into something more powerful, but only for the weekend. highly explicit and frank discussion of sex & politics. i only saw it once and can never see it again so i’m afraid i can’t give you much more than that in terms of warnings. a youtube comment on this film once read, “this movie literally killed me and my entire family.” this is an understatement. this movie literally killed me, my entire family, all of my friends, and multiple strangers on the internet i have never spoken to. if given the chance i would absolutely punch andrew haigh in the face.
  • 3 stars
  • available on netflix
  • not a happy ending.

love songs / les chansons d'amour (2007)

• yet another musical! a good trend imho. this film is incredibly hard to find in america, and as such i haven’t even seen it, but i have it on good authority it’s worth watching if you can somehow hold it in your grubby little hands. two french lovers must deal with the sudden death of their third partner, which they do through song and dance. starring the magnificent louis garrel. all i can really say about this is, well, good luck, and if you do somehow track it down, please share it with me.

d.e.b.s. (2004)

• four schoolgirls from four different countries are selected to be a spy team, codename d.e.b.s., but when they cross an infamous jewel thief and crime syndicate leader, one of them falls for her. their relationship is forbidden both because they’re women and because they’re on different sides of the law. frankly i don’t think either max or dominique get enough screen time considering they’re the only people in this movie who aren’t white, but i had no say. this is the most (intentionally) ridiculous film i’ve ever seen, but you say “lesbians” and i say “how high.”
  • warning for smoking, one use of the r slur, weapons, flashing lights, implicit sex, and homophobia
  • 4 stars
  • happy ending!

boy meets girl (2015)

• f i n a l l y, a movie about a trans woman played by a trans woman. and kissing another woman! this is a slice of life film about ricky, a small town trans girl of many talents. this film is about the courage it takes to be yourself, flaws and all. it’s definitely worth a watch, it made me bawl like a baby
  • warnings for ableism, transmisogyny, transphobia, cissexism, homophobia, uncomfortable personal questions ignorant cis people tend to ask trans people, quick mentions of eating disorder & drugs & self-harm & suicidal thoughts in the same one scene, explicit talk of sex, explicit nudity, t slur, frequent use of “biologically” & “genetically” even from ricky herself, and r slur
  • 5 stars
  • available on netflix
  • if you have a soul you’ll cry but happy ending, i promise

judas kiss (2011)

• zachary, a failing filmmaker, returns to his alma mater to judge the annual film festival in the place of his now-famous friend, but when his one-night stand turns out to be a competing student, things get a little more complicated– especially when it’s revealed that he has the same name and entry zachary himself used when he was in the festival. has he been given a chance to change his own past? the concept isn’t carried out perfectly and the science is never fully explained, but listen, judas kiss is something else. gotta be honest, i saw selfcest in the synopsis, said “fuck it, why not?” and dove in headfirst, but it ended up being so much more powerful and haunting than i ever expected. in some scenes it’s sexy, in others it’s wrenching, and in all of the above i’m weak as hell for richard harmon
  • warnings for homophobia, references to suicide, parent/child incest and rape/csa (clearly shown as wrong but still clearly shown), manipulative/abuse relationships, and cheating. this is another difficult one, but worth a watch
  • 4 stars
  • available on netflix
  • happy ending

pride (2014)

• ohhh, this film. fuck, this film. set during the british miners’ strike of 1984 and based on a true story, pride follows a ragtag group of gay and lesbian activists trying to raise money to help the families of the workers on strike. when they focus their efforts on a particular welsh town, “it takes a village” finds a whole new meaning. it's endlessly rewatchable, and now in the top 5 of my favorite movies of all time. i love it a lot, and spent much of my first and second go around alternatively crying and falling in love with the minor character who i thought might be quietly a trans girl? it’s honest, it’s funny, it's excellent, and it reaches right through the screen to squeeze your hand and remind you that you are not alone. also bill nighy and andrew scott are in it.
  • warnings for homophobia and homophobic violence, q slur, d slur, f slur, alcohol, smoking, misogyny, that shitty thing of a gay person coming out and a straight person saying “i know,” and frank discussion of aids and death
  • 6 damn stars
  • beautiful beautiful bittersweet ending

bonuses:

beginners (2010)

• following the death of his father, a young man (ewan mcgregor, again, my dude) reflects on his life, including the day his father came out to him. told in flashbacks, the main pairing is hetero with the dad more or less in the background, but i personally love this film. the protagonist talks to his dog and the dog talks back using subtitles. it’s precious.
  • warnings for cancer, nudity, & parent death
  • 3 stars
  • available on netflix
  • bittersweet ending!

sense8 (2015) a sci-fi story about 8 strangers from across the world who suddenly become connected, and the people who want to take that from them. this one’s a tv show, which is why it’s not on the full list. 2 gay men (both hispanic, one of them latino) and 2 extremely happy lesbians (one of them the lovely freema agyeman, one of them trans and played by a trans woman), all done beautifully, plus some other pretty great characters. lotta major warnings for this one, too many to put here, since this is the footnotes anyway, but feel free to ask me privately

• 5 stars
• available on netflix
• no ending yet

looking (2014-2015)

• from the creator of weekend, looking is a dramedy about a group of beautiful, deeply flawed, and silly people living in san francisco. another tv series, looking stars jonathan groff, who is far too handsome for his good or mine, and a lot of other very attractive and talented people, including scott bakula, sometimes. plus, in season 2, trans people are actually mentioned a few times! and have lines! which is not enough but more than i expected. in turns sweet and cringe-worthy, looking definitely never fails to entertain, even with its time cut short.
  • warnings for classism, homophobia, q slur, nudity, nearly explicit sex and discussion of sex, alcohol + drugs, cheating, frank discussion of aids, bad relationships, and bad choices in general
  • 4 stars
  • cancelled after 2 seasons

DO NOT WATCH: this is not reverse psychology i’m serious these movies are not good each for their own special reason and i’m telling you beforehand so that if you see them and think “hey, that looks fun,” You Will Know Better

free fall / freier fall (2013)

• bad, bad, terrible, bad, one of the worst lgbt films ive seen. the main men are white cops in a training course for riot control, which is just about as yikes as it sounds. the sex scenes are downright nonconsensual, the lead is shitty to his pregnant wife for like, no reason, lordt the never-resolved internalized homophobia, and the ending is unhappy and ambiguous; nobody gets what they wanted, especially the viewer.

the birdcage (1996)

• this one’s dated but not dated enough that i’m gonna let it get away with the disgusting level of transmisogyny it displays. i only saw about a third of it once before i had to physically leave the room so maybe it’s good who knows

gbf (2013)

• spongebob-BOY.png ! this movie is a disgrace. it spends an hour hammering in that gay people are just accessories to the op heterosexual machine and then when the gay people in question finally get to correct this point, they still end up ambiguously unhappy. it’s such a roller coaster of stereotypes and bad writing and when you have bravely suffered all the way to the credits you don’t even get the payoff of knowing that those characters you invested your time and emotions in have better lives. so save yourself the trouble and just refund your ticket.

the geography club (2013)

• this film is full of internalized homophobia and the unnecessary and harmful idea that if you’re not out and proud you’re not really gay, completely ignoring the fact that you might be putting your safety at risk, and that the only reason we have to come out at all is the blanket assumption of cishet until proven lgbt. characters forcibly out other characters against their express wishes, and are then painted as brave and right by the narrative. basically, don’t bother.

all yours (2014)

• again, like, this is straight up sexual assault.

white frog (2012)

• i got so excited seeing this movie on netflix because the cover image made it seem like the mc, who’s autistic, was going to fall in love with tyler posey. since i’m autistic, the idea of an autistic character being shown with agency and the ability to love and be loved thrilled me to no end, after a thousand neurotypical narratives about how weird and cold we are. tragically, i was disappointed yet again. this is a classic ableist portrayal of autism by allistics, and some of the behavior exhibited by minor characters is literally abusive. it hits every point on my Do Not list. a closet full of the same shirt? check. behavioral modification therapy? check. narrative praise for the autistic character clearly going way out of their comfort zone to please allistics? check. rubik’s cube scene? fuuuuucking check. and homophobic to boot. and tyler posey is in like 3 scenes tops. worthless.

dream boy (2008)

• oh, this movie. i wanted to like this movie. i did. it has sweet moments. it tries. but the first half is dominated by bad acting, bad writing, bad pacing, narrative conflicts between the teenagers that come out of nowhere, and scenes where several unnecessary minutes are taken up by discussion of mundane things unimportant to the plot (i shit you not, the main characters bond over tutoring and for the first time in film history they… actually tutor. and you have to listen to it). every few lines i swear i said “oh my g-d” because i just couldn’t believe anyone had signed off on this. after about minute 40 it turns out that the only (i stress, only) well-done piece is the hardest to swallow; the main character is being sexually abused by a parent, and while that puts his actions into a new light, breaks my heart, and is, shockingly, for a while there, handled alright, the film just isn’t good. even after the plot picks up, much of the dialogue is still incoherent due either to mumbling or to bad diction and thick southern accents, the sex scenes are still sudden, cringe-worthy, and uncomfortably explicit for underage characters, and everything is still ten times more awkward and disjointed than it needs to be. the only nice things i could have said about it were: the main character is the single decent actor (which i guess is the most important one to get right), the music choices are actually great, and the haunted house scene is sufficiently creepy. but that was before i saw the senseless bullshit ending they slapped onto it. honestly james bolton. what are we. -1 star. except i kind of want the soundtrack