learn how to speak korean properly so i can properly tell B1A4 everything they've done for me and to be able to tell them how thankful i am for their existence and how special they are to me i messed up the first time but this time i'm going to tell them as much as i possibly can and let them know that they're loved so much and to thank them for absolutely everything

i want jinyoung to know that even while they were gone for a year, banas never once doubted them EVER and that we'll be here for him and for the rest of the boys for MUCH longer than 10 years

i want shinwoo to know that even though i love his genuine selflessness that he should put himself before us because his health his important and i want him to grow well (as he basically has already)

i want sandeul to know that he's so talented and that watching him grow all these 4 years is such a blessing. i never would've thought someone who was already so amazing in my eyes could get even more amazing and talented. i want to wish him the absolute best in his future activities and to know that i'll be watching and admiring him the whole way.

i want baro to know that he's such a bright boy that never fails to bring me up. he's improved SO much over the years from dancing to rapping to writing to acting THE WHOLE WORKS and i'm just so amazed by the endless amount of things he's done and have yet to do. i never would've thought of him as an actor until recently, and he just never fails to amaze me. also back to his lyrics, over the years they've been getting better and better each time AND ALSO his rapping in general. baro has the most beautifully deep rapping voice, AND SINGING VOICE, and i always look forward to hearing more from him.

lastly, i want to tell gongchan flat out " thank you ". thank you for being the light of my life these past four years. because of him i've found a reason to keep going on in life even though it was so hard. his bright smiles that i can't resist smiling along with and cute laugh that i used to find obnoxious but now sounds like the most beautiful music in my ears; i love everything about him and because of him i've learned to accept more things about myself. i used to hate how uneven my eyelids were and i hated looking into a mirror to see them because i thought it was hideous, but on gongchan it's the most beautiful thing because he's the most gorgeous, shining eyes one could ever be so blessed to look into. i still have internal issues with my dark skin but gongchan has made me hate my skin a little bit less. if i were to pin anyone as my life savior i wouldn't be joking at all when i say that that person is gong chansik. [t/w suicide mention] i remember wanting to kill myself s long ago but because i had the small hope in my heart to be able to meet the person, the people, who saved my life i kept going and 'm so thankful for them. meeting gongchan those short couple of seconds were all that i needed in my life i love him so much i don't know what i'd be doing if i didn't have him if anything i wouldn't even be here anymore but that doesn't matter because i'm here and i'm so thankful for B1A4 i love them so much.

it's always hard for me to put how much i love them into words without getting sentimental and tearing about my honestly really dark past, but i'm so thankful to have them here. i've been able to stay strong these past 4 years because of them. i've become a much better, sweeter person and it's all thanks to B1A4. i love them so much i'm so thankfu l sfor tthem