why do i care so much what my mom thinks? i if my room is dirty, i should be worried about that, not what she thinks of my room being dirty. there is literally nothing to be afraid of. she cant take my things away or kick me out. she will be disappointed for a second and carry on like normal. why do i feel like i have to put up a front for her so she doesnt feel bad when thats not my reality. i am doing so many things FOR HER that she didnt ask for. i need to see how these things are bad and good for ME and not how it is affecting her. it is my life and yet i spend every minute of it trying to show for someone who wants me to live my truth however terrible it looks. i know she wants the best for me but it does not look like i am there yet. i need to begin my process but this whole fake front is killing it. please stop doing this to yourself. please stop amal. just have faith that you are going to get through this and stop making excuses and being nervous when you have no rhyme or reason.