ᯓ✮ RAMBLES

Sometimes I genuinely think I'm the adopted one. Why are the parents favoring the brother more, and why does he get the most privilege? I get that some people wouldn't choose to adopt if they'll only focus on and favor only one, but man. I can't help it. Like, YEAH, sure, okay, I'm transAdopted but what if, right? Especially since I've felt much more connected to Japan and China ever since I was very little, and I've had little to no connection to the culture I grew up in. It's hard. Even harder when the parents have such a tight grip on you and OF COURSE— parents are old; the father is already in the early stages of dementia because he and mom have 20 years age gap. It's not that I'm scared he'll forget the family and us; I'm scared I might be affected because I got so used to being detached from him. What if all of that comes back, yk?

Sappy and sad shit aside. I have been in the CTDR community for at least 4 months now, I think? Was a transJapanese and transChinese in-denial for my entire life, so now I'm completely aware of my identities thanks to the Radqueer person in my old Discord account. BUT I have been in the Radqueer community for 1yr 4mos.!

I am also pretty active in a CTDR server; given that I am a mod there, I'm bound to be active, plus I love that server; very cool. I also have a LOT of TransIDs labels because why not? I hoard a lot of IDs as a hobby, even though I would forget all of them but still. Good thing I have Notion to aesthetically arrange my labels.