5) James: i was so convinced that in third grade that he flirted with me. i thought he was smiling in my direction during our mandatory chorus session. i wrote all about it in my diary.

4) Steven: he was short as heck and had gelled spikes. gelled spikes. sadly enough, he looks the same except now his eyes dont all the way open because of all the weed hes smoked.

3) Tyler: he was and still is a jackass, but that didnt stop me from having a crush on him for two whopping years. thats the second longest crush i have ever had.

2) Cameron: oh man, this kid was all over my diary in sixth grade. i was such a bully to him, too. hah, he was in my italian class three years after i "loved" him and, i swear, he would not make eye contact with me. and in 10th grade, we had two classes together and the same thing happened. no eye contact what do ever. haha, oh awkward times XP

1) Ed: he was by far my biggest crush. since i was about, i dont know, eight or so, i was enormously infatuated with this kid. he was my older brothers best friend and i cant even say that he was all that attractive. i grew up thinking he was awesomely awesome so now, because of him, i am thoroughly attracted to tall, skinny, adorable, broad-shouldered men. even though im getting older and doing the dating thingy, i still have a faint crush on him. hah, its so stupid because i dont even really know the guy.

• 2009-2010

1) ChemGuy1: he sat in front of my friend in chemistry. hes tall and skinny, has a 4-6 pack (thats what i call it), and has the amazing blue eyes. he smokes weed occasionally, has the best food EVER in his house, is jewish, is amazingly sweet, reacts in funny ways, sings even though he cant, is a lifeguard, wants the experiences i crave, makes the best hand gestures, can handle my oddities, and makes me a better person. although my interest in him rose and fell during the year, i know that i really, really, like this guy now. hes my first boyfriend.

2) ChemGuy2: he sits in front of me in chem. hes tall and muscly and has a cute smile. but his best feature is the way he smells--like heaven. it sounds like a hyperbole but trust me, I AM NOT JOKING. he has a girlfriend. you wouldve though that i would have wanted them to break up, but i didn't. although they didnt hold hands in the hallway, i saw him put his arm around her once and it was just so cute. she was a good height for him, too. this crush ended pretty fast when me and CG1 started getting to know each other better.