dear saturn,

i feel dumb referring to you as saturn, but that's what i'm gonna stick with, because using your actual name is really fucking embarrassing. anyway, i try not to show it, but i'm incredibly infatuated with you. thoughts of you invade my brain at any given moment. actually, it's less of an invasion and more of a, i dunno, a flooding. you kind of just belong in there, like you were meant to be constantly in my thoughts. is it weird that i'm obsessed with someone literally old enough to be my mom? probably... but whatever. i just can't get enough of you. i know i'm really awkward every time i interact with you, but i'm really trying to come out of my shell. it's not you, i promise. maybe one day i'll be brave enough to maintain eye contact with you for more than a minute. i think i screamed a little when i saw that email you sent me. i was so ecstatic that you liked my writing, and i was practically floating the entire day. still kind of am, to be honest. did you know that i get all dressed up in the morning in hopes that you'll think i'm pretty? kinda pathetic, i know. this morning i caught myself thinking about how you'd feel about my lipstick shade. even though you don't know it, you're subtly influencing every choice i make. god, i love you so much. i just wish i could tell you.

love, olivia