8/23/14

Things I Can Achieve in 20 Years:

• Become a screenwriter. With school, without school, rich or poor, doesn't matter - become a screenwriter. Write a movie. Do what YOU want.
• Open up my own production house. Become a producer. No holds barred; write what I love, film what I love, and support other artists along the way. Sure it's not as grand as mainstream films, but I can market the hell out of a movie. Do whatever it takes to do and get what I want, so I can be happy.

Things I can do Now

• Start a blog. Post my writings on there, critique movies.
• Finish the novels I've started. All of them.
• Publish said novels. Sell them as ebooks. Sell them on amazon.

These ideas are just ones I've tossed around in my head a bit, nothing set in stone, but it's hit me that these are the things that really make me happy in life, and no matter how hard or inconceivable they may seem, they may just be the road for me to take in life. 

Things I Know For Sure

• I love to write. Novels and movies. 
• I'm not happy in environments where I'm not mentally stimulated and challenged. 
• I want to do what I love for a living in a stimulating, challenging way, where I can participate and feel like part of a team that is creating something wonderful for the world. Like elves in a santa shop. 

Anxieties 

• These kinds of vocations don't offer financial security. Or safety, of any kind. 
• And I'm poor. Poor as fuck. And under qualified, academically speaking; my high school was a doozy, and I've only been to community colleges. 
• I can have incredible performance anxiety. Stage fright is huge. I know writers don't typically work on stage, but what if my job calls for it? It's terrifying. 
• Even if I do make it as far as being a screenwriter/novelist, how much of m imagination and creativity is being censored by executives and directors and editors and every other flim-flam out there? I want to be able to film what I write. Nothing less.

  It doesn't matter how inconceivable or out of my league these thoughts are. In practical terms, these are solutions to my fears and anxieties, and my desires. I don't want to be poor forever. And I don't want to schmope around in a lukewarm job forever. I want to be happy. Happiness starts now.