(because truthfully, you're all that ever seems to cross my mind in those in-between moments, in a daze, or right before bed)

  • the little things from you will forever be one of my favorite things: the way you will kind of arbitrarily compliment when i least expect it, or say 'i love you so much' with such sincerity, even as your stirring just slightly from a nap. i've never needed grandiose gestures; just the little things.
  • (5/28) i met you a year ago on this very day, with no suspicion (in the slighest) that it would be you, you, you, one entire year later. i still remember your charisma and your ridiculous sense of humor, and i suppose, that even then, we were bound to be at least good friends. we were complete opposites. you were amiable, charming and forward, i was reserved and sarcastic and played my cards (literally and figuratively) carefully. i was known to keep my guard up. but just this once, i made this exception for you, made this exception as you leaned your head on my shoulder as all of us sat in that room with the movie playing. let you stay there, kept my mouth pressed even when i could feel your eyes glance up at me just long enough for your best friend to notice and call you out. i played it coy, but you'd be surprised by the things i notice (everything, if you want an answer). it was late by the time we headed up to ashley's room, exhausted and nearing two am, and you were still over. i was lying down on my stomach, dozing off when i felt your hands massage my spine, hesitantly at first, then more confidently as i'd shot you a quick glance to check. and i remember thinking it nice, the foreignness of it all. i tried not to read into it too much, this unexpected affection, and for days to follow i tried to convince myself it was simply what it was. and yet, to this day, i will always, always always wonder why it was me that you chose-- but i have no qualms, as insane as you drive me (whether for better or for worse), because i'm glad it was us.
  • (8/6) it's comforting to know that we will always find our way back to each other.
  • (8/21) it's been a year since our first "official date". i still smile when i think of it, because i remember how much i tried to conceal my excitement when you called that morning, i remember your nervous energy, all your silly puns and that sense of humor of yours that had me hooked, completely, entirely. the way you took my hand so suddenly as we were fixated on one of the exhibits and looked to me for approval. and we spent the day like this, running about the zoo, our fingers entwined, the newness of it all making me unusually brave and more gregarious that usual. you got a glimpse of me, as i am now, a bit all over the place, but you laughed with me then just as you do now. and i liked you for that, because it was so easy to be me with you around. you took me by the waist by the time we were in the snake exhibit, rested your chin on my head and told me you liked that i was short, because it was perfect like that. funny that i remember everything you told me this day, like the mind doesn't forget all the things that have made it's counterpart flutter. that night we had dinner together in a hip, overpriced restaurant downtown, and we were seated at a booth by the window, me drawing circles on the palm of your hand when you asked me, "so... what are we?". i didn't know how to reply then, so i smiled that ambiguous smile that you still can't read to this day, and filled my lack of an answer with one of your own, "we're having a good time. that's what we are."
  • (9/17) in retrospect, our lives have always been even the slightest bit entwined, but by mysterious workings of the universe, or time and place, or fate, or chance, or mere serendipitous luck... it had to be then. it was always missed connections our entire youth, or never quite paying attention to what was in front of us, until it all became suddenly lucid, last summer. it's almost been an entire year, and i am still in love with you as i was then. i always knew i'd love far too much when the time came, but the notion doesn't quite scare me the way it used to, knowing that you'll be there to take care of it.
may 18 2012 ∞
sep 17 2012 +