- Being with him made my brain quiet. I didn't have to invent a thing. pg 12
- I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it. pg 17
- I read the first chapter of a brief history of time when Dad was still alive and I got incredibly heavy boots about how relatively insignificant life is, and how, compared to the universe and compared to time, it didn't even matter if I existed at all. pg 86
- "Humans are the only animal that blushes, laughs, has religion wages war, and kisses with lips. So in a way, the more you kiss with lips, the more human you are" pg 99
- "You see, I was pretending to be a monster, and I became a monster" pg 101
- I have so much to tell you, the problem isn't that I'm running out of time, I'm running out of room, this book is filling up, there couldn't be enough pages, I looked around the apartment this morning for one last time and there was writing everywhere, filling the walls and mirrors, I'd rolled up the rugs so I could write on the floors, I'd written on the windows and around the bottle of wine we were given but never drank, I wear only short sleeves, even when it's cold, because my arms are books, too. pg 132
- But there's too much to express. I'm sorry. That's what I've been trying to say to you, I'm sorry for everything. pg 132
- I'm sorry for my inability to let the unimportant things go, for my inability to hold on to the important things. pg 132
- I felt, that night, on that stage, under that skull, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What's so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What's so great about feeling and dreaming? pg 145
- "So many people enter and leave you life! Hundreds of thousands of people! You have to keep the door open so they can come in! But it also means you have to let them go!" pg 153
- You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. pg 180
- Anyone who believes that a second is faster than a decade did not live my life. pg 181
- If I'd been someone else in a different world I'd've done something different.
Sometimes one simply wants to disappear. There's nothing wrong with not understanding yourself. pg 184
- "I'm going to bury my feelings deep inside me." "What do you mean, bury your feelings?" "No matter how much I feel, I'm not going to let it out. If I have to cry, I'm gonna cry on the inside. If I have to bleed, I'll bruise. If my heart starts going crazy, I'm not gonna tell everyone in the worl about it. It doesn't help anything. It just makes everyone's life worse." "But if you're burying your feelings deep inside you, you won't really be you, will you?" "So?" pg 203
- It's the tragedy of loving, you can't love anything more than something you miss. pg 208
- Thinking would keep me alive. But now I am alive, and thinking is killing me. pg 215
- "I'm so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything" pg 216
- When I looked at you, my life made sense. Even the bad things made sense. pg 232
- "I not know was New York. In Chinese, ny mean 'you.' Thought was 'I love you.'" pg 239
- feeling pain is still better than not feeling, isn't it? pg 245
- I\When I woke up in the middle of the night, I was all alone. It was cold. I was scared. I walked to the railing. Right there. I'd never felt more alone. It was as if the building had become much taller. Or the city had become much darker. But I'd never felt more alive, either. I'd never felt more alive or alone." pg 254
- I'm sorry, if that's true, the last thing I would have wanted was for you to be like me, I left so you could be you. pg 277
- "it is my great hope that our paths, however long and winding, will cross again." pg 279
- I was exhausted and frustrated and pessimistic, even though what I wanted to be was happy. pg 287
- Because it was starting to get dark, and because the streets were crowded, I bumped into a googolplex people. who where they? Where were they going? What were they looking for? I wanted to hear their heartbeats, and I wanted them to hear mine. pg 288
- I didn't want to hear about death. It was all anyone talked about, even when no one was actually talking about it. pg 295
- I tried to notice everything, because I wanted to be able to remember it perfectly. I've forgotten everything important in my life. pg 308
- Things were happening around us, but nothing was happening between us. pg 312
- I thought we would be awake all night. Awake for the rest of our lives. The space between our words grew. It became difficult to tell when wer were talking and when we were silent. pg 313
- I hope you never love anything as much as I love you. (p. 73)
- Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on. I hope you never think about anything as much as I think about you. (p. 224)
jun 24 2010 ∞
may 21 2011 +